2 SAMUEL 19 PURSUE GODS HEART FOR EACH INTERACTION WITH PEOPLE2018 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: 2 Samuel 19 Pursue Gods Heart For Each Interaction With People

You are listening to FerventWord, an online Bible study ministry with teachings and tools to help you grow deeper in your relationship with God. The following message was taught by Jerry Simmons in 2018. 2 Samuel chapter 19, as we continue our journey through the books of Samuel and talking about pursuing the heart of God.

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And Absalom was killed, and David was upset about that, and we'll see that at the beginning here of chapter 19, and then look at David's now return to Jerusalem through the rest of the chapter. And so we're going to begin by reading verses 1 through 8, and then jump into the message that God has for us. 2 Samuel chapter 19 verse 1 says, And Joab was told, Behold, the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.

So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people. For the people heard it said that day, the king is grieved for his son. And the people stole back into the city that day, as people who are ashamed steal away when they flee in battle. But the king covered his face and the king cried out with a loud voice, Oh, my son Absalom, oh, Absalom, my son, my son.

Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, "'Today you have disgraced all your servants, who today have saved your life, the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives and the lives of your concubines, in that you love your enemies and hate your friends. For you have declared today that you regard neither princes nor servants. For today I perceive that if Absalom had lived and all of us had died today, then it would have pleased you well.'"

Now therefore, arise, go out and speak comfort to your servants. For I swear by the Lord, if you do not go out, not one will stay with you this night, and that will be worse for you than all the evil that has befallen you from your youth until now. Then the king arose and sat in the gate, and they told all the people, saying, There is the king sitting in the gate. So all the people came before the king, for everyone of Israel had fled to his tent."

Here we're looking at in chapter 19 the aftermath of the battle.

David's first initial response to hearing about his son's death, but then stepping up into his role as king and being there with his men in their victory after the battle. And now as we go forward in the chapter, we covered these few verses last week, but I want to touch on them briefly and then we'll work our way into the rest of the chapter where David is now making the journey back into Jerusalem.

And as David is headed back into Jerusalem, there's a lot of different encounters that he has with various people that are from different circumstances. And as a result of, you know, the way that he left and their treatment of him or his treatment of them, there's some different interactions that take place. And

So it gives us the message for the evening that is pursue God's heart for each interaction with people. And we're going to see six different interactions, six different exchanges that take place and consider some different ways that we can pursue God's heart in those different circumstances and those kinds of interactions that you and I have with different people as well.

And so we're going to look at some of these things pretty quickly. Again, verses 1 through 8 we covered last week as well. But I wanted to just camp out for a moment on these verses again with point number one this evening. And that is receive good advice from not so good people. Here in verses 1 through 8 that we just read, we have this exchange that happens between Joab and David. And in this case, David is rebuked.

Now Joab has just done a terrible deed. He has just completely disregarded and ignored the king's command and put Absalom, the king's son, to death. And we can look at many examples in the life of Joab and understand that he was not actually a very good guy. He was loyal to David, but he was not a good man.

But we find as you kind of look at his life and his motivations throughout that he's not really loyal to David because he loves David so much.

It's more that he's loyal to David because it's in his best interest for David to be protected and to remain as king. And so when Joab's agenda conflicts with David's agenda, Joab has no problem ignoring what David says and doing whatever Joab wants to do. He's willing to do that. When David made a peace agreement with Abner, trying to unite the nation after Saul's death,

Joab said, no, I don't want that. And so he killed Abner. And so he has no problem going against what David desires. He's loyal to David when it's in his own interest and when it meets his own agenda. And so when David says, don't kill or don't harm Absalom, Joab says, no, I'm not going to listen to that. And so we find that Joab is not really a good guy. But what's interesting about this passage is Joab here gives David a

Some good advice. And he gives him a rebuke. Maybe you could argue that he doesn't deliver it very well. It's pretty harsh in the way that he delivers it. But at the same time, it is the right thing that David needed to hear to minister to his people the way that they needed to be ministered to.

Because David is upset over his son, he's mourning. He's crying out, oh, Absalom, my son, my son. It tells us in verse 2 and 3 that the people are ashamed of their victory. They're victorious over, you know, against great odds. It should be a moment of celebration in that sense that they are victorious in this battle. But it tells us in verse 2, the victory that day was turned into mourning.

And the people snuck back into the city as people who are ashamed, it says in verse 3. And so the people were really discouraged. The soldiers who fought for David were discouraged because of David's mourning. And so it tells us in verse 5, 6, and 7, Joab comes in and rebukes David and says, you've disgraced your servants. They've saved your life and

and you have treated them shamefully by behaving this way. And then in verse 7, he gives them the instruction. Here's what you need to do. Go out and speak comfort to your servants. They understand your mourning. They understand you lost your son, but you need to meet with them. They need to see you and know that it's okay that you're with them in this victory and that they don't need to be ashamed. And it tells us in verse 8, "'Then the king arose and sat in the gate.'"

David, although he had just lost his son Absalom, although he's grieving abundantly, he hears this rebuke from Joab. He takes it to heart.

And then he acts upon it and goes and meets with his guys at the gate. I shared this quote last week, but it's worth repeating. And G. Campbell Morgan says, there are times when men must rise above the grief of their own repentance and act for the sake of others. This was so now in the case of David. And Joab told him so with almost brutal frankness.

He told them harshly. He told them directly. And it was probably not easy for David to hear, but it was a time for David. He needed to rise above his own grief. Even though he grieved for Absalom and the loss of his son, even though he grieved over his part in the thing, in the situation that unfolded with Absalom, and he had a part with that. There's some roots back to his sin with Bathsheba and Uriah and all of that. And yet,

In this moment, he needed to not just sit there and cry. He needed to get up and be the king and go meet with his soldiers. And so here you have Joab, a not so good guy, but he gives good advice in this moment. And there's an important lesson here for us to pursue God's heart when we receive advice, when we receive some instruction and correction that sometimes, you know, we might like that phrase. It's often...

said and joked about. It's not what you said. It's how you said it, right? And we reject what someone says because we don't like how they said it. Or maybe we reject what's being said because, well, I wouldn't mind being corrected, but I wouldn't want you to correct me. You know, I would receive that correction from somebody else, but not from you. You know, that's an insult. And so I don't receive that correction. But

But there really is a place for us and a need for us to be humble enough to take correction, advice, counsel that we receive from good sources and not so good sources and take those things before the Lord and be humble enough to honestly and genuinely invite God to show us

if there's merit to those words and if he wants us to head in that direction and take heed to those things. We always wish that correction was brought to us in the most perfect way possible, but generally speaking, that doesn't often work out, right? Correction oftentimes is brought to us in ways that are offensive to us and hurtful to us and from sources that we would prefer, you know, that they didn't bring the correction, that it was somebody else, but

Many times God will use people in our lives that, you know, we wouldn't want them to be the ones bringing rebuke or correction or instruction to us, but maybe God is going to use them. And so there's a need for a humility and a pursuit of God's heart as we interact with people, even those that maybe we wouldn't consider them as our first, you know, our go-to for getting advice or counsel, but maybe

but we need to to allow ourselves to be open to the lord now that doesn't mean we just do anything anybody tells us but we take it to the lord and and allow god to speak to us about those things

I remember hearing a pastor share about his experience with Pastor Chuck, and they were in the parking lot of the church, and some, you know, random crazy person walked up and started, you know, criticizing and saying all kinds of things against Pastor Chuck. And they had a conversation, and, you know, then eventually the guy took off. But then later on, Pastor Chuck went into his office and actually prayed about the things that the crazy person in the parking lot, you know, was bringing up, and just gave God an opportunity to speak to his heart about that.

And so I think that's a good example for us and a real humility that is needed, that when correction is given, when advice is given, it doesn't have to be from our favorite teacher, favorite counselor, favorite pastor, whatever, but that we give God an opportunity and say, Lord, is there something you want to speak to me about in this? And so receive good advice from not so good people as the Lord leads, as you pursue God's heart.

Moving on to verses 9 through 15, we get point number two or interaction number two. And here is initiate reconciliation with people who hurt you. Verse 9 and 10, it says this. Now all the people were in a dispute throughout all the tribes of Israel saying, the king saved us from the hand of our enemies. He delivered us from the hand of the Philistines. And now he has fled from the land because of Absalom.

Here we find Israel, all of Israel as a nation, you know, they're having a national discussion.

All the people are talking about a situation that has gone on. And so at this point, David is still across the Jordan. He's still in Mahanaim where he was during the battle. He's not yet in Jerusalem. And meanwhile, on the other side here, all of Israel is having this conversation. They're talking to each other and saying, David was our king. He's the one who, he's done so much for us. And we turned against him and grabbed hold of Absalom and said, Absalom, you be king. But

That caused David to flee, and now Absalom is dead. So what are we doing? Why don't we invite David to come back? I mean, the guy that we chose is gone. The one who did so much good for us, he's still there. Why don't we invite him back?

And the whole nation is talking about this. We're familiar with that, right? Sometimes there are things that happen in nominations that are put forth and discussions about that, that all of the nation, everybody has opinions about, you know, all of the things going on. And there's things being conversed back and forth. And here they are having a similar type of situation. All the nation is saying, well, we should bring back the king. Don't you think? Oh, I think this. And there's this discussion that is going on.

Well, David hears about this discussion and he begins to initiate reconciliation with his tribe in the nation of Israel. In verse 11, it tells us, "'So King David sent to Zadok and Abiathar the priests, "'saying, "'Speak to the elders of Judah, saying, "'Why are you the last to bring the king back to his house, "'since the words of all Israel have come to the king "'to his very house?'

You are my brethren, you are my bone and my flesh. Why then are you the last to bring back the king? David hears this discussion. All of the nation is talking about it and word reaches back to David. Here's what the people are saying. Here's what this tribe is saying and here's what this tribe is saying. And there's all of this discussion going back and forth. But David comes from the tribe of Judah. And so he sends messengers to Judah saying,

Through the priest, he says, talk to the elders and just give this little invitation. Hey, all of the nation is talking about this and they're interested in bringing me back, but you're my brethren. You're my family. We're in the same tribe.

Why aren't you first in line? Why are you the last to have this conversation? Why are you holding back so much and not engaging in this? You're my bone and my flesh. Why aren't you interested in bringing me back as king? And here David is reaching out. He is initiating. Now, think about the circumstances here. David is reaching out to the elders of Judah who had just days before sided with Absalom.

and caused David to flee out of Jerusalem. This is what I find really interesting about the character in the heart of David here is, it says in verse 11, so King David sent to Zadok and Abiathar the priests, saying, speak to the elders of Judah. David is the one who reached out to his own brethren, to his own family, and said, hey, what do you guys think about inviting me back to be king? Everybody else is talking about it. What do you guys think about it? Why don't we consider this?

He is the one who reaches out. He is the one who initiates the reconciliation with his family, with his tribe, the tribe of Judah. Pastor Thomas Constable says, David did not want the Judahites to conclude that by supporting Absalom, they had become his enemies. Why wasn't this discussion happening in Judah like it was in the rest of the nation? Part of the reason might have been

it might not have been an option in their minds. They might have thought, well, David's never going to forgive us, so we can't ask David to come back. They might have thought, our treachery, our betrayal is so severe, we can't ask for him to come back. I mean, he, you know, that's how terrible of us. They might have been in that position of, you know, just not asking, not engaging in the conversation because of their part in, you know, their betrayal of David.

And so David, the one who was turned against, the one who was betrayed, the one who was hurt and harmed, he's the one who reaches out and says, hey guys, what do you think about reconciling? You hurt me, but you've not become my enemy. I'm not against you. There's still opportunity for us to be united and to work together. What do you think about inviting me back as king? Why aren't you first in line, in fact? We're family. We're family.

I haven't turned against you. I haven't given up on you. He goes on in verse 13, Now, here this guy Amasa, he was the general of the army for Absalom. And so David speaks to the general, the guy who just, you know, the day before or that day, whatever,

He is leading the army of Israel against David and his men. He's the one in charge. He's the one setting the plays and, you know, sending out the soldiers to battle. David here is showing some incredible grace and mercy in reaching out to Amasa and initiating the reconciliation. He says, hey, you're not my enemy. I mean, you tried to fight against me and I understand all of that, but can we reconcile? Why don't we work together?

You come have a part. In fact, I don't really think Joab's been doing a good job, and I suspect he's the one who killed Absalom. So why don't you come and take his place? And David here gives him an offer of working together, of being reconciled. And it was successful. In verse 14, it says,

Then the king returned and came to the Jordan, and Judah came to Gilgal to go to meet the king, to escort the king across the Jordan. David is still in Mahanim. He sends these messengers. He says, look, I'm not coming back until it's unanimous, until as one man you can say, yes, we want David to be king.

And they come back and they say, we want you to be king. Come back, you and your servants. And so David then begins the trek. He leaves Mahanaim. He heads to the Jordan and he gets to the other side of the Jordan. He's about to cross in verse 15. And they come to meet him on the other side. They're going to escort him over. They're going to be the ones who bring him now back into Jerusalem. Here David sets for us a really good example.

as we pursue God's heart, as we seek to please God and to do his will, that is going to involve many times us being the wounded, being the ones who are hurt and harmed, being the ones who initiate reconciliation. Of course, it would be better, more right, ideal,

If the people who did the harming initiated reconciliation said, hey, I hurt you. I'm really sorry about that. I was wrong. You know, please forgive me. Can we be reconciled? It would be, you know, ideal, but that is not usually what happens. Many times us, the wounded parties, the hurt ones, when we've been harmed, we, well, we have to be forgiving enough and have the character and nature of the Lord enough like David to

to reach out and initiate for reconciliation.

Jesus tells us this in Matthew 18, verse 15. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. And we're familiar with that passage, but I don't know about you, but I kind of typically think of this passage more in the rebuking sense than the reconciling sense. But notice what the Lord says in the focus of the passage is, if he hears you, you've gained your brother. That's the objective.

The objective in that case is not you need to know that you've sinned and I need to tell you that you've sinned and I need to tell you how bad it hurt. That's not the objective. The objective is the gaining the brother. Not that you pretend like it doesn't hurt. No, I'm really hurt. You've sinned against me. I've been really hurt by your actions. But at the same time, although you've hurt me, I don't want this to come between us.

I don't want us to not be able to work together. I don't want us to not be able to serve the Lord together or spend time together. Can we talk about what happened here and what took place? The objective here is reconciliation. And notice who's the one that Jesus instructs to initiate? You, if your brother sins against you. You're the one who's hurt. You're the one who's been wronged. And Jesus says, be like David and say, you've hurt me.

But you haven't become my enemy. Can we work together? Can we work this out? Can we be reconciled? Pursue God's heart for interaction with people. That was really loud. And initiate reconciliation with people who have hurt you. This is hard stuff. But if you understand it, if you think about it, this is the way that God behaves. And so he asks us to do the same. God says, you've hurt me. You've wronged me. But I will not make you my enemy.

And he reaches out, he initiates and says, will you come back and have fellowship with me? Now, because this is so hard, I think it's important to consider what happened again in verse 14. As David is exchanging this and talking with the people of Judah, he says, so he swayed the hearts of all the men of Judah just as the heart of one man. So they sent this word to the king, return you and all your servants.

David was not going to come back and force his reign upon the nation and particularly upon the tribe of Judah. He opens the exchange. He starts the process, but he lets them respond. And when they respond as one, when they're unanimous, they're wholehearted in the decision, then he is able and willing to return.

And in a similar way, Pastor David Guzik says, God will not force his reign on us. We must welcome his reign and he will not force our heart response. Our hearts must be swayed by the work of the word of God and the Holy Spirit. Initiating reconciliation with people who hurt you is hard stuff. So you need to be swayed by the Lord, by the word of the Lord, by the example of the Lord. God's not going to force you to do this.

But will you wholeheartedly respond and say, yeah, I need to get right with people. I need to initiate and open up the doors of conversation and begin the process of piecing back together relationships that have been destroyed by people who inflicted harm and hurt towards me.

Now, kind of going along in that same vein, that same thought, we're going to continue into verses 16 through 23 for point number three, and that is forgive repentant people. Forgive repentant people. With Judah, we don't know how repentant they were until David started to initiate. Here in this case, we have someone who comes to David with a repentant heart. In verse 16, it says, And Shimei, the son of Gerah, a Benjamite who is from Baharim,

So here we have this guy, Shimei. Now the backstory to this is in 2 Samuel 16. It says,

As David was on his way out of Jerusalem, Shimei was the guy who was kind of acting crazy and going alongside with David while he was going and kicking up dust and cursing and screaming and throwing rocks at them and, you know, just celebrating how great it was that David was finally getting what he deserved, in Shimei's opinion anyways. And so...

This was Shimei. He followed along with David, cursed at him and threw rocks at him and celebrated the tragedy that happened in his life the whole way out of Jerusalem. But now he comes back and he's with the welcoming party of the tribe of Judah to meet with King David. Verse 17.

There were a thousand men of Benjamin with him and Ziba the servant of the house of Saul and his 15 sons and his 20 servants with him and they went over the Jordan before the king. Then a ferry boat went across to carry over the king's household and to do what he thought good. Now Shimei the son of Gera fell down before the king when he had crossed the Jordan.

Then he said to the king, do not let my lord impute iniquity to me, or remember what wrong your servant did on the day that my lord the king left Jerusalem, that the king should take it to heart. For I, your servant, know that I have sinned. Therefore, here I am, the first to come today of all the house of Joseph, to go down to meet my lord the king. Here, Shimei comes back with

A humble and repentant heart to meet David. And there's some evidence of repentance as he comes. His repentance here was as public as his sin against David. His sin against David was before everybody. And he's there, you know, shouting and cursing. And it's appropriate for repentance to be in the same arena as the sin that was committed. And so Shimei does that. He comes back

in front of everybody, not only that, but he brings a thousand men of his tribe, of the tribe of Benjamin, plus his family. He's being very open and transparent. He's in front of everybody. He's leading the way and he's saying, I was wrong, confession.

He's doing it publicly in the same scope at which the sin that happened. He's confessing in verse 20, I, your servant, know that I have sinned. He is admitting, acknowledging, and declaring I was wrong. And we also see in verse 20, he was the first to come. He's all, that's why I made it a point. I know I'm wrong. That's why I made it a point to be here and the first in line to meet with you.

Because I know I was wrong. I did wrong towards you. And in front of everybody, I want you to know how sorry that I am. Here we see a genuine heart of repentance in Shimei in meeting David at this time. This is one of the things about repentance that sometimes we are convinced that we can't really tell. And in some cases or in some ways that is true. We don't know the heart of

But at the same time, there are evidences of repentance that can be observed. Paul the Apostle tells us in 2 Corinthians 7, verse 11, talking about repentance, talking about his letter to them and how it brought repentance. He says, for observe this very thing. You can observe. There's evidence that you can take a look at, that you can grasp hold of. He says, you sorrowed in a godly manner.

what diligence it produced in you what clearing of yourselves what indignation what fear what vehement desire what zeal what vindication and all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter you take this verse and you apply it to shimmy i hear in this passage and you see that that diligence i'm here first in line i want to make sure you know that i'm i'm eager

to come before you and say, I'm sorry, I was wrong. I sinned against you. You can see that clearing of himself and the fear and the indignation, the vehement desire. There's a real passion in Shimei to get right, to make things right, and to be there before David. And so there's a real repentance.

but it's not immediately received by everybody. Well, in verse 21, Abishai, the son of Zeruah, answered and said, "'Shall not Shimei be put to death for this "'because he cursed the Lord's anointed?' But verse 22, and David said, "'What have I to do with you, you sons of Zeruah, "'that you should be adversaries to me today? "'Shall any man be put to death today in Israel?'

For do I not know that today I am king over Israel? Verse 23. Therefore the king said to Shimei, you shall not die. And the king swore to him. When it was happening and Shimei was cursing David, Abishai was the guy who wanted to go kill him right away. And David said, no, no, no, don't do it. Maybe the Lord called him to do this. And so just let him be.

Now when Shimei comes back with repentance, Abishai has the same guy saying, let's kill him, you know, and he held a grudge. He didn't forgive Shimei. But David, the man after God's own heart, he forgave him. And even though it was, you know, directly against him and it was hurtful, harmful things that were said and rocks hit him and, you know, those words struck him in a very deep and dark moment in his life, David...

finds the grace and the mercy that he's received from God and extends it to Shimei in this case. And so here we have a good example for us to forgive repentant people. The Lord gives us this instruction in Luke chapter 17, verses 3 and 4. Jesus says, take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him. That's Matthew 18. And if he repents, forgive him.

that this forgiveness is commanded. We're instructed, if there is repentance, you are to forgive. Even to the extent, he says in verse four, if he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times in a day returns to you saying, I repent, you shall forgive him. Don't keep count. Don't think about and make a big deal about how many times you've forgiven him in the past and done all that. No, no. As those who pursue God's heart, we are to be like God

to do what's pleasing to God and behave in a way that God behaves towards us and forgive people who are repentant. When they've hurt us, when they've wronged us, when they've harmed us and they come with repentance, there is to be forgiveness and a restored relationship. Moving on to point number four, we see here, don't make rash decisions about people.

Here we're going to be looking at Mephibosheth. And we covered this a few weeks back in 2 Samuel chapter 16, where we had the original account of what happened with Mephibosheth and his servant, his servant Ziba.

had came to David on his way out of Jerusalem and told David, Mephibosheth has betrayed you. He thinks he's going to become king in this whole thing. And so he stayed behind and, you know, he's hoping you die and he wants to be king. That was the story that Ziba told David about Mephibosheth. But now David has a conversation with Mephibosheth as he comes to meet him. Verse 24. Now Mephibosheth, the son of Saul, came down to meet the king.

And he had not cared for his feet, nor trimmed his mustache, nor washed his clothes from the day the king departed until the day he returned in peace. Mephibosheth was in mourning the whole time that David was gone. He was lame, and we don't know exactly what the ailment was with his feet, but they needed caring for, and he wasn't caring for them. He hadn't groomed himself. He hadn't taken a bath or a shower. He hadn't taken, you know, he was in mourning the whole time, and now he comes to meet David.

David, in verse 25, it says, Verse 27,

but my lord the king is like the angel of god therefore do what is good in your eyes for all my father's house were but dead men before my lord the king yet you set your servant among those who eat at your own table therefore what right have i still to cry out any more to the king as mephibosheth meets up with david david asked the question i don't understand mephibosheth why didn't you go with me i've done you know such kindness towards you and

Had you at my table for so long, and why didn't you go with me when I left? And Mephibosheth now gets an opportunity to tell his side of the story. He says, it was my idea. I wanted to get on the donkey and come be with you, but Ziba, my servant, he deceived me. I'm lame. I have, you know, somewhat dependency upon him, and he took the donkey. I couldn't get to the donkey. I couldn't saddle the donkey. He saddled the donkey and took all of those supplies to you, and

pretended like it was his idea and that he wanted to do it. In the process, in verse 27, Mephibosheth says, he's slandered me before you. The word slander, the concept of slander is to say something or to give an idea, an impression that damages the reputation of someone else. He's damaged my reputation. He slandered me before you and said wrong things, false things, untrue things that

Tried to change your perceptions and David fell for it at the time and he gave Ziba all of Mephibosheth's property because he believed the report that Ziba brought him. But Mephibosheth is here not demanding for rights. He says, look, hey, we were dead men. I mean, I'm the son of or the grandson of, you know, the previous king and in most cases,

cultures, you know, I would be taken out, I would be slaughtered, and we would have no life because, you know, we would be a threat to the throne, and yet you've showed kindness to me and done so much for me. I don't have any rights, and I'm not here asking for anything, but I'm just here to meet you. I'm just glad that you're back. In verse 29, so the king said to him, why do you speak any more of your matters? I have said you and Ziba divide the land.

Then Mephibosheth said to the king, rather let him take it all in as much as my lord the king has come back in peace to his own house. David says, all right, all right, enough talking about this. Why do you speak any more of this matter? Let's stop talking about this. We've talked about this for too long. You and Ziba divide the land. That's my decision. Now, originally, David had given all this land to Mephibosheth. Then when Ziba slandered Mephibosheth, he took it from Mephibosheth and he gave it to Ziba.

Now he says, okay, here's my decision. You guys split it. So this land is kind of going back and forth. And here Mephibosheth says, I don't really care. That doesn't matter. What's important to me is that you've come back. And I'm glad to see you back. That's the most important thing. And so Mephibosheth has a good heart in the midst of this. And again, shows that what Ziba said about him was a lie and was slander and not true. But here David makes what you might call a questionable decision.

When we looked at this back in chapter 16, I taught the message this way with the title, Questions to Ask Before Making Decisions. And here's the questions. Is this a good time to decide? And on the way out, while all this was happening, and Ziba brought this slander to David, it wasn't a good time to decide. It didn't need to be decided then.

Am I swayed by my emotions? And David was certainly emotional, and so there was a lot going on there. It wasn't a good time to make that decision as he was on his way out of Jerusalem. Do I have enough information? He only had one side of the story, Ziba's side of the story. He didn't have all the information yet, so it was a little bit too soon for him to make that decision. And do I have insight from God? He hadn't heard from the Lord. He hadn't had time to seek the Lord on the matter. So as he's on the way out and he makes that decision,

We learn from there that, you know, David sometimes did not always pursue God's heart and there was some cause for concern about this decision that was made and kind of repeating that as he comes back in now, as he gets to hear the whole story, he says,

doesn't make things right and give all of the land back to Mephibosheth. He doesn't make things right and deal with it, and maybe he still believes part of Ziba's story, or maybe he just doesn't want to offend Ziba, and it's a crucial time, and there's a lot going on. There's some turmoil, you know. The king has just been banished and then brought back, and so we don't want to, you know, make too many waves, but on the way back in, it's a similar kind of thing. Is it a good time to make this decision? David didn't have to decide about the land right at this moment, perhaps.

Is he swayed by his emotions? There's a lot going on. Does he have all the information? He might, he might, he might not. He has a little bit more fuller picture now, but he still hasn't had opportunity really to seek the Lord and to hear from the Lord about this matter. And so we find David making a rash decision initially about Mephibosheth and now a rash decision about the property and how to deal with it.

This commentary describes it this way. David pronounced a rash and unrighteous judgment by which a great injury was inflicted on the character and interest of a devoted friend. Mephibosheth was a devoted friend. And David really disrespected him and treated him poorly and believed this false report, this slander that was brought to him. The great injury here is not the property. You see, Mephibosheth didn't care about the property. Really, the great injury is that David believed the slander. And he let...

Mephibosheth's reputation be tarnished by this lie that Ziba told. I'd just like to remind you of a couple of verses out of Proverbs. Proverbs 18, 13. He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him. When we hear one side of the story and we have an opinion, we have the answer, we've come to a conclusion, we've made a decision, it's too soon. You haven't heard the whole thing yet. And that's foolishness and that's shame.

I would suggest to you, the majority of what we hear is only one side of the story. And so this isn't something that happens very rarely when you're banished from a kingdom and, you know, there's this lie that this one servant brings. And so once in your life, you may experience this. No, probably like 25 times a day you experience this. So this is something to take heart. When we answer a matter before we hear it, it's foolishness. It's shameful.

In Proverbs 18, 17, a few verses down, it says, the first one to plead his cause seems right until his neighbor comes and examines him. And when Ziba first came, oh, it seemed right. But now when you get the fuller picture and you see the behavior of Mephibosheth and his heart about the land and the way that he has been in mourning this whole time, well, there's a whole different story that David wasn't aware of before. He rushed to a decision about Mephibosheth based on this lie that was told

by Ziba. It's easy for us to be convinced that we have the whole story, even when we've only heard one side. And so, pursuing God's heart, we're going to be those who are careful not to make rash decisions about people. Believing slander, believing things that damage people's reputation just so quickly and easily. Not that we...

are not open to that, and there is some kind of pushback, and some example we see in current events, you know, with the accusations that are brought about, you know, within the political realm, but also within the church realm, and there are those who, you know, just refuse to believe any accusation, just period, and that's taking it too far, but

But to then just receive every accusation and believe every accusation, well, that's taking it too far the other way. There needs to be a more measured and more wise approach to these things, especially in our relationships with one another. That those friends that you have, Mephibosheth was David's friend. Someone comes and slanders your friend, oh, don't be quick to believe that accusation.

Get the whole story. Get the whole accounts. Don't just accept that and let that reputation be tarnished, be slandered. No, no, don't do that. Be careful that you don't rush to a rash decision about someone around you.

Well, moving on to verses 31 through 39, we get point number five, and that is show gratitude to people who have blessed you. Here we're going to be introduced now to a different guy. In verse 31, Barzillai, the Gileadite, came down from Rochelim and went across the Jordan with the king to escort him across the Jordan. Now Barzillai was a very aged man, 80 years old, and he had provided the king with supplies while he stayed at Mahanaim, for he was a very rich man.

Here now, David has an exchange, an encounter, an interaction with this guy named Barzillai. Now, his backstory, as far as this account with David, is found in chapter 17 of 2 Samuel. And that is when David leaves Jerusalem and he goes across the wilderness, he goes to the city of Mahanaim.

This guy Barzillai was one of three guys who came and brought all kinds of supplies for David and his men. They brought beds, they brought cooking utensils, they brought food and different things to help meet the needs. And here's this guy, 80 years old, he's one of the three guys who's coming and just doing an incredible act of service and showing incredible generosity to David and his men as they are on the run from Absalom.

And so here he's been with David for this time. And now he's journeying with David back towards Jerusalem. He's just accompanying him for the journey. In verse 33, we see the interaction that takes place. It says, the king said to Barzillai, come across with me and I will provide for you while you're with me in Jerusalem. But Barzillai said to the king, how long have I to live that I should go up with the king to Jerusalem? I am today 80 years old.

Can I discern between the good and bad? Can your servant taste what I eat or what I drink? Can I hear any longer the voice of singing men and singing women? Why then should your servant be a further burden to my lord the king? Your servant will go a little way across the Jordan with the king, and why should the king repay me with such a reward? Verse 37, please let your servant turn back again that I may die in my own city near the grave of my father and mother, but here is your servant Chimham.

Let him cross over with my Lord the King and do for him what seems good to you. This old guy Barzillai is hanging out with David. He's been such a blessing to David. David says, hey, why don't you come with me to Jerusalem? It's my turn now. Let me bless you. You've been such a blessing to me. You've done so much for me. I'm now in my hometown back on the throne. Why don't you come back with me? I'll take good care of you.

And Barzilla, he's an old guy. He's 80 years old, it says. And he declares that very clearly. I'm today 80 years old. Can I discern between good and bad? Look, if I go hang out with you, you're going to be like serving me, you know, this incredible food, but it's going to taste like mashed potatoes to me. Like, it's like, you know, I can't taste anymore. I can't appreciate and enjoy the flavors that you'll be bringing to the table.

And you're going to have this incredible entertainment and the best singers and, you know, that. And I can barely hear, you know. They haven't invented hearing aids yet. And so I'm not going to be able to appreciate that. You know, I'm just really not going to be able to appreciate all that's there in the presence of the king. So you don't need to repay me. Thank you. I appreciate it. But plus, I'm 80 years old, he says. I'm about to die. I'd rather die in my hometown. My mom and my dad died here. Their graves are right here. I mean, I'd rather just...

be here with my family at home. And, you know, it's not going to be long now. So I'd rather just stay here.

But he offers Chimham. He says, my servant, other passages also refer to Chimham as his son. So we don't know if it's his son or a servant who was close to him. But he says, you know, let him. He's young. He can go and appreciate all the good foods and the great entertainment and, you know, enjoy all of those things. And so you can, you know, bless him if you'd like to in my name and in my honor. Barzillai served David.

They're in the wilderness without expectation of something in return. And that's good. That's how service ought to be, right? We ought to serve and to love and to give without a requirement of you have to give back now. At the same time, although service should be done without expecting anything in return, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't give anything in return when someone has served you and blessed you. And this is what we see David doing here. He says, look, you've blessed me so much.

I'm in a different situation now. My conditions have changed, and I'm in a position where I'd like to bless you. I'd like to provide for you. I'd like to help you and just, you know, do nice things for you. And David here shows for us a good example of showing gratitude to people who've blessed us. It's appropriate. Although we serve without expecting in return, that doesn't mean that we who are blessed should look back and say, well,

You don't get anything in return. No, when there is the opportunity and when the occasions change, those who have blessed you when it's in your power, you should show some gratitude. You should bless them. Verse 38, the king answered, Chimham shall cross over with me and I will do for him what seems good to you. Now, whatever you request of me, I will do for you. Then all the people went over the Jordan and when the king had crossed over, the king kissed Barzillai and blessed him and he returned to his own place.

And so Barzillai goes home, but Chimham, this guy, his servant, his son, goes forward with David to receive the blessings that were earned for him by Barzillai. It's a little bit of a side note, but it's an interesting picture for us to consider. Here's Chimham. He wasn't the guy who provided for David. He wasn't the guy who did all the good things. He wasn't the guy who, you know, had the resources. But he's the guy who gets blessed because...

Someone else did the work for him. F.B. Meyer describes it this way. In himself, the youth had no claims upon David, but he stood in the merits of another, his father. His title to the king's favor consisted entirely in being the son of Barzillai. Similarly, the believer in Jesus is accepted in the beloved. And it's something interesting to consider. We are blessed by God the Father today.

not by merits of our own, not because we did something great, but because of who Jesus is. And by believing in Jesus, we are accepted in the beloved. Like Chimham, we get to be blessed as those who did the work, even though we didn't do the work. We aren't righteous, but we're related to the one who did the work for us. We've believed in Jesus. And so we get to reap the rewards of Jesus from the Father. So God treats us this way today.

and shows for us the model of how to treat one another. Show gratitude to people who have blessed you. Again, service should be done without expecting anything in return, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't give towards those who have blessed you. Finishing it up in verses 40 through 43, Kim's favorite point, sometimes just be quiet.

pursuing God's heart for each interaction with people. Sometimes there needs to be an initiation and we reach out and say, let's get back together, let's work things out. And sometimes there needs to be a forgiveness for those who have repented. Sometimes there needs to be a receiving of correction. Sometimes we need to stop and reconsider the slander that we've heard or we need to show gratitude for those that we've blessed. And sometimes we just need to be

Quiet. Verse 40 and 41 says this. Now the king went on to Gilgal and Chimham went on with him and all the people of Judah escorted the king and also half the people of Israel. Just then all the men of Israel came to the king and said to the king, why have our brethren, the men of Judah, stolen you away and brought the king, his household, and all David's men with him across the Jordan? There's peace and harmony for 30 seconds and then there is another little battle brewing.

Judah, that's who David reached out to and said, hey, everybody else is talking about bringing you back. Why haven't you brought me back? So Judah responds. They go meet David at the Jordan. They help David cross the Jordan. They're on their way back into Jerusalem. And then the rest of Israel shows up.

Now, just a quick reminder that Israel later on is going to be divided after Solomon dies. And there's going to be the northern kingdom Israel and the southern kingdom Judah. But the division that takes place then didn't just start all of a sudden out of the blue right then.

This division has been going on for a long time. We see it through the book of Judges. We even see it, you know, prior to that, that there's some conflict already between the tribes that are in the northern area and the tribes that are in the southern area. And there's a big number difference between them. The Judah really is Judah and Benjamin. It's two tribes, and

And then the rest of the tribes are referred to as Israel. And so in verse 41, it says, Israel came to the king. That's who it's talking about. It's talking about the majority of the nation. They finally come to the party and they're upset. Hey, why have you guys stolen away the king? Actually, it tells us in verse 41, they came to the king and said to the king, why has Judah done this? Why did you let Judah do this? Why is this happening this way? And so there is this conflict.

But then notice verse 42. So all the men of Judah answered the men of Israel, because the king is a close relative of ours. Why then are you angry over this matter? Have we ever eaten at the king's expense, or has he given us any gift? Verse 43. And the men of Israel answered the men of Judah and said, we have 10 shares in the king, therefore we also have more right to David than you. Why then do you despise us? Were we not the first to advise bringing back our king? Verse

Yet the words of the men of Judah were fiercer than the words of the men of Israel. So there's this back and forth. There's this argument between the men of Judah and the men of Israel. Judah answered, it said in verse 42, he's our family, so that's why we're here. And then Israel answers in verse 43, yeah, but we have 10 parts. You only have two parts. We're 10 tribes. You're only two tribes. So he's more our king than he is your king. And there's this back and forth, this argument between

But notice who isn't in this conversation. David. Now in verse 41, it says very clearly, Israel came to the king and said to the king. And you know what the king said back? Nothing. Because verse 42, it says, the men of Judah answered. So they came and speak to the king, but David doesn't answer back. The men of Judah answer back. And then the men of Israel answer back to the men of Judah. And they're having this dispute between them. Meanwhile, David, he's just being quiet.

He stays out of it. And sometimes that is the right thing to do as we pursue God's heart. Sometimes we don't have to be participating in some dispute, in some conflict. Now, there are a lot of times where we need to step into a conflict and be part of it. But sometimes pursue God's heart. What do you want in this situation? Sometimes we just need to be quiet. And there is a battle. There is a dispute. There is a fight.

But we don't necessarily have to be part of it. I've always liked this proverb, Proverbs 26, 17. He who passes by and meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a dog by the ears. That is to incur the wrath of the dog and put yourself in harm's way. And sometimes we do that. We meddle in a quarrel that's not ours. Or sometimes we should just be quiet and not put ourselves in harm's way, not put ourselves in the middle of some conflict that is going on, but just stay out of it.

Now, that doesn't mean we should always stay out of every conflict, but as we pursue God's heart, as we seek to be men and women who are pleasing to God and seeking God's heart, seeking God's will, sometimes we just need to be quiet. Sometimes we need to receive advice from our not-so-favorite people. Sometimes we need to initiate reconciliation to people who have hurt us. We always need to forgive repented people. We need to be careful about making quick decisions about

believing slander and gossip about people, especially those who are close to us. We need to look for opportunity to show gratitude to people who've blessed us. Sometimes we just need to be quiet. And so at this time, I'll choose to do that after this prayer. Lord, we thank you for your word and the reminders and the challenges that are here. And Lord, we do want to be those who pursue your heart.

We want to be those who please you and seek out and search out your will. And so God, in the many different types of interactions that we have with the people around us, I pray that you'd give us great wisdom and humility, Lord, that we might relate to each one in an appropriate way, in a way that honors you and brings glory to your name.

So God, lead us by your spirit, I pray. As we talk to one another, as we converse with one another, as we seek out reconciliation, as we seek out blessing, as we seek to represent you, Lord, help us to do so by the power of your Holy Spirit. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

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