JOB 16:1-5 LETS BECOME BETTER COMFORTERS2019 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: Job 16:1-5 Lets Become Better Comforters

You are listening to FerventWord, an online Bible study ministry with teachings and tools to help you grow deeper in your relationship with God. The following message was taught by Jerry Simmons in 2019. Here in Job chapter 16, we find ourselves pretty much right in the middle of the conversation that is taking place between Job and his friends.

The friends of Job came to him initially to help him, to bring comfort to him. And as they sat with Job for a while and began this dialogue, each friend is taking their turn and speaking and sharing their thoughts with Job. And then Job is responding and they're kind of going back and forth around through the circle, right? And now in Job chapter 16, we're starting round two.

Each friend has spoken once and now they're starting to speak again and they're going to go another loop through the circle and begin to share what's on their hearts and what they're thinking. And in total, it's about 35 chapters of dialogue between Job and his friends.

And the noteworthy thing to consider as you think about that, 35 chapters of this discussion that takes place and not one bit of comfort is offered to Job. Lots of discussion, lots of talking, going round and round and round, but no real comfort is offered to Job.

And this is really important for us to consider and think about because, well, there is a need for comfort today just as much as there was in Job's day. There's a lot of people who are hurting and suffering. And I would suggest to you this, that too many of Job's friends come to church.

That there's a lot of people who are suffering and hurting and they come to believers, they come to church perhaps, and what they find is a similar experience to what Job found, and that there's a lot of discussion, there's a lot of conversation, there's a round and round and round perhaps, but no real comfort.

And no real healing and help and resolving of the things that are happening within the heart of the one who is hurting. And so this morning, I want to encourage you to join with me. I want to encourage us collectively. Let's become better comforters. I really believe this is a need for us as believers in Jesus.

As those who would gather together, as those who would, you know, be here and gather together and say, come, you know, those who are hurting and those who are in need and we want to love on people and share the love of Christ with people, I would suggest to you it's appropriate for us to put some effort in, to put some thought in, to put some prayer into this idea of we need to become better at providing comfort.

I could share some stories, but I won't. But I could share some stories about things that people have said in attempting to or pretending to provide comfort to people who are hurting within the church. So, you know, you don't have to go to, you know, some horrible place to find bad comfort, but

But it can so easily flow out of each one of us. And as we look at these things this morning, I don't share this with you as one who is the expert in comfort, right? I'm not that. And so I'm in the mix here saying, let's become better comforters. This is something that is a need, a weakness, and it's a need to be a better comforter.

And we should be working to develop it. Now, if you want to speak to the expert in comfort, Pastor George is over in the corner. You can talk to him after service and get all the great details on how to really do it for real. But we all need to work and put some effort in to comfort. Because here's the thing to think about Job's friend. They intended to bring comfort to Job.

They didn't start out saying, you know what? We should go really make Job more miserable. That wasn't their objective, right? They had great intentions. It tells us in Job chapter 2 verse 11 about the purpose for them coming. In Job chapter 2, the friends hear about the adversity that Job has experienced. And it names these three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar. And it says, make an appointment together to come and mourn with him and to comfort him.

And so they know what Job is going through. They heard about the calamity that has struck him. And they do really well. They make an appointment. Hey, our friend Job is suffering and hurting. We need to make time for him. Let's go spend time with him. They make an appointment. They gather together. I mean, really great beginning here with Job's friends. And their intention, their purpose is to mourn with Job.

and to comfort Job. Really appropriate for them to do. And they, for seven days, sit with Job in silence, mourning with Job. And then they try to comfort him. And that's where it all begins to fall apart. And the friends of Job actually provide no comfort at all. So much so, here in chapter 16, verse 2, Job calls them miserable comforters. Miserable comforters are you all. Have you ever said that to anybody?

Have you ever wanted to say that to anybody? I think we'd all raise our hands for that one, right? Yeah. We have been on the receiving end of poor attempts at comfort. From Job's friend's perspective, they meant well. They wanted to comfort. They intended to comfort. But the reality is that great intentions, well, they don't always bring about the result that we intend.

And we can intend to bring comfort. We can, well, I'm saying these things because I love you and I want what's best for you. And we can speak intending to, hoping to bring comfort and help while at the same time, that's not what actually happens. In fact, when Job's friends are speaking, it's so bad, you can just generally say this. Anytime that Job's friends are speaking throughout the book of Job, you can just accept that it is false.

What they're saying is not true. What they're saying is not right. God rebukes them at the end of the book of Job. In Job chapter 42, he rebukes the friends and he says, you guys need to repent and humble yourselves and come ask Job to pray for you because otherwise I'm going to bring judgment on you for the things that you've said because you have so misrepresented me. And so they intended to bring comfort, but they ended up not doing that at all. In fact, making things worse.

And that's important to consider because, of course, we're not trying to hurt people. Well, maybe you are on some days, but for the most part, we're not. We intend to comfort. We want to help those who are hurting, right? But just because we intend it doesn't mean that our attempts are successful. In fact, sometimes our attempts might make things worse if we are not able to bring comfort in a way that honors the Lord and represents Him.

The commentator Francis Anderson says it this way, at this point, Job's trial enters a new phase, the most trying of all. Instead of helping, the words of his wife and his friends cause him more pain and put him under more pressure than all the other things that have happened to him so far. Boy, I would not want to be in a place where this is accurate of me. You're going through suffering, you're going through affliction, you're hurting, and I show up, and instead of providing help,

My presence, my words become a greater part of the trial than what you faced originally. This is what happened when Job's friends showed up. But they meant well. They had great intentions. And it's why we need to think about and pray about and ask God to help us to become better comforters. We should be great at comforting. This should be a place of great comfort. And many times it is not.

And so let's consider this, looking at these words from Job to his friends and learning from their example what not to do, but also considering what can we do in the midst of this kind of situation. The first point we'll see, we're going to stay in verse 2 here for point number 1, and that is miserable comforters speak carelessly. Miserable comforters, that's what Job calls his friends. Here's a

classic way to be a miserable comforter. That is to speak carelessly, to not put much thought or effort into what you say. In verse 2, Job says this, Again, by this time, they're on round two. It's the first guy has spoken for the second time and

Job responds and says, you know what? You guys keep saying the same things over and over again. I have heard these things many times. Now,

Job's friends had lots of issues. One of them was that they were convinced that Job had some secret sin or some issue that had caused God to bring this calamity into his life as a matter of judgment. And so over and over and over again, they've been hitting that same chord from different perspectives, hitting that same note from different perspectives and trying to convince Job that he is in sin and needs to repent. We know that's not true from what God reveals in the first two chapters, but we know that

This is what they think. And over and over and over again, they're running through their reason, their logic, their rationale. And Job says, I've heard many such things.

Anybody can say those things that you're saying. Lots of people have said those things that you're saying. You've said those same things multiple times and many times he is telling to them. The words that they are sharing are careless in a variety of different ways. The first important way to consider is that they were speaking bad doctrine. Their understanding of God and the way that God works was completely off. They were telling Job that innocent people don't perish. They were telling Job that innocent people don't perish.

That was one of the points that they were seeking to make. And it is a point that is not good doctrine. It's bad theology. Innocent people do perish. I think a good challenge of doctrine and thoughts and things as you wrestle through these things is just think about Jesus. Jesus was innocent and died upon the cross, right? Innocent people don't perish is what they said, but we don't find that to be true in this life.

In an eternal perspective, you know, a bigger scope, well, we can see these kinds of things really unfold in a real way. But in this life, people who don't deserve to die sometimes die. Innocent people do perish. Another message that they gave to Job was, God would not let this happen to a good man. You're a good person, Job, or at least we thought you were. But obviously you're not because this has all happened to you. And God would not let this happen to you if you were good. You're suffering because you're not good.

God would protect good people from experiencing. His children would not experience these kinds of events. It's bad doctrine. It's nonsense. They're speaking carelessly because they don't know. They don't really know what God is like. Another thing that they tried to convince Job of is that everything would be better if you would just repent. Because of course, they're convinced that he's in sin. So if you repent, all your problems go away is their message.

But that's not reality. That's not the truth. In this life, we will still face difficulties and we do need to repent and come and get right with God and walk with the Lord. But that doesn't mean that we have no problems and have no struggles and have no issues and have no pains and hurts. They spoke carelessly because they continued to pour out this bad doctrine, this nonsense from their mouths.

But I think another aspect of this and some of this they express and some of this we see and are familiar with as well is that to speak carelessly sometimes is just letting those cliches, those easy things to say come out of our mouths. Hey, everything's going to work out. It's easy for us to say that to someone who is hurting and suffering. Everything's going to work out. It's all going to turn out for good. And we can even attach a Bible verse to it, right? And

Sometimes, inspired by the Lord, that message, that scripture, that verse, that can bring great comfort and hope and healing. But with a careless heart and attitude, it can also be incredibly offensive and more hurtful to just say, hey, stop crying about it. Everything's going to be fine. God promised us it's all going to work out for good. So just get over it already.

And there can be a carelessness that we use and approach even the truth, even good doctrine, and apply it in a way that is hurtful. Another easy thing to do, sometimes happens, is comparing one pain to another pain. That is, you know, I see you're hurting. It must be pretty hard. But you know, my uncle, he went through this situation and he had it a lot worse. And so, you know, you kind of should be thankful that it's not as bad as it could be.

That sentiment is shared many times. In fact, it's even shared in the book of Job. In Job chapter 11, one of Job's friends says, hey, know this, God exacts from you less than your iniquity deserves. Don't you feel so much better now? Aren't you comforted? You know, that you deserve hell. You should just be thanking God that you're only suffering as much as you are and you're not in hell right now. That is not a careful thing to say. It's a careless thing to say.

Perhaps you're a little bit analytical, and sometimes I can approach things from an analytical perspective. It's just, you know, let's do the math. You had two kids, you lost one, but you still have one to be thankful for. The math still, it's better than zero, right? We can be careless. Something else I have to watch out for is to be careful not to make a joke like I just did.

in times of difficulty and great stress, whether it be mine or somebody else's, man, I think of the best jokes. Like, you would laugh so hard. I have to be careful. Pastor Cisco can testify, right? I mean, Cisco, I've whispered to Cisco some of the best jokes he's ever heard in his whole life in funeral services. You know, like, it just, it's how I relieve stress internally. You know, it's how I process and handle things internally. And so I have to be careful, not careless. And

Because that can, of course, become very hurtful and offensive in the wrong context and perspective. Miserable comforters speak carelessly. We just let those things out. Whether it be bad doctrine, whether it be, you know, just an easy thing to say or, you know, a cliche that we're just, you know, trying to reach for something without, there's not much thought into it. Trying to relieve the pressure in some way that is not appropriate enough.

Miserable comforters speak carelessly. The commentator Joseph Benson says this, compassion should restrain or govern my lips, namely that they should avoid all speeches that might vex you and speak only what might be to your comfort and benefit. A time that a person is hurting, a time that a person is in need of comfort, we need to have a guard over our lips, a restraint, a governing of our lips more than usual.

And compassion should cause us to have that kind of concern about the things that we say so that we avoid the things that may vex you, the things that may hurt you further, that may add to your pain. And instead, we're careful to speak what helps, what ministers to a need. Perhaps it would help to think about it this way. If you walk into service and you've just had back surgery,

You're recovering and I come up to you and I embrace you and I give you a big bear hug. That would be a bad thing to do, right? You would agree.

When you're approaching someone who is recovering from surgery or had some kind of injury, then you need to kind of be conscious about, okay, I'm going to be gentle. We want to hug, but let's be careful about how we do it, strategic about how we do it. Now, hey, you're not injured. You're just, you know, it's a regular day. Yeah, grab Cisco, bear hug him and shake him around. You know, no problem. But in the time of injury,

No, you are careful about that contact. And you're strategic about it. In a similar way, sometimes we're careless with our words and it's not that big of a deal because, well, the person's healthy as we're having the conversation. It's not too critical. But when someone's hurting and the wound is exposed, that's not the time to be careless and just let things just fly out of your mouth. But especially in that time, we need to...

Be guarded and careful about the things that we say. Now, as we look at these examples of Job's friends, I don't want to just focus on and just dwell on, you know, they were miserable. Let's not do that. But what can we do in place of that? So instead of being a miserable comforter speaking carelessly, what can we do? Well, I would encourage us this morning, let's speak what we receive from God. Here's how to not speak carelessly. Let's speak...

The things that we receive from the Lord with those who are hurting and in need of comfort. Not just saying whatever's on our mind, not just saying whatever we think, not just saying, you know, what our cousin experienced, not just talking without much thought or prayer, but instead seeking to receive from the Lord that we might bring the comfort of the Lord to those who are hurting. We see Paul discuss this in 2 Corinthians 1.

He says in verse 3 and 4, Notice, God is the God of all comfort. If there is anybody who is hurting, if there is anybody who is suffering, if there is anybody who needs to be ministered to in that way, God is the God of all comfort. He is the one who is able to comfort.

He is the one who desires to comfort. He is the one who wants to bring that comfort. Now, many times God will choose to use his people as his agents to bring that comfort. And so it's not that, hey, well, God's the God of all comfort. You just go talk to him and, you know, I'll stay out of it. That's true that individually, personally, God will comfort us. But also many times he does that in a way that we are then enabled and empowered to

To minister to others who are hurting. And that's what Paul goes on to say in verse 4 of 2 Corinthians 1. So he's the God of all comfort who comforts us in our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God. You see what Paul says there? We are comforted by God in the distress that we're in.

And we are comforted by God so that we are then able to comfort those, he says, who are in any trouble. So we don't have to just be in the exact situation that somebody else is in to bring the comfort. But we've been in our tribulations. We've received comfort from God.

And God many times can use that to enable us to go to someone who is hurting in a different trouble or any trouble and administer that same kind of comfort that we have received from the Lord. And so miserable comforters speak carelessly, but let's not do that. Let's not be that way. Let's become better comforters and speak what we receive from the Lord. Now, you might be wondering, and it kind of begs the question, well, what if I haven't heard anything from the Lord?

What if I don't have any insight from God to speak in this situation? Well, that brings us now to point number two, found in verse three. Here's point number two. Miserable comforters cannot stay silent. Miserable comforters can't stay silent. Sometimes, hey, you don't have something that you know is from the Lord. You don't have some comfort from the Lord to share. Then you should probably just be quiet.

But if you're a miserable comforter, you can't be settled with that. For some reason, you can't stay silent. And that's what Job is expressing here in verse 3. He says, Shall words of wind have an end? Or what provokes you that you answer? Shall words of wind have an end? He says, look, you guys, there's a lot of hot air coming out of you. Is it ever going to stop? When will you run out of breath and finally just be quiet? Because you're talking a lot. I've heard lots of those things.

how long is this going to go on? When will you just stop talking and be quiet? He says, what provokes you that you answer? And the idea is like something is stirring you up so that you're not able to be silent. And maybe you're silent for a few moments, but then you get stirred up again and, oh, I got to say something. We all know what that's like, right? We all know what it's like to be in a conversation and

You're just like waiting for your opportunity. You're stirred up like, I got to say something here. And so maybe you interrupt the person who is speaking. Or maybe you're just like waiting for the break, waiting for that opportunity. Okay, now's my chance. Now, you know, here's my chance to say what I want to say. What provokes you? What stirs you up that you have to say something? Shall words of wind have an end? One thing that may provoke you is selfishness, self-centeredness.

This can happen a lot of times. We speak, we talk because we are uncomfortable with the silence. We're uncomfortable with quietness. It's an awkward moment. We feel awkward. We feel the tension. We feel the awkwardness. And so we try to remove that. So what does Jerry do? He tells a joke. No, no. Sometimes it's better just to be quiet.

And to realize that, you know, sometimes I'm provoked to speak. I want to speak, but it's not so much because I'm wanting to help you. It's I'm seeking comfort for me because I'm uncomfortable with the silence. I'm uncomfortable with the situation, with the tension. And so I try to relieve it for my sake because I don't like how that feels. And we can be very self-centered even in our attempts to bring comfort to people. What provokes you? Why do you talk? Why do you talk?

Why do you speak in those situations? It reminds me of Peter. We always like to give Peter a hard time because he was one who loved to talk. He spoke all the time and many times, you know, he thought afterwards and we tease Peter as the, you know, apostle who always had to take his foot out of his mouth, right?

Well, we see that unfold in the Mount of Transfiguration. When Jesus is there on the mountain and he's transfigured, he's shining brightly and brilliantly and Moses and Elijah are there and they're talking and Peter kind of wakes up with a couple of the other disciples and it tells us in Mark chapter 9 as he records this event, Mark chapter 9 verse 5 and 6, Peter answered and said to Jesus, Rabbi, it is good for us to be here.

Let us make three tabernacles, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah. Verse 6, because he did not know what to say, for they were greatly afraid. Here's what Peter said. Why did Peter say it? Because he didn't know what to say. Now that seems like, hey, this is pretty logical. Look, if you don't know what to say, then don't say it. But what was happening? Peter was greatly afraid. The situation was tense. The emotions were high. He didn't know what to say, but he had to speak.

He's trying to deal with the fear, trying to deal with the stress of the situation and the pressure of what's going on. And so he speaks even though he doesn't know what to say. That's the makings of a miserable comforter. If you speak when you don't know what to say, you need to be careful. You're going to be like Job's friends to those who are hurting. Instead, let's learn to be quiet. Let's learn that it's okay to sometimes not have something to say.

Doesn't mean we never speak. These are not laws, but these are important things to consider that sometimes the best thing you can do is be silent. And maybe that's a literal silence, like you don't even speak a word, or maybe it's a simple answer like, I don't know. As the question is being asked and there's the pressure, I got to give an answer and you don't know what to say. So you say something and it's, you know, bad doctrine. It's nonsense. It's an easy answer. It's careless. It doesn't actually provide hope. No, no, no. Don't do that. It's better to just say silence.

I don't know. Let's learn how to be quiet and not speak the things that we don't know anything about and the things that God is not prompting us to speak. What's provoking you? What is it that's stirring you up to speak? Is it the Lord? Is it the Holy Spirit stirring something within you? Or is it something else? Some other source that's causing you to break the silence with your words?

Job's friends started out pretty good. In Job chapter 2, when they make the appointment, they go mourn with him. And for seven days, they just sit with Job in silence. Starts off great. And then in chapter 3, Job is able to express himself. And he begins, you know, to express the things that he's going through and the things that he is feeling. It's a good thing.

example for us. G. Campbell Morgan puts it this way, silent sympathy always creates an opportunity for grief to express itself. Job's outcry was undoubtedly an answer to their sympathy. So far it was good and they had helped him. That's

Back in chapter 3, G. Campbell Morgan is saying, look, they were silent for seven days and it allowed Job to be in a position where he's processed, he's thought through, he's prayed through, he's wrestled with the things that are happening internally. And then in chapter 3, he's able to begin to express what he's feeling and what he's experiencing. Their silent sympathy created that opportunity for grief to express itself. It's a good thing. It's a healthy thing for grief to be processed in this way.

But many times we're so uncomfortable with the silence. We don't give that opportunity. We don't give that space. We need to give that opportunity. And sometimes silence is more comforting than words. Not every situation is the same. And so there is a need for us to be seeking the Lord about how to comfort because sometimes silence can be hurtful as well. And so there's a balance to these things. But we need to learn to be okay with the silence, to be okay in some situations saying, you know what? I'm just going to be present.

Maybe that involves, you know, a hug or some other type of gesture or, you know, way to express love and sympathy and care without using words. Maybe it involves saying, I don't know, or let's pray about it. Or, you know, some other thing that not in a careless way, but in a way that says, I don't have the answers. I'm not going to try to just fill the air with talking when I don't have something from the Lord to share.

Again, many times we speak because we are uncomfortable and we're comforting ourselves versus comforting the one who is hurting and in need. Miserable comforters cannot stay silent. Let's learn how to be quiet. Moving on to point number three found in verse four. Point number three is miserable comforters express disapproval. Miserable comforters know how to pile on to someone who is hurting and they can bring disapproval, condemnation,

They can be critical of those who are hurting. In verse 4, here's what Job says. Job here says, let's pretend for a moment the roles are reversed. And you're the one suffering and I'm the friend who's here to comfort you. He says, look, it would be easy for me to speak like you're speaking.

It would be easy for me to do what you are doing and heap up words. And notice that picture that Job is painting there. He says, look, here I am suffering and you guys are just like heaping up more on me, heaping up words against me. You're my friends. I thought you were going to be for me. Job here is really kind of expressing this feeling of betrayal. Like you showed up. I thought you were on my side. I thought you were for me, but here you are heaping up words against me.

expressing that betrayal, that loneliness. You've added to my hurt in this way. But not only that, but there is this shaking of the head. He says, you shake, or I could shake my head at you like you're doing to me. This idea of shaking the head, it's an expression, a way of declaring disapproval, expressing criticism. Albert Barnes says,

It says it's an action common to all countries and ages, expressive of contempt or of threatening. And they're just looking at Job saying, Job, I'm so disappointed in you. We thought you were a good man, and here you are. You have some secret sin, and that's why God has brought all this stuff on you. Disapproved, disappointed. There's this expression of their criticism of Job. We don't think you're handling this well, Job. We don't like what you have to say about it.

You're not mourning right. You're not mourning appropriately. There's this criticism that can be expressed in a time of suffering that should not be expressed. Albert Barnes goes on to say, the meaning of Job here is that he could as easily have expressed contempt, reproach, and scorn as they did. It required no uncommon talent to do it. And he felt that he would have been fully sufficient for the task. It doesn't take an extra special spiritual gift to

to express disapproval, to express contempt, to express these kinds of things and shake your head at someone. It's not like some special talent. You know, I know some people are convinced they have the gift of discouragement, but that's not a gift from God. If that is a gift, it's not a gift from God, okay? Job says, it would be easy for me if the roles were switched to behave like you're behaving.

And to point my finger at you and say, oh, what a terrible person you are. Look at what's going on. Look at how you're handling this. To express that disapproval in someone's life. That is easy, but not appropriate. Instead, let's show compassion. I like that word compassion. It speaks of this idea of feeling what somebody else feels. Looking on a situation and like Job is saying here, let's reverse the roles. Like,

What would I feel in those situations? What would I feel in that circumstance? What would that be like? And seeking to understand what somebody is going through, to feel what they feel, to hurt with them. The author of Hebrews tells us that Jesus is the great high priest, the sympathetic high priest, the compassionate high priest, because, well, he experienced the things that we experienced. And so we can approach him with boldness because he,

He knows what it's like to face the hurts and the pains and the struggles that we face. He sets for us a great example. He shows us compassion. If anybody could look at us and shake their head with disapproval, it would be Jesus. But instead, he knows what it's like to struggle, to suffer, to hurt. And so he expresses compassion and shows compassion to us.

Job also remarks about this earlier in the book. In Job 6, verse 14, he says to his friends, to him who is afflicted, kindness should be shown by his friend, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. Job says, okay, you're my friend. I'm afflicted. When you show up, here's what you should do. Show kindness. You guys, you're laying on these words of rebuke and accusing me of all these things.

The role of a friend in that situation is to show kindness. Now, notice what Job goes on to say. He says, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. Here's what Job is saying. Let's assume what you're saying is true. And I have departed from God and I am far from God. As my friend, even if what you're saying is true, you should show kindness. Kindness is what's appropriate. Compassion is what is needed.

And there are occasions where people are in sin. There are occasions where there is a need for correction, but that never removes the need for kindness and compassion. There is the case, there is the instance where there is a need for a firm rebuke in the case of open rebellion. But in other cases, our job is not to point the finger and express our disapproval. Our job is to show compassion. But even in the cases where there is a sin issue,

We're going to consider this a little bit further on Wednesday evening as we head into Galatians chapter 6, where Paul says, look, if anybody's entangled in sin, well, you who are spiritual should restore them with gentleness. There needs to be an effort of restoration. There needs to be that interaction, but...

But it's never without compassion, even if it's self-inflicted. You know, sometimes the suffering that we experience is self-inflicted because I didn't listen to God. I disregarded what God said, or perhaps I disregarded what you counseled me in. And now I'm suffering. And now you come and you say, you know, point the finger, shake the head. I told you so. I disapprove. What's wrong with you? Why did you do that? And instead of bringing comfort and healing, there's accusation.

Hurt, pain, that's added. Now, again, there is times to deal with sin in a straightforward rebuke type way, but it's never without kindness and compassion. Picture what Jesus did with the woman who was caught in adultery in John chapter eight. Caught in the very act. And it's all the religious leaders. You know what they're doing? They're pointing their fingers. They're shaking their head, disapproving. Look at her. What a terrible person she is. I can't believe she would do that. Look at her. What do you say, Jesus? Let's stone her right now.

And it's Jesus who showed her kindness. He did instruct her, go and sin no more. So it's not the, yeah, just whatever, just go live in sin. No, no, it's not that. But at the same time, there was compassion and kindness and gentleness that was shown by the Lord to this one who is in sin. So even if it is the case, it goes back to the bad doctrine and bad theology of Job's friends. Listen, sin is paid for at the cross.

God is not looking for an opportunity to pay people back for sin. He's not. Sin was paid for at the cross. We do suffer. We do experience things. God does bring discipline into our lives. There's a lot of things that we could talk about here, but repayment for sin is not something that God is trying to achieve in this lifetime. Judgment will come, and it will be severe, and it needs to be severe, you know, for God to be righteous and holy. But

That's God's arena, and that's in his time. In this lifetime, in our arena, God is not looking for opportunities to pay people back for their sin.

And even when people sin against him and rebel against him and run away from him, he is still reaching out to them with compassion. And when they're suffering the hurts and pains of the self-inflicted things by disregarding God, he is still reaching out to them in compassion. Correction is appropriate when there is open rebellion, but comfort is

is appropriate all the time. Compassion is appropriate all the time. I would encourage you to think of yourself more like a doctor than a lawyer when it comes to these kinds of situations. You know, the doctor administering help and healing to the wound, it's not so important who did what and how it happened and why it happened and all the background. You know, the doctor doesn't launch the investigation. Let me figure out, you know, who's at fault. It's more a focus on, okay, here's the situation and

What help needs to be administered at this point? There is a lawyer, a prosecutor, an accuser. He's known as the devil. He's the accuser of the brethren. Again, Job said, you're my friends. You showed up. I thought you were going to be on my side, but instead you're against me. They're not on the Lord's side. They're not on Job's side. They've joined the accuser's team and have brought these accusations. That's not the way that God's called us to behave as friends for one who is suffering and hurting.

We need to be more like doctors, less like lawyers. We're not police officers. We're not private investigators. It's not up to us. There are certain circumstances where God appoints us to a role of authority and some justice has to be administered and there is a, you know, appropriate level of lawyer-ness and investigation. That's appropriate for very few circumstances that

roles that God gives to us. But generally speaking for us as believers, in relating to friends and family and those who are hurting around us, that's not our role. That's not what God has called us to. Let's show compassion, not disapproval, not contempt, not I told you so, not like a lawyer, but more like a doctor. Romans chapter 12 verse 15 says, rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Here the apostle Paul encourages us

It's a good picture of compassion. Coming alongside and joining in the situation with those who are there. And if it's a situation of rejoicing, I rejoice with you. I'll celebrate this with you. And if it's a situation of weeping, I'll come into the midst of the situation and I'll weep with you. It's a joining together, a real compassion for one another. This is what God calls us to. Let's learn to be better comforters by showing compassion.

to those who are hurting. I stumbled on this anonymous quote that I thought was good. He says, "If you really want to know who your friends are, just make a mistake." You'll get to know who your friends are when you make a mistake. How do people treat you? Is there compassion? Or is there disapproval and shaking the head and pointing the fingers? Who are your friends? They're the ones who show compassion.

Well, the final point found in verse 5, here we get point number 4, and that is miserable comforters make grief harder. Again, this is not what Job's friends intended. They weren't trying to make things worse. They weren't trying to make things more difficult. They weren't trying to bring hurt or harm. That wasn't their original intention, but that's what they ended up doing. They made grief harder for Job. In verse 5, Job goes on to say, but I would strengthen you with my mouth.

and the comfort of my lips would relieve your grief. Job says, if the roles were reversed, it would be easy for me to just pile on the way that you're piling on to me. It would be easy for me to point the finger and accuse and disapprove. It would be easy, but that's not what I would do. Instead, I would strengthen you with my mouth, and I would bring forth comfort that would relieve your grief. You know that

feeling of relief. You ever experienced that? I'm sure you have, right? There's some situation, it's tense, it's, you know, maybe it's a police officer behind you and you're like, oh no, what's gonna, am I gonna get pulled over? And then he moves around, you go, ah, relief, right? Why is that the first example in my head? I don't know, but I've experienced that many times, okay? Not recently, but in my life. Those times that you're just, oh, it's like hard to breathe because of the

the difficulty of the situation. And then when there's a break from that, you know, maybe it's a stress over finances and, oh my goodness, things are terrible and things are so bad and things are so hard. And how are we going to make men's meat? And then, oh, there's a little bit of relief, you know, God provides. And it's like, oh, I can breathe again. I can, okay. You know, the weight of the world is removed from my shoulders at least

for a moment, that relief, that it's a good picture of how we are to come into a situation and to bring relief. Job says, I would strengthen you and relieve your grief. I can't take it away. I'm not going to remove the situation and, you know, it's not going to be gone completely, but I can give you a moment of relief, give you a little bit of rest to experience the comfort of God.

In commenting on this situation, Pastor Warren Wiersbe says, It's too bad that Job's three friends listened to Job's words instead of to his feelings. They decided to tell Job why he was suffering, but they only made his situation worse. Suffering people need love, acceptance, and patient encouragement, not arguments and accusations. There's some interesting parts of this quote that we could consider. There's some meat there, but...

He first of all says, the mistake they made, Job's friends, is they listened to his words and not to his feelings. You go back to Job chapter 3, we talked about it a little bit last Sunday, and what Job expressed was a little bit shocking. Some of the things he said was like, whoa, that's a, I don't know if you should be saying that, Job. That's kind of, wow, that's pretty bold to say. I don't know if you should say those things. But Job is in the midst of pain expressing himself. He's

experiencing emotions and feelings in a severe and intense way. And so what comes out is a bit surprising to his friends. And what Pastor Warren Waisby is saying is his friends, they paid attention to, they got tripped up over the details of his words. And so now it sparks this argument and they're debating, you know, doctrine, they're debating theology, and they didn't understand that

It's not the time to be nitpicking all of the details of the exact words that Job used and what he actually said, but to be hearing his heart, what he's expressing, the pain that he is going through. People who are in pain, it's not surprising that they cry out vehemently, loudly, right?

It's not surprising. You could think about like someone who is drowning. It's pretty well known, right? If someone is drowning, you don't just go right out and save them because they're flailing their arms. They'll knock you out. They'll take you down with them. So you let them tire themselves out and then you bring them, you drag them to shore. You're trying to rescue them, but they often will hurt you even though you're trying to rescue them. In a similar way, those who are hurting,

They're experiencing emotion. They're experiencing pain. They're suffering. Their arms are flailing. Their words are flailing. And sometimes what happens is we draw near and they express out loud some things that are going on and you're offended by it. And now you strike back. And then, you know, you started this fight, this debate, this battle. We got tripped up over the words. We let those words take too much value in our minds and in our hearts.

People who are in pain, they're going to express some pretty serious emotion in times of pain. It's one of the things I appreciate about the book of Job, because what we need to understand, we need to learn that there are emotions that we go through. Even righteous men like Job, God tells us from the beginning he's a righteous man. All the way at the end, Job is referred to as a righteous man. Not perfect, but even as a righteous man, he suffered greatly. He

spoke of things that he wasn't all too aware of what was coming out of his mouth sometimes. He spoke out of his ignorance, he says later on. He did like Peter. I didn't know what to say, so I said this. It's like, yeah, he did that too. He expressed. And then as we head into the Psalms, we're going to see that as well. The prophet David, right? He goes through some incredibly severe low times and that's reflected in the Psalms and it comes back to the Lord. But

But there's this appropriate, this normal, this natural expression of, this is how I feel. This is what I'm experiencing. This is what I'm going through. And as we seek to bring comfort to those who are hurting, you need to understand that there will be times that they say things that they don't really mean. You can't take it personally and, you know, start a fight on it. But that's what Job's friends did. They got tripped up over his words. So they began to argue and debate and it made the situation worse.

Instead of offering love and acceptance and patient encouragement, they engaged in the debate. And the real problem with Job's friends was they engaged in the debate coming from a position of bad doctrine. And that'll just take things even to a greater degree of wrongness and severity. I heard someone share with a grieving parent one time who lost a child.

God took your child before they could do all the terrible things that they were going to do in their life. They were going to do terrible things. They were going to turn out really bad. So, you know, you should thank God that he took their child when they took them. It was like, you know, you want to get a two by four or a baseball bat out of those nine months, right? Bad doctrine makes things worse. Miserable comforters make grief harder, bring more pain.

Let's not do that. Instead, let's provide strength and relief. That's what Job says he would do. I would strengthen you with my mouth and the comfort of my lips would relieve your grief. I would strengthen you. I would help you overcome. Now, again, we need to think about and understand comfort. Comfort is not about taking away the pain. We don't have the power and the capacity to do that in other people's lives.

Even God who can do that rarely just takes someone out of a difficult situation. He doesn't just remove it and resolve everything overnight, even though God could, but he doesn't. So we can't. Our job is not to remove all of the difficulties and answer all the questions. And when we try that, well, we go back to the carelessness of the quick fix, the easy answers and nonsense abounds. Comfort is not about taking away the pain. Comfort is about providing some strength and relief.

Some strength. Let me encourage you. Let me help you with the situations that you face. Let me give you a moment of relief. You wouldn't feel the pressure of the things that are happening, the things that are going on. A soothness. Maybe apply a little bit of an ointment to the wound and just refresh you and encourage you a little bit. This is what Jesus came to do. At the beginning of his ministry, he quotes from the prophet Isaiah in one of the synagogues, and it's recorded for us in Luke 4.

Luke 4.18, Jesus says,

Jesus like looks at all these different situations, people who are brokenhearted and oppressed and experiencing pressure, those who are in captivity, those who are blind, all of these ailments and issues. And Jesus came, I said, I came to bring comfort, to bring relief, to bring strength, to help people in those situations. And then he hands on the baton to us. And then we come into hopefully following his footsteps. But if we're miserable comforters, will we usher in comfort?

more pain, more issue, more difficulty. No, we need to follow the example of Jesus and be led by the Spirit of Jesus to bring comfort to those who are in these circumstances. The work of the Holy Spirit in our lives is crucial. Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians 14 as he's talking about spiritual gifts. This is something he speaks to all of us as believers. 1 Corinthians 14 says,

He says, pursue love and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy. He goes on in verse two to say, for he who speaks in a tongue and talks about things relative to speaking in tongues, how it's personal. But then verse three, he says, but he who prophesies speaks edification and exhortation and comfort to men. Paul says this, you need to pursue love.

You love people around you. They're hurting. They're suffering. Pursue love and desire spiritual gifts. These are not just for the select few. These are for all believers. It's not the role that he's talking about here. So you're not, you know, if you have the gift of prophecy, it's not that you are the role of a prophet. You are the new Elijah. No, no, no, not like that. But any believer at any time can be gifted with the gift of prophecy by the Holy Spirit and

Prophecy is not speaking the future necessarily. It's speaking forth a word from God. Paul goes on in verse 3 to explain. When someone speaks forth from God on behalf of God, here's what happens. Edification, exhortation, and comfort. Miserable comforters, they make grief harder. But let's provide strength and relief by pursuing love and asking God to gift us with his words.

That will help the person we're wanting to minister to. That they would be edified, built up, strengthened, exhorted. That's encouraged and comforted. That we would provide the strength and the relief that people need. Here as we look at Job, his situation.

We can easily find ourselves in the position of Job's friend, miserable comforters. But let's do better, guys. We can do better than that. We have the completed work of Jesus. We have the empowering of the Holy Spirit. Let's become better comforters and speak what we receive from God as we look to him for comfort in our own situations. Let's learn how to be quiet and learn when it's time to be quiet and

Not necessarily present a whole array of arguments and ideas and insights and thoughts, but to be alongside, to sit side by side in quietness sometimes is the best thing to do. Let's show compassion. Put ourselves in somebody else's experience and feel what they feel. Be with them in the midst of it. And let's seek to provide strength and relief by what the Holy Spirit provides that people might be built up

And receive the comfort from the Lord that they need. Amen.