EPHESIANS 5-6 I WILL WALK WISELY IN MY DAILY RELATIONSHIPS2019 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: Ephesians 5-6 I Will Walk Wisely In My Daily Relationships

You are listening to FerventWord, an online Bible study ministry with teachings and tools to help you grow deeper in your relationship with God. The following message was taught by Jerry Simmons in 2019. Ephesians chapter 5 starting in verse 15 says, "'See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.'"

Therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

submitting to one another in the fear of God. Here as we look at Ephesians chapter 5, I've titled the message this evening, I will walk wisely in my daily relationships. I will walk wisely in my daily relationships. Now,

A couple of weeks ago when we were here in Ephesians chapter 5, we went through verse 15 through 21 as well, actually through the end of the chapter and talked a little bit about the husband and wife portion there and we'll hit some highlights from that again. But we're starting back here in verse 15 because it's important to understand that Paul is not really changing subjects.

And really this week, and as we continue on into chapter six, we're looking at things that are rooted in what Paul teaches here in Ephesians chapter five, verses 15 through 17, about walking circumspectly and about being wise and understanding the will of the Lord.

Now, all of this has its roots really in Ephesians chapters one through three. And just to recap that since it's been a couple of weeks since we've been here in the book of Ephesians, we understood from chapters one, two, and three of Ephesians, our identity in Christ. We have this incredible position as a result of believing in Jesus Christ. And we have this brand new identity.

We are new creatures in Christ. And as believers in Jesus Christ, there's this transformation that has taken place. And we may not always see it or feel it or recognize it, but we have this new identity. And that's important to know because, well, the world around us is trying to push upon us a different identity.

And who we've always known ourselves to be before Christ is still there and in our minds and in our hearts. And we can easily begin to operate in our old identity and behave the way that we used to and think and believe and be limited by those things. Or we can accept the identity that others declare us to be. This is who you are and this is what you're like. And

And we can accept that to our detriment because, well, in Christ, old things have passed away and behold, all things have become new. That we have this new identity, which comes with great positions, incredible resources, and blessings that we cannot even yet begin to fathom and understand. Chapters 1, 2, and 3 give us some really powerful insights into who we are in Christ.

But then in chapters 4, 5, and 6, Paul shifts gears and says, okay, now that you know who you are, now walk worthy of the calling with which you were called. Now that you know who you are and all that you have in Christ, now here's how that will impact or here's how that should look in your life. And it is then the opportunity for us to behave according to who God has created us to be.

And so chapters 4, 5, and 6 are all about our walk. We started looking at walking in unity and walking in humility. And that union that we have with one another as believers in Jesus, that we are to walk united with other Christians. He also called us to walk in the light.

And to walk in love. And then here in chapter 5 verse 15. Now we're looking at and considering this walk circumspectly. Because of who you are. Here's how you should live. Here is how you should walk. And so Paul says in verse 15 again. See then that you walk circumspectly. Not as fools but as wise. Redeeming the time because the days are evil.

This idea of circumspectly, it means to have this 360 degree view. When he says to walk circumspectly, he's saying have a diligent understanding of what is going on around you. In my mind, I picture that as when you are driving and you're paying attention and you're

Be aware of the vehicles that are coming up behind you, the vehicles that are coming alongside of you, the vehicles that are in front of you, so that if there is an emergency or, you know, someone swerves that you know, I can move into this lane because I've been paying attention. I'm aware of what's over there. So I know it's clear. I know I can go. As opposed to something happens and you're like, I've got to swerve, but I'm aware of what's over there.

You know, I don't know if I can go there. I don't know if it's safe. And so then you're trying to evaluate and look and see if it's clear while you're making the turn, right? And that's not a good way to be. But when you're alert and you're paying attention, you're conscious of, wow, this guy is coming up behind me really fast. You know, he's going to be alongside of me really in just a moment. And you're aware of those things that are happening around you.

This is what Paul is calling us to. He is saying you need to have a complete and thorough understanding of what's going on around you. And so walk in that way, having a diligent and accurate understanding of what is taking place around you in your life. So he tells us to do this, redeeming the time, redeeming the time, buying back the time, making good use of the time.

Now, when we talk about redeeming the time as Christians, a lot of times in our Christian minds and, you know, kind of our religious training that we've had, we've experienced, redeeming the time, we immediately begin to associate that in our minds with reaching out to the lost. We begin to attach that to, you know, we're putting these concepts together to be redeeming the time because the days are evil and it's about, you know, witnessing and sharing the gospel and

Certainly that is an aspect of redeeming the time. But what I found interesting as I was preparing for our time together this evening, the focus now as Paul goes on in the rest of chapter 5 and then on into the beginning of chapter 6, the focus is not on go preach the gospel on the street corners, but the focus is really on our daily interactions with the people around us. And that's why I titled the message, I Will Walk Wisely in My Daily Relationships.

that we are interacting with one another daily. And those relationships, those interactions that we have, Paul is calling our attention to them and saying, you need to be really wise about those relationships. You need to be paying attention to walking circumspectly when it comes to your marriage, when it comes to your family, when it comes to your workplace, when it comes to your

that you need to be sharp and wise and paying attention and alert to the circumstances that you're in. And it's in that context that you are to be redeeming the time and making the most of the opportunities that God has given to you. I think this is important and interesting for us to consider because, well, it is easy for us to be at our worst in those contexts where we are most familiar.

It's easy for us to kind of like let everything go, right? I noticed none of you are like, you know, kind of sprawled out in your underwear, just, you know, laying on the chairs. But if I pop in at your home, it's pretty likely I might find you like that, right? It's in that context, you're just kind of like, who cares? You know, someone sees my belly under my shirt, like it's not a big deal. But we go out in public and then it's like, you know, okay, you know, okay, everything in place, everything good, right?

the conversations that we have, the words that we use, it can be, not always, but it can be, oftentimes in the home where we're less guarded. And so we say things that we wouldn't say in the presence of Pastor Cisco, you know, oh, Cisco's around. Now I got to watch my language, right? I got to kind of clean up my tongue and clean up the words that I use. It's easy in those contexts where we're most familiar to be at our worst, to be unguarded, to be

Not walking circumspectly, but then when we're out, you know, in public or in some other context, then it's like we're paying attention. And here Paul says, look, not that you shouldn't be walking circumspectly in other contexts, but at the home, in the workplace, where you are every day with the people that you interact with on a daily basis, that's when you are to be on your best behavior.

That's when you need to be sharp and redeeming the time because the days are evil and you have limited time and limited opportunity with those conversations. Listen, if you're that kind of person where you have, you know, this whole persona when you're in the public context and then at home you have this different persona or at work you have, you know, this different persona, this different personality, this different kind of portrayal of yourself, one of those is fake.

And God doesn't want you to be fake. He wants you to be genuine. And so to be walking circumspectly at home is important. It's probably the hardest place for us to walk circumspectly because it's so familiar. And yet at the same time, we need to. We need to be wise in how we behave and how we live in every conversation with those that we speak to every day. The commentator F.B. Meyer puts it this way. The opportunities of life are fleeting pasts.

Let us buy them up. They are most valuable because they form the seed plot of eternity. In the other life, we shall reap the harvest which we have prepared for here. We are sowing seeds that have eternal fruit, and especially amongst those that we're interacting with on a daily basis. Walking circumspectly is not about encountering the random stranger.

but it's about talking with and spending time with and how you do that with the people that you interact with every day. And so he goes on to say in verse 17, therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. So don't be unwise. Don't be foolish in the way that you relate. Don't be foolish in your daily relationships, but understand the will of the Lord. This is God's will for you to walk circumspectly.

specifically in the context of your home, of your workplace, within your marriage, that you would have great wisdom, that you would have great care and diligence and consideration in interacting. That's what God's will is for you. I will walk wisely in my daily relationships. And so we're going to

Cover a few different aspects of this as we work our way through the rest of chapter 5 and then on into chapter 6. Not trying to do an in-depth study of all of these verses. So we're going to kind of be skimming over a few parts. But to get the sense of walking circumspectly in these different contexts that Paul is addressing here. And so the first thing that we'll consider is the subject of marriage. Now verses 22 through 33 all deal with this subject of marriage.

There he instructs wives. I'll just read a couple of verses here. Verse 22, wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife as also Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so that the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Verse 25, husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her.

Verse 1.

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ and the church. And then finally, verse 33. Nevertheless, let each of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Here in this famous passage about marriage, Paul, he intertwines doctrine and application. The doctrine of Jesus and the church. This is some incredible truths here about Jesus' love for the church and the way that the church is called to

be submitted to the Lord, well, that is also a beautiful picture of the ideal, the way that God has designed it to be with a husband and wife. Now, we covered this a little bit a couple weeks ago, and we may come back and revisit this a little bit more, but

For now, I'm just going to kind of summarize it by jumping to verse 33 there and looking at, first of all, the role of the husband. And here's the way I'll put it for point number one this evening. I will love my wife every day. If I'm going to walk wisely in my daily relationships, for me as a husband, that means, well, I'm going to choose to love my wife every day.

Paul says in verse 33, nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself. Here he's highlighting the reality. The application that Paul gives here in chapters 4, 5, and 6 is all based on the reality of who we are. And so he says, love your wife as yourself because here's the reality. Your wife is you.

And he quotes that here. You can see that quotation of Genesis chapter 2, that the two shall become one flesh. There is a real, maybe not fully understood by us, perhaps mysterious in some ways, but there is a real union of husband and wife that God has declared and established. And because the husband and the wife are one, he says, well, when you love your wife, you love yourself.

You are, one, you are united and to love your wife is, well, it's part of taking care of yourself. It's kind of like if you don't love your wife, it's like letting some part of your body go, right? Letting it deteriorate, letting it fall apart, letting, you're neglecting your own self when you neglect to love your wife.

This word love, of course, is the word agape, the highest form of love that we can find in the scriptures, in the Greek language, that it's this perfect love. It's this self-sacrificing love. I like to summarize this idea, this word love, with the idea that it's doing what is best for someone. And so to love my wife is for me to always have my wife's best interests at heart.

To not be putting my needs or my desires or what I want ahead of everything else, but to always have what's best for her in mind. And so every decision, every conversation, every activity, everything that I'm involved in needs to include what's the benefit, long-term, eternal value of this in her life. To walk circumspectly. If I'm going to be wise in the way that I behave...

Well, I will love my wife every day because we are one flesh. We are united together. Just as we are members of the body of Christ and we are united together in that spiritual side of things, husband and wife, you are united together. And so husbands, love your wife. It's the way to walk circumspectly. Again, these daily interactions can be difficult because sometimes

Well, it requires that we really be in the right place on a daily basis, having a right heart on a daily basis, and be pursuing the heart of God on a daily basis. There's no one who can love their wife who is not loving the Lord. It requires for us to really live out all that we are in Christ in Ephesians chapters 1, 2, and 3 to love our wives as Christ has loved the church.

It requires for us to truly be seeking the Lord and walking with him, to walk circumspectly. This is no lightweight thing. This is no easy thing. And that's why earlier in chapter 5, Paul says we need to be filled with the Spirit. Don't be drunk with wine. Don't fill your life and your mind and your heart with distractions. Don't allow yourself to be altered in that way. But instead, be filled with the Spirit. You need...

You need all of the spirit that you can receive, that you can get, so that you can walk circumspectly. Because every day, your day is filled with interactions. Your day is filled with decisions that impact your spouse. Walk circumspectly. And that means husbands, love your wife. Again, this idea of circumspectly, it's getting the full picture. Sometimes we walk and we're short-sighted.

We're making decisions based on short-term things, based on a limited understanding, and it maybe seems beneficial with that limited perspective. Maybe it seems beneficial for her. Maybe it seems beneficial for me, but there's this limited, but when I have the full picture, husband, when you remember that you will stand before God and give an account for how well you walked circumspectly, how well you loved your wife,

It paints a different picture for us. It reminds us of the responsibility and the reality that God has given to us. Redeem the time. Make the most of the time that God has given you. Oftentimes what happens in a husband and wife relationship is one is waiting for the other to start doing their part so that then I can start doing my part, right? That's unwise.

Paul says, don't be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. The will of the Lord is not for you to wait for the other one to be faithful before you start being faithful. God's will for you is for you to start being faithful now. That's the wise thing to do. It's best for you and it's best for your wife. That is the will of God for you. As we began this whole series working through the letters of the Apostle Paul,

the foundations for Christian living, we began by looking at the parable of Jesus in Luke chapter 6. Remember the wise and the foolish builder? And Jesus says, look, the one who hears what I say and puts it into practice, he's like the wise man who builds his house on the rock, digs down deep, has a foundation, builds a house, and the storm comes, but it's not moved because it's founded upon the rock. But the foolish person hears the words of the Lord, that's an important thing to note, and doesn't do them.

Now, it's not that they don't hear the words of the Lord at all. The foolish person knows the will of the Lord and then doesn't do anything about it. And that's like building on the sand. And Jesus said the storm comes and hits that house as well. And that house is demolished because it had no foundation. Listen, here as we talk about walking circumspectly, understanding what the will of the Lord is, Paul says in Ephesians 5, we're learning what the will of the Lord is. We're learning what he says, right?

And so now there's a responsibility upon us. What kind of house are we going to build? Husband, will you start to love your wife? Does Christ love the church daily? Not, you know, once in a while, not occasionally, not on your anniversary once a year, you know, but will you put her best interests above all else on an ongoing, on a daily, a regular basis? Well, continuing to consider the subject of marriage, we're going to move on to consider the role of the wife.

And what is the Lord's will for her? Well, point number two this evening is I will respect my husband every day. Now, obviously, I don't have a husband, but I word it this way as part of, you know, response to what the Lord, the way that the Lord has put these things upon my heart. And that is for us to be able to grasp hold of them and then begin to live them out. I will respect my husband every day. Wives,

This should be the state and the condition of your heart. This is how you walk circumspectly in your daily relationships. Again, verse 33. Let the wife see that she respects her husband.

And perhaps some wives are saying, whew, I like that word respect. It's so much better than the word submit in verse 22. Thank you, Jerry, for using respect instead of submit. That's so much easier, so much better, right? Maybe it sounds better. Maybe it's like a little bit more pleasing to the ears, but it's the same thing. You cannot respect without submitting. Let the wife see that she respects her husband. Paul's not saying something different.

He's summarizing the whole point of what he wrote in verses 22 through 32. Husband, love your wife. Wife, submit to, respect your husband. Now, if you think, well, respect is such a better word than submit, you know, it's so much better. Actually, you should spend a little bit of time and do some research into this word respect. It literally means to fear God.

In the same way that we are to fear the Lord, wife, you are to fear your husband. Now, not in the sense of, you know, violence, okay? That kind of fear, that's not appropriate in the marriage relationship at all. But that reverence for the Lord, wives, that's the kind of reverence that you're to have for your husband. Your respect for the Lord, that's the kind of respect that you're to have for your husband. The way you submit to the Lord, the way the church submits to the Lord, that's

That's the way that wives are submit to their husbands. Now, again, all of this is based on what we are, who we are in Christ. And the thing that Paul establishes there in verses 22 through 32 is that the husband is the head of the church. And so wife, respect your husband because he is your head, not he should be your head. Or at such time as he becomes the head...

And sometimes at such time as he becomes worthy, you know, then respect your husband. No, no. The teaching is clear. Just as Jesus is the head of the church, the husband is the head of the wife.

A lot of times we would maybe verbalize it this way. The husband is called to be the leader of the home, right? And while that is true, he is called to be the leader of the home. That kind of leaves room in our minds to say, okay, he's called to be the leader, but he's not. So, you know, then there's this alternate, you know, route that I can take and I don't have to behave this way because he's not doing what he's called to do. But that's not what God is presenting here.

Even if the husband is not living up to all that he could be or should be. Even when he is not fulfilling his role completely or even partially. The husband is the head. That's the spiritual reality. That's the truth. And so, wives, respect your husband every day. Because he is the head. God has established that. He's placed him there. That is his role today.

whether he lives up to your understanding and your perspective of that or not. He is the head. And so to walk circumspectly in the daily relationships, obviously this can be quite tough, right? Husbands, love your wife and make that decision every day. I will love my wife today. I will put her first. I will put her needs first. I will put her benefit first. That's going to be the first priority.

And wife, you make the decision. I will respect my husband today. I will submit to my husband. I will revere. He is the head. She is part of your body. Love. Respect. Again, these daily interactions oftentimes are where we can be at our worst. And sometimes, wife, you will give others around you so much more respect than you give your own husband.

And sometimes, husbands, you're so much more compassionate and caring and gentle with every random stranger. And then you come home and you're careless and you're not paying attention and you're callous and maybe even cruel. It's completely backwards from what God has called you to. Again, one of those is a fake. And God has called you to be genuine. If you're faking it outside the home, there's no value there. There's no rewards for that.

it's in these daily interactions where our true character is shown, where we're most familiar, where we're most comfortable. That's when the reality of who we are. And let that be for you an indication of, well, how much I need God to work in my life because I am so much better in that context than I am in this context. Well, it's so much easier for me to walk this way over there than it is for me to walk that way over here.

When there is that disconnect, those differences, it indicates not, well, if it was so much easier here, then everything would be great. No, no, no. It indicates that the reality is I'm faking it in one of those places. And it shows where my heart is really at. It shows how much I'm accepting and receiving and living according to the identity that God has given to me and how much I'm receiving and living according to a different identity. Let it bring you back to the place where

of calling out to the Lord for help to be the man or woman that he has called you to be. Don't be unwise, waiting for the other to be faithful before you begin to be faithful. If you're not submitted to your husband, you're short-sighted. You're not seeing the whole picture. You're not recognizing that he is the head. If you're not loving your wife, you're short-sighted. You're not understanding. That's you that you're neglecting. Oh, there's so much, so many areas and so many ways we need to be

alert and attentive, circumspect. It's having a diligent understanding of all that's going on around us in our marriages, husbands and wives. We need that. Love your wife. Respect your husband. I'll finish up that topic of marriage with this quote from Albert Barnes. He says,

But it was the corresponding duty of the husband to manifest such a character that it would be pleasant to yield obedience. To love your wife, to present and to be such a character that, oh, it's easy to respect. This is the way that God has called us to interact with each other. It's daily, and that's what makes it hard. If you only had to do it one time a year on your anniversary, you know, it wouldn't be a problem.

But it's the issue of our heart, the corruption of our hearts and the need for God to change us that is revealed in how we fail to love and respect every day. Well, moving on to chapter six now, we'll continue on to look at some other relationships. Chapter six, verses one through three, we get point number three. I will obey my parents every day. Verse one says, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

So here we have some instruction for children. So continuing to consider the home, how do we walk circumspectly? Well, Paul says, here's what kids are to do.

Now, I don't think most of you are your kids in the sense that you, you know, have had parents, but being a kid, a child in the home under 18, you know, is kind of different than being a child later on in life. And so for those who are minors is kind of the idea here. You are to obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. The word obey, it means to yield to a superior command, even if you're not willing. Okay.

This is what God instructs the children of a home to do. They are to obey even if they don't want to. That's what it means to walk circumspectly as a child. Now, he does say in the Lord, obey your parents in the Lord, which adds some necessary insights for us for those situations where the parent is instructing or commanding or requiring something that would violate the

what God has said. And so in that case, then, well, there's some wisdom that needs to be sought from the Lord about how to handle that situation. But the requirement to obey is not to obey your parents above the Lord, but in the Lord.

And so as long as those things are in line with what the Lord has revealed in his word, then whether you like it or not, whether you prefer it or not, whether you would wish something else, obedience is the rightful thing for a child to do in that context. I will obey my parents every day. Now this comes from the command in Exodus chapter 20 to honor your father and mother. And so outside of, you know, you go from

minor, to become an adult. And then the obedience part of this equation changes a little bit. You never are then free to not honor your father and mother, right? That's not, okay, now you can just disrespect them, kick them to the curb, you know, that kind of thing. No, but you also, well, you're becoming an adult or you've become an adult. And so now you don't have to obey in a similar way. Like if you quit your job and then go work somewhere else, you

you don't have to obey your old boss, right? Like that relationship, the connection, the honor, the respect, that might still be appropriate and necessary, but the direct obedience, it changes from being a minor to becoming an adult. And so there's some room for the Lord to lead in those things. But overall, children in the home walk circumspectly by choosing to obey their parents every day.

And a child that does not obey their parent is a child that is not understanding the full picture. They're short-sighted. And maybe you're not a child, but maybe you are a parent. And let this kind of help you understand and process what needs to take place when a child is not being obedient. That there is the lack of understanding of the Lord's will. Here's the Lord's will for you children. Obey your parents. And so when a child is not obeying the parent...

Well, there's some lack of understanding. There's not the full picture. There is not the circumspect understanding. There's not the redeeming of the time. It's unwise. It's foolish. There's some great lessons to be taught about foolishness. Work your way through the Proverbs. How you deal with foolishness is important to understand. I'll let you get into that.

on your own. So I will obey my parents every day. Now, verse four gives us point number four, continuing to look at this context of the home and walking circumspectly. Verse four gives us point four. I will disciple my children every day. In verse four, it says, and you fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in training and admonition of the Lord. And so here Paul addresses the fathers, right?

But I would kind of just like throw in a little side note and say, well, does he really mean just the dads? In verse one through three, he's talking about children obeying not just your dad, right? But your parents. Here, he uses the word fathers, which can speak directly of dads only, but it can also be used of parents collectively. So not just fathers, but fathers.

Well, mom and dad. We see this take place in Hebrews chapter 11, verse 23. It says, That word parents, it's the same word fathers here in Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4. So I would suggest that Paul is probably not just addressing the fathers or not saying, okay,

Moms, you can provoke your children to wrath. That's okay. But just, it's not okay for dads to do it, right? That's not what Paul is saying here. This instruction applies to both parents. And so parents, here's how you walk wisely in the home when that includes your children. And that is, well, you choose to disciple. That you do not provoke to wrath. That word provoke, it means to exasperate, to bring to anger anger.

Now you can do that. There's a variety of suggestions about how that can be done. I'm not intending to try to figure out, you know, or kind of teach on every aspect of that. But provoking your children to wrath, Paul says, don't do that. Don't needlessly stir them up. Don't needlessly give them that disposition. Don't needlessly, don't put them in that state, provoking them to wrath. That's not wise. That's not wise.

And maybe it's fun. Maybe it's neglect. Maybe it's carelessness. Maybe it's a variety of reasons. When you're provoking your child to wrath, when you're stirring them up within like that, there's a foolishness there. There's a lack of understanding of the full picture. And you're not understanding that, well, your job, your role is to disciple your children. Don't provoke them to wrath.

Adam Clark says this, he says, parents are called to correct, not to punish their children. Those who punish them do it from a principle of revenge. Those who correct them do it from a principle of affectionate concern.

There's some differences to parse here. And maybe it's not the exact wording that matters here because maybe you understand the idea of punishment in the way that he's talking about correction or vice versa, right? But the point is there's a difference here.

in how you respond, and even how you correct or how you punish, because, well, it's based on some different principles, and whether it's paying back, and I'm going to make you suffer for what you did, or if it's, I need to teach you, and yes, just like the Lord disciplines us, Hebrews chapter 12, there is that need for discipline to help shape and mold, but it's not

to make suffer. It's not, you know, with that agenda, with that objective. Do not provoke your children to wrath. Discipline them, correct them, but you need to have their best interests at heart. He says, instead, bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. And this is why I use the word disciple here in the point. Train your children, but not in your ways. Teach your children, but not teaching them what you think or what you want.

Not helping them to accomplish your career goals for them or your scholastic goals for them or your sports goals for them or whatever, but you are to teach them and train them in the teaching and admonition of the Lord. Not your own, but what the Lord says generally that we can find in his word, but then also specifically, what does God want in that relationship and how does God want you to instruct and teach and build up

I think the word disciple fits really nicely in this context. Here's the Lord's will for you, parents. God wants you to disciple your children, to teach them the ways of the Lord. H.A. Ironside puts it this way, parents are to set an example of what a Christian should really be, ministering the word of God to their children, praying with them, and walking before them consistently in the fear of the Lord. One of the ways disciples

that you are to train them and admonish them in the ways of the Lord is by simply being the example and living it out. And again, here's where those daily relationships really become important because if at home you're, you know, a mess and you're throwing fits and your flesh is unchecked and you're unrestrained and uncontrolled and that's the example that you're setting, that's the teaching and the admonition that you're giving and it's not the teaching and admonition of the Lord. You're not...

discipling very well. You're discipling in the wrong things by your example. And what the Lord calls parents to do is to show them, here's how you pray through these kinds of situations. Here's how you work through and trust in these different contexts and situations. Teach them and train them. If you don't, you're short-sighted. You're not walking circumspectly. You're not wise. You're being foolish if you're not discipling your children in the ways of the Lord.

Moving on to verses 5 through 8, now we're going to move beyond the home and look at the workplace. Here in verses 5 through 9, Paul addresses bond servants and slaves, which is a little bit different than our context and culture, but it relates to the relationships between employee and employer. And so verses 5 through 8, we get the employee relationship. And here, point number 5 is, I will sincerely serve my boss every day.

This is the place where we need to come. In my daily relationship, walking circumspectly, I need to choose to serve my boss every day. Verse five says, bond servants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling and sincerity of heart as to Christ. Not with eye service as men pleasers, but as bond servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart, with goodwill doing service as to the Lord and not to men.

knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is slave or free. So Paul here addresses bond servants, or we can substitute employees. Be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh. The flesh is not your sinful nature here. That's not what Paul is addressing. He's saying, look, in your human life, you have human authorities. You have authorities over you in the workplace. You have authorities over you in different contexts. And your authority

walking wisely in those situations is, well, it's done by being obedient, by taking what is given, by taking what is instructed, and then actually doing it in sincerity of heart. So again, not faking it. God wants you to be genuine and to actually obey, not to pretend like you're going to obey, not to pretend like you are obeying, but sincerely obeying.

To really put into practice what you are instructed in the context of the workplace or those human authority arenas, wherever they might be. And he goes on to say in verse 6, not with eye service as men pleasers. So, you know, Paul's pretty familiar with how our mind works, right? We will often be obedient when observation is happening. But boss leaves the room, right?

Okay, now I can slack off. Now I can do something different. Now I can do it my way because my way is better. You know, all of those things that go through our minds and that we wrestle with, Paul says, no, don't be like that. With eye service as men pleasers, like just doing in front of them, but instead as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart. Takes us back to 515 of Ephesians. Do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Here's the Lord's will for you, employee. The Lord's will for you is to be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh.

Completely, like really, without them looking, without them watching. Now, this, like children obeying the Lord, or being parents in the Lord, right? There is this doing the will of God. So if there is a conflict between instruction given by a boss with the things that the Lord has said, well, then we honor the Lord. We obey the Lord rather than man. But generally speaking, for our daily interactions, for those daily situations, the wise thing to do is to be obedient. Right?

To put into practice and to do sincerely the work that we are instructed to do. Pastor Charles Spurgeon says, grace makes us the servants of God while we are still the servants of men. It enables us to do the business of heaven while we're attending to the business of earth. It sanctifies the common duties of life by showing us how to perform them in the light of heaven. You know, sometimes we make a distinction, you know, I'm at work and so I'm just doing work and I can't wait till I get off work so I can do the work of God and

The scriptures teach, here Spurgeon is reminding us, no, no, you doing your work is the work of God and it's the will of God. And so do it as unto the Lord, as bondservants of Christ, to the best of your ability, because you are serving the Lord. He goes on in verse seven to say, with goodwill doing service as to the Lord and not to men. And then he says, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is slave or free.

There he kind of eliminates that, well, I'm not going to give my best because they don't pay me, you know, to give my best. They only pay me to like work half-heartedly. If they paid me more, then I would give my best. And Paul eliminates all those excuses and said, no, trust that God will reward you for your work. He's the one you're really serving. So give it your best, serve the Lord, and know that whatever good you do, you will receive the same from the Lord. You will be rewarded.

According to how well you worked, how well you served the Lord, whether you were compensated by, you know, that particular boss or in some other means, God's going to make sure you're taken care of. You serve him every day. He's kind of chosen to be a physical, to give you a physical manifestation of the presence of God in your supervisor. There you go. You wanted to see the Lord? There he is. There she is. Obey. Give it your best.

And work hard. I will sincerely serve my boss every day. Well, finally, point number six to finish up the night.

I will do good to my employees every day. So from the other side of it, those who are masters, employers, verse seven through nine, I'm backing up a little bit because he connects the two thoughts. In verse seven, he says, and with goodwill doing service as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. And you masters do the same things to them.

giving up threatening, knowing that your own master also is in heaven and there is no partiality with him. So he speaks to the employees or the bondservants and then he flips it around and says, okay, in the same way, look, just as they're serving the Lord by serving you, masters, you're serving the Lord too and you're relating to the Lord in the way that you relate to them. And your treatment of them is your treatment of the Lord. And so in the same way, give up threatening, give up that harsh treatment, give up that

Knowing that your master, the way that you treat is the way that you will be treated. There's no partiality with him. He's not going to be like, oh, you know, I'm going to hold that because you are wealthy. No, no. The way that you treat those who have been committed to your authority, well, you're going to be accountable for that. And God's going to address you and deal with you according to the way that you treated those that were entrusted to you. And so when you're harsh with those that are under your authority, you're short-sighted.

When you fly off the handle, you're not redeeming the time. Again, maybe there's the place for correction and instruction, but you need to be careful that it's done in the ways of the Lord and in the wisdom of the Lord. The will of God for you is to do the same things. Serve them as if you're serving the Lord, because you are. Look out for their needs. I will walk wisely in my daily relationships.

This is what God calls us to. It's really challenging because it's in the familiarity of these daily relationships that we often kind of like let things go and kind of just give up in some ways. It's hard. But listen, go back and remember who you are in Christ and what God has provided for you. You have everything that you need to live out in a way that is wise. And I think it's interesting, and I'll finish with this thought.

As you look at all these different relationships that Paul addressed here, every single one of them, Paul says there's a connection between that relationship and your relationship with the Lord. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church. Wives, submit to your husbands as the Lord. Children, obey your parents in the Lord. And so on and so forth, right? Each one of them, every relationship, these daily relationships, these daily interactions that you have, every relationship is

is a reflection of your relationship with the Lord. If you're an unsubmitted wife, you're an unsubmitted Christian. If you're an unloving husband, you're an unloving Christian. If you're unrestrained as a parent, you're unrestrained as a Christian. If you're unsubmitted as an employee, you're an unsubmitted Christian. If you're an unfair master, you're an unaccountable Christian. Every relationship that you have reflects your relationship with the Lord.

And let it be that to you. So that when I see myself unloving, the objective then is not, okay, that's right, I've got to pretend to be loving better. No, then I need to recognize, Lord, I'm messed up in my relationship with you. And that's shown in the way that I'm relating to this person. Lord, correct my heart. Lord, forgive me. Help me to walk with you the way that you've called me to you.

And these failures in our daily relationships should drive us back to our need for God and our call for God to transform us and change us, that we might truly reflect him in a way that honors him in the relationships that we have every day. Let's pray. God, I pray for each one of us.

And Lord, we do fail in all of these relationships in a regular and consistent way. And it's because you're not finished with us and we need much more of you, your nature and your character in us. And so Lord, I pray that you would allow these truths to drive us back to you. Lord, would you change us?

Would you help us to remember and realize who we are in you and all that you've provided for us? And Lord, may we walk then according to that, relying upon you, empowered by your Holy Spirit. Lord, would you help us to walk circumspectly in every relationship, in every day, doing our best and making the most of the time. Lord, because the days are short, the days are evil, and we need to represent you well.

to the best of our ability. So help us, God, to be wise. Help us to understand your will and then to live it out. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.