2 SAMUEL 3 PURSUE GODS HEART FOR PEOPLE YOU HELP2018 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: 2 Samuel 3 Pursue Gods Heart For People You Help

We are in 2 Samuel chapter 3.

2 Samuel chapter 3 this evening as we continue to work our way through the life of David and consider the subject of pursuing God's heart. And we're going to continue to look at that subject. Not so much looking at David, although he is part of the account, but really focusing on...

Joab and Abner. I forgot his name all of a sudden. That might happen tonight. I apologize. But Joab and Abner here are alongside of David and show us some important insights about pursuing God's heart really by what not to do. And so we're learning from their bad example as we look at 2 Samuel chapter 3. Let's begin tonight by reading verses 1 through 5 of 2 Samuel chapter 3. Verse 1 says this,

Now there was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. But David grew stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul grew weaker and weaker. Sons were born to David in Hebron. His firstborn was Amnon by Ahinom the Jezreelitess. His second, Chiliab, by Abigail, the widow of Nabal the Carmelite. The third, Absalom, the son of Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur.

The fourth, Adonijah, the son of Haggith. The fifth, Shephetiah, the son of Abital. And the sixth, Ithrium, by David's wife, Eglah. These were born to David in Hebron. We begin chapter 3 of 2 Samuel, continuing to watch David ascend to the throne of Israel.

He's been appointed and anointed as king over the nation of Judah, the southern part of the nation of Israel. But the rest of the tribes of Israel have held to Ish-bosheth, who was one of Saul's sons. And so he is the king of Israel. But

But David's on this journey. God has promised him that he will be king over all of Israel. And so we're walking with him to that end and to see him on the throne of all of Israel. But there's some things that are going to happen and some events that transpire between now and then. And a lot of that unfolds here in chapter three. And so we'll be looking at that this evening.

I've titled the message for our time together this evening, Pursue God's Heart for People You Help.

Pursue God's heart for people that you help. And again, we'll be focusing really on Joab and Abner as we read through our account this evening. Again, David is here. He's part of the account, but really focusing on the actions and decisions and motivations of these two guys, Joab and Abner. And you could look at them, both of them kind of as assistants.

well, Joab was David's commander, the commander of David's army. And Abner was the commander of Ish-bosheth's army, but he's going to try to become the commander of David's army. And so both of them, you could look at them in ministry terms as assistants. You know, they were assistant to the leader. They were helpers. They were those who would come alongside and support David.

those that they were there with. And so as we look at their examples, we're looking at some pictures of the way that we help people and why it's important that we make sure that when we are helping people and seeking to bring support or help or assist in some manner or another, that the first and foremost thing needs to be the pursuit of

And so I would ask you to just take a moment as we begin this evening and start thinking about some of the people that you help. And it could be in a variety of capacities. You might help some people with counsel, you know, that they come to you and ask you for wisdom. They ask you for guidance. They ask you what you think about the situation that you face.

Perhaps there's people who come to you for help physically. They need to move a couch. They need to, you know, pick up things. They need help in a more practical sense in their life, fixing a stove or changing a tire. You know, those kinds of things that there's those practical ways that perhaps you come alongside and help physically.

There's those who come to you for spiritual help and they're seeking, you know, for that connection to the Lord, for that insight from the Lord. And they're looking to you to kind of be, you know, that means by which God provides the spiritual help for.

that they need. And so you could be thinking about friends or family or fellow church members. You could be thinking about your spouse. You could be thinking about ministry leaders. You could be thinking about a variety of people as you think about the people that you love.

And as you think about those, I would encourage you to be meditating on and considering the pursuit of God's heart as you give that help, as you seek to provide that help that is being requested or looked for, or maybe it's help that you're trying to provide that's not even welcome or wanted at this time.

But at the same time, you need to provide that help in the pursuit of the heart of God, seeking to please God, seeking to honor God, seeking God's will and his pleasure for the situations. And so we want to see that this evening as we look at these examples of Joab and Abner.

So again, 2 Samuel 3, pursue God's heart for people you help. And there's five points we'll walk through in this subject as we work our way through the passage this evening. The first one is found in these verses we read. That's verses 1 through 5. And that is the simple point, the simple fact that everyone needs help.

And I do want to encourage you to just stop and consider that. I know we can all look at, you know, Dave Burnt and we can think, you know, if there's anybody who doesn't need help, it's Dave Burnt. You know, he's got it all taken care of. It's all figured out, all sorted out. You know, that Melinda, she's got it all dialed in. She knows exactly. She doesn't need help. And we can easily look at people around us, especially people

people that we respect and look up to. We recently lost Billy Graham to this life, but now he's in eternity. And so he's rejoicing there. But even when he was alive, you could look at Billy Graham and think, what help could there be need of? That there was just no need. And yet I would encourage you that

Pastor Chuck, Billy Graham, Greg Laurie, Raul Reis, you know, our missionaries, all of those that we might think of are people who need help.

And so it's important for us to recognize that need and to understand that it does indeed exist. And we see that here in these first few verses in this example of David. Here it outlines for us the children that he has in his time in Hebron as king.

Now, again, it starts out in verse 1 saying,

We talked about last week how there was a period of time that goes on, that transpires between the time when David becomes king of Hebron, and then he's going to become king over Israel. And Ish-bosheth is on the throne for a couple years, and then he is going to relinquish the throne to David through his demise. And so there's this time that passes, and throughout that time, there's just an ongoing conflict between

An ongoing civil war that's taking place, a long war, it says, between the house of Saul and the house of David. And so there is this ongoing conflict, but in the midst of it, David's gaining in strength.

His popularity is growing. His numbers are increasing. And his own family is increasing. And that was, of course, one of the ways that you would gain strength, especially in those days. And so it describes to us the family that developed there for David in Hebron, the sons that were born to him. And it goes on in verses 2 through 5 to list six sons. And it's interesting to note that each was by a different wife.

And so at this time in David's life, he has six wives, at least, that we know of here anyways. And of these six wives, each one has brought forth a son by David while he's there in Hebron. And here's where I get the point that everyone needs help. Because as much as we look to David as the model, as the one who pursues God's heart,

As much as we look to him as the example for how to be one who pursues the heart of God, we also need to recognize that David was not perfect and he did not always pursue God's heart in every avenue and aspect of his life. And in this

listing of his wives and his sons by each wife, we get a reminder of some of the weakness of David in that he was married to these different women, and he's not finished. He's going to get married to more as time goes on. And it was something that God had specifically addressed in the law through Moses. In

God says, neither shall he multiply wives for himself. Talking about the king, the verse before that you're familiar with is the one he says, you should not multiply horses. And so don't go down to Egypt to get horses. And we're familiar with that one. We know Solomon broke that one and this one as well, and not multiplying wives to himself either. And so God had seen this, said it's an issue, addressed it in the law. But here, David says,

goes forward in this route, even though it was something that God had forbidden. Now, the results of this are going to be long lasting and pretty devastating. In fact, David's going to experience all kinds of trouble, even as you look at this list. And so in verse two, sons were born to David in Hebron. His firstborn was Amnon by Ahinom the Jezreelitess.

And I don't know how well you know the life of David, but Amnon, David's oldest son, later on is going to cause a lot of problems because he forces himself upon his sister in a sexual way. And so there is a defilement that takes place. And it happens, well, to just bring havoc to the family because now the brother of the sister, you know, from the same mother, David,

The brother from another mother, I don't know how that goes. But anyways, now he's mad at Amnon and they're fighting and he actually murders, Absalom murders Amnon. And so there is this turmoil and family conflict that results over this. And then, of course, we see Absalom mentioned here in verse 3.

He's born to David while in Hebron, and later on, Absalom is going to try to overthrow David's kingdom, really usurp David's kingdom out from under him. He kicks him out of Jerusalem. David's on the run in the wilderness while Absalom's in Jerusalem, and he brings great trouble about to the nation of Israel and to David and his family and his kingdom.

We also see Adonijah mentioned here in these lists of sons. And Adonijah, after David is returned to Jerusalem, he tries to take the throne and succeed his father. Not so much try to overthrow his father, but just

announce himself, I'm the next king. And that was not God's choice or David's choice, but he tried to take that upon himself. And again, brought division to the leadership of the nation and to the people of Israel and to the family of David. And there's much more that we could work our way through as we look at the family of David and just recognize there was all kinds of trouble that that

comes back to, you can trace this back to these very difficult family dynamics that comes from these kinds of relationships. We know David as the man after God's own heart. And this evening, I would just call your attention, emphasize that word man for just a moment, that we need to remember that David, great godly man, a man after God's own heart, an example for us of pursuing God's heart is

but in the end was just a man. And in his humanity, he had failures, he had weaknesses, he had blind spots and huge blaring blind spots that were real issues for him and caused lots of problems for him and the family and the nation. He was a man who loved God and pursued God's heart, but was also weak and made mistakes and experienced the frailty of humanity just like the rest of us.

It's an important reminder that God forbids things for a reason. He tells us don't multiply wives to yourselves because there's a multitude of hurt that comes with the multiplying of wives. There's complexities and difficulties. He doesn't forbid things to limit our enjoyment.

He forbids things to limit our destruction, to limit the devastation that comes from those activities and those things. And so this evening, I would encourage you to consider that everyone needs help. There is nobody that you could look at and think, well, you know, no sense even trying to help because they don't need help.

There is everybody or there is help that is needed by every single one of us. And so in that, we need to be pursuing God's heart in how to help and ways to help and the way that God wants us to honor him and please him in helping the people that God has put around us. And so I would encourage you to be praying for the people in your life and understanding that every one of them needs help.

help in some form, in some fashion, in some capacity. And maybe like David, there's someone who just, you know, has this blind spot. They're just involved in this thing. They don't see the devastation that's coming. And I don't know if David would have received it, but man, it would have been nice for someone to say, David, this is a dangerous course. You're on a

a dangerous path here, and it's going to bring lots of difficulty. And so David was in need of that kind of help, someone to help him see from a different perspective. But either he didn't have it or he didn't listen. And, you know, both are valid ideas, but he was a man who needed help just like the rest of us.

Well, moving on to verses 6 through 11, we get point number two this evening, and that is help accomplish God's revealed will. And so now we're going to focus on Abner and see his relationship with Ish-bosheth. Let's jump into verse 6. It says, Now it was so, while there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, that Abner was strengthening his hold on the house of Saul.

And Saul had a concubine whose name was Rispa, the daughter of Ai. So Ish-bosheth said to Abner, why have you gone in to my father's concubine? Verse eight, then Abner became very angry at the words of Ish-bosheth and said, am I a dog's head that belongs to Judah? Today I show loyalty to the house of Saul, your father, to his brothers and to his friends, and have not delivered you into the hand of David.

And you charge me today with a fault concerning this woman. Here in these verses now, we see a conflict between Ish-bosheth, the king of Israel, and his commander, Abner. And it boils down to, it centers around this relationship that Abner has with one of Saul's concubines. Now, the context is a little bit lost on us in our culture, but in those days, the

A king would have his wives, he would also have his concubines, and they had their significance and importance in the role of the family, but also in the role of the nation. And it was many times the taking of a concubine of a previous king was an attempt to take the throne.

The commentator Baldwin says, to take the wife or concubine of the late monarch was to appropriate his property and to make a bid for the throne.

You might remember this in the case of Absalom when he cast David out of Jerusalem. And then he goes on top of the building for everybody to see. And he sleeps with David's concubines. It is a testimony that I am now the king. This is my property. I'm taking his place. And so when Abner has this relationship with this concubine...

Ish-bosheth challenges him and says, look, are you trying to challenge me to be the king of Israel? And it develops this conflict between them. Now, in Abner's response, he denies that that's his intention. So we don't know for sure whether or not he's telling the truth, but

Either way, he gets upset at this accusation. He is upset. He is very angry. It says in verse 8 that Ish-bosheth would accuse him of such thing. He says, look, I've defended you. I've set you on the throne. I've protected you. Remember we saw last week that David sent messengers to the men of Jabesh-Gilead and said, hey, these guys anointed me king. Why don't you join in? And in contrast to that, you know, Abner steps in and puts Ish-bosheth as the position of king. And he says, look, I've...

been working on your behalf instead of turning you over to David. And now you're accusing me of trying to be underhanded and to fight against you. And so it gets personal now. And he's offended at this accusation, even though he's been protecting himself.

From David and the reign of David, but no more. This is the final straw for Abner. This is the final straw in their relationship. And him as the king's commander. In verse 9, Abner says,

And he could not answer Abner another word because he feared him. So Ish-bosheth challenges Abner. Abner freaks out. He gets upset. I can't believe you would accuse me of that. I'm going to turn over this whole nation to David. That's what Abner says. And Ish-bosheth is like, okay. And he walks away. He couldn't answer anything. He was afraid of him. And so Abner here is determined. He's decided he's going to

Hand the kingdom now to David, the rightful king of the nation of Israel. But as I pointed out last week, we kind of did a sneak preview into these verses. It reveals something that's very interesting and important, and that was that Abner knew that God had declared and decreed that David was to be the king over all of Israel.

And so when Abner is taking the steps that he takes to put Ish-bosheth on the throne, he is going against God's revealed will. He is working against what God has declared, what God has said, what God has revealed that he wants. Now, as we talk about pursuing God's heart, this is, you know, in direct opposition to that. Abner was not pursuing God's heart when he established Ish-bosheth on the throne.

He wasn't pursuing God's heart as he is defending him and setting up his kingdom and doing all of these things. That he's not trying to please God. He's not seeking after the will of God, the honor of God, and the glory of God. He is, well, he's got other agendas and other motivations that are prompting his actions. But they're done with the knowledge. You know, it's one thing to do something that is not part of God's will because you don't know.

And that is the case. That happens all the time, that people are involved in things and they just don't know what it is that God wants, either for neglect or, you know, whatever the reason may be. But that's one thing. To disobey God in ignorance is one thing, but to know what God wants and to deliberately do something different, that's what Abner was doing. He knew God.

what God had said to David, that God had promised that the nation of Israel would, well, that would be his kingdom, that he would reign over it. And so now he makes the decision to switch sides. God wants David to be king. I'm going to help be part of that, and I'm going to hand the kingdom over to David. Pastor David Guzik says this. He says, Abner did the right thing in joining David's side, but he did it for the wrong reason.

Instead of joining David because Ish-bosheth offended him personally, he should have joined David because he knew that David was God's choice to be king. As we talk about pursuing God's heart for people that you help, your motivations are really important here.

It's not just about switching sides. It's not just about, you know, finally coming around, but your motivations and the reasons for which you offer that help and provide that help are crucial. And you need to consider and evaluate, not just is it the right thing? Is it the right help? Is it the right counsel, the right actions, the right wisdom? You know, is it the right thing? But is it also for the right reasons?

Are you looking to glorify God with your help that you provide? Are you looking to help accomplish God's will? And for us as believers, sometimes there's a lot of things in other people's lives, we don't know what God's will is for them. And so there's a lot of ways and areas that we help

but we are limited because we don't know exactly what God wants. But then there's also those areas where God has revealed in his word, and it's abundantly clear what his will is. And where God is clear, we must be clear, and we must help accomplish God's revealed will. I want to remind you this evening that love is doing what is best for people.

Love is doing what is best for people. And how much ever you or I in the moment of things might not feel like, you know, that is what's best or that's loving, love is doing what is best for people. And think about Abner. He knew what God wanted, but he didn't walk in it. And that wasn't good for Ish-bosheth.

And I could imagine being there in that situation and kind of like making a case, you know, as Ish-bosheth, like, hey, it's best for me that I become king. That's where I'm most safe, you know, because the new king would be threatened by the old king's family and wipe them out. And so probably the best thing for me is to be set up as king, you know, Ish-bosheth might say, or Abner might say, the best thing is this, or, you know, so on and so forth. But it wasn't good for Ish-bosheth.

to be in this place of authority that God hadn't called him to be in. It wasn't good for David, for Abner to take these steps and put Ish-bosheth on the throne of Israel. It wasn't good for the nation. The nation was divided. This wasn't good for anybody, although you could imagine all kinds of arguments that would make it sound like it was good for everybody. But the reality is that love is doing what is best for people.

And what is best for people is God's revealed will. Where God has made himself clear, that is always, without exception, going to be the best for you and for anyone you're wanting to help. So help God accomplish his revealed will.

Make sure that you know what God wants, that that's what you focus on. Now, people might plead for help and ask for help and beg for help. That is contrary to the revealed will of God. Even believers in Jesus, because everybody needs help, we all will have those times where we're asking people for help, we're wanting help that is not actually in agreement with God's revealed will.

And our obligation as we pursue God's heart for the people that we seek to help is to not give in to those requests, to those demands, to those pleadings for help that are against the will of God. No, what's best for the people around us, the best help that we can provide is by helping to accomplish. This is what God has said. This is what God wants and not helping someone to work against that.

Well, moving on to verses 12 through 20, we get point number three this evening, and that is commit to help honor God. This really goes along with that previous point, but in our desire to help, the only commitment that we should really be interested in making is I'm going to honor God. That's my commitment.

But we see a different kind of commitment or covenant taking place here in these verses. Looking at verse 12 and 13, it says, Then Abner sent messengers on his behalf to David, saying, Whose is the land? Saying also, Make your covenant with me, and indeed my hand shall be with you to bring all Israel to you. And David said, Good, I will make a covenant with you.

So Abner's upset with Ish-bosheth. He says, I'm switching sides. I'm going to join up with David. He sends a message to David and says, whose land is this? This is your land, David. You're the one who's called to be king. Let's make an agreement. Let's make a covenant. Let's make a commitment to one another.

And if you'll make a commitment with me, if you'll make an agreement with me, then my hand will be with you and I'm going to help you accomplish what it is that God has set before you. I'm going to give you the land, the whole nation of Israel. David hears that message and he says, yeah, that sounds like a good covenant. That's a good commitment. I want to be part of that, but I'm going to add on an addendum to that covenant and say,

In order for this to happen, in order for us to have this relationship, well, you need to bring my wife, Michelle, Saul's daughter, when you come. Now, this is a little bit of a problem because, well, Saul had given Michelle to David, but then David had to flee because Saul was trying to kill him and Michelle was left behind. David's out in the wilderness for, you know, a few years. And so Saul gives Michelle to another man to be his wife.

And so now at this time, as David is making this request, Michelle has been married to this other man for many years. And David is saying, take her away from her husband and bring her to me. And then we can make an agreement together. And so here's Abner beginning this negotiation, beginning this agreement, this covenant, this commitment to David. Now, again, I would ask you to consider is Abner seeking God's heart?

I think it's clear from the passage, it's clear from the text, he's not. He's not interested in the glory of God. He's not trying to further the work of God or the plans of God, the will of God. He's securing a place for himself. Notice he says, make your covenant with me and indeed my hand shall be with you.

He's not working on God's behalf without regard for, you know, what that ends up like for him. He is saying, I want to make sure I'm protected. I want to be, you know, there with you, David, and you agree with me, and I'll agree with you, and we'll have this commitment together. Make your covenant with me. And I would also ask you to consider the convenient timing. Going back to verse 1, David was growing stronger and stronger, and the house of Saul was growing weaker and weaker. By this time, it's clear that

we're going to lose this battle. Even though we have the majority of the nation, you know, as far as the land and the population, even though we have a bigger army, even though like we have all these things going for us, we're going to lose this battle. And it's at this time when losing is inevitable. It's at this time when Ish-bosheth has upset Abner that he decides, I'm going to switch sides. Again, it's not with a heart that is seeking to honor God, but it is

perhaps out of self-interest, recognizing we're going to lose, and I want to be on the winning side. I want to be on the right side and be protected in the midst of this. Make your covenant with me, he says. And David says, okay, good. I will make a covenant with you. They make this commitment. But again, as we think about helping people around us, our first and foremost commitment needs to be to honor God. That's our highest priority.

Now, again, sometimes people around us, when they're in need and wanting help and asking for help, there's a desperation. There's a pleading. There's a lot of pressure that can be applied. And this commitment to help honor God can be really challenged. And that's why we need to consider God's heart. It's why we need to consider these things and to make sure that our first and foremost priority is

is to help honor God. It's not a real serious situation, but I remember one of my first real difficult experiences in the workplace as far as being asked to do something that I wasn't comfortable with. And there was this loan representative that was asking me to directly lie to a customer about

who was right there down the hall. And he was, you know, telling me what to say. And I'm like looking down the hall at the customer and I'm looking at the loan office and I'm looking and I'm looking and I'm looking. I'm like, I was like in the dilemma because I'm supposed to do, you know, what he wants me to do. But it's,

I can't bring myself to lie directly to the customer like this. And even if I would try, I was like, I don't know if I could pull this off. You know, like the customer sees me standing here talking to you, you know, like, oh man, it was just, I remember it being a very difficult situation for me. I was young. And so again, it wasn't, I'm telling you and you're like, whoa, I can't believe that ever happened. Yeah. It's like, okay. Yeah. Well, that happens to everybody, Jerry, you know? Well, yeah. Yeah.

But I remember it was dramatic for me at the time. And I remember Tom Hallman was my boss at that time. And he actually, his office was next door. He heard what was going on. He intervened and stepped in and made the loan officer lie to the customer himself. But I remember that. And there was that pressure, that pleading, that, you know, just do this. It's going to be, you know, best. It's going to be better for everybody. It's going to be easiest. It's going to be the right thing, you know, if you just...

And there is this seek to compel to do something that does not honor God. And our commitment to God is going to be challenged. Our commitment to pursue God's heart is going to be challenged. And sometimes not even so much maliciously, but just out of desperation because I need help. And there is that need, that desire, that scramble for help. But our commitment, we need to check our hearts and make sure our number one commitment is not

to please somebody, to get them and rescue them and deliver them out of whatever danger or difficulty they might be experiencing. But our number one commitment must be to honor God. That needs to be the priority here.

as we face these kinds of things and seek to help the people around us. And if we're not committed to help honor God, then the help that we provide is not going to be that helpful. Verse 14, going on though, it says, So David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul's son, saying, Give me my wife, Michelle, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines. And Ish-bosheth sent and took her from her husband, from Paltiel, the son of Laish,

Then her husband went along with her to Baharim, weeping behind her. So Abner said to him, go return. And he returned. Many commentators mock this husband a little bit. Not so much him, but all the rest of our husbands around us, where we see them kind of like moping and weeping behind their wives, walking around. It could be a typical scene. Anyways, but this woman is taken from Baharim.

her husband. Is this what God wanted? Does this honor God? Is this helpful to the glory of God, to the kingdom of God? Is this part of what God desires? I think it's clear as you examine the scriptures. This is not what God would have said. God would not have called this to take place. This wasn't God's idea or God's instruction for this new marriage to be taken apart in order for David to have

F.B. Meyer, the commentator, says, We could see why David might have thought this would be good because David,

She's Saul's daughter. I'm trying to take over the nation. So this would be very useful strategically. It makes sense. It's logical. It has good reason. And so it could just be that that was his first wife and he wanted to be with her again and have her. And so he took advantage of this situation to make that happen.

But here Abner agrees to go along with this. He says, okay, yeah. And he begins to enact it. And he takes Michelle away from her husband. He tells her husband, go home. Because his commitment is not primarily to help honor God. His interests are other than that. His interests are not first and foremost the pleasing of God and the pursuit of God's heart, but something else entirely.

Now, if you want to check it out later on, you can check out Deuteronomy chapter 24, and God describes a situation where a husband and wife are married, then they're separated, the wife becomes the wife of another man now, and then they're separated, and then God says, now, that first marriage

husband and wife, they're not to be back together. That's not what I want for them. Deuteronomy chapter 24, and you can read through that and consider whether or not this is something that God would have called for David and Michelle to get back together at this time. But moving on to verse 17, it says, Now Abner had communicated with the elders of Israel, saying, In time past you were seeking for David to be king over you.

Now then do it. For the Lord has spoken of David saying, by the hand of my servant David, I will save my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines and the hand of all their enemies. And Abner also spoke in the hearing of Benjamin. Then Abner also went to speak in the hearing of David in Hebron, all that seemed good to Israel and the whole house of Benjamin.

So Abner and 20 men with him came to David at Hebron, and David made a feast for Abner and the men who were with him. Then Abner said to David, I will arise and go and gather all Israel to my lord the king, that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may reign over all that your heart desires. So David sent Abner away, and they went in peace. They're beginning to develop this covenant, this commitment that they're making to one another.

Abner brings Michelle just as David requested. They sit down. They have a good meal together. They shake hands. Yes, we're going to work out this plan and we're going to accomplish this situation. David is going to be king over Israel. But again, I would ask you to consider in verse 19, it says, Abner spoke in the hearing of Benjamin. Then Abner also went to speak in the hearing of David and Hebron, all that seemed good to Israel and the whole house of Benjamin.

The focus here is on what seemed good to Israel, what seemed good to the people. The commitment is not to honor God. What seemed good to God? Now, God wanted to give David the kingdom, but Abner's involvement was

Well, his motives are questionable, suspect, and he's not really out to honor God. And it brings about some difficulties and some problems from the get-go. We'll see that, you know, later on in chapter 4 also with Ish-bosheth, and he loses his life as a result of this whole situation. And there's all these things that happen when we don't put God first, and we don't pursue God's heart for the people that we're seeking to help.

We cause more difficulty. We cause more hurt and more harm. And we need to be focused on not what people want to hear, not what sounds good to the people around us, not what sounds good to us, not what we want, what we desire, what people are pleading for us to do or, you know, on their behalf, but what honors God, what pleases Him. And that needs to be our first and foremost commitment and priority in bringing help.

Well, moving on to verses 22 through 30, we get point number four, and that is help in a way that brings no guilt. Again, in those times of pressure where there is that request for help, that need for help, and there can be a great amount of urgency that is seen and felt and pressed upon us in those circumstances, but we need to be careful to do things in a way that we don't walk away from it feeling guilty.

about what we did in order to try to help. And there is that concept that sometimes people talk about the end justifies the means, and that's a way to kind of alleviate that guilt. Like, well, at least I accomplished, I got the help or brought the help that they needed. I was able to bring about the end result.

that we were looking for. The way that we got there, you know, that is kind of not so good. But I don't have to feel guilty because we got to the end result that we needed or that we were looking for. And that's not the way that God works and wants us to operate either. We need to help in a way that brings no doubt

guilt. No guilt, no shame, no, you know, remorse over the way that we helped, but that, again, we would be committed to honoring God even in the means in which we bring about help for the people around us. Let's jump into verse 22. It says, at that moment, the servants of David and Joab came from a raid and brought much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David and Hebron, for he had sent him away and he had gone in peace.

When Joab and all the troops that were with him had come, they told Joab, saying, Abner, the son of Ner, came to the king, and he sent him away, and he's gone in peace. Then Joab came to the king and said, What have you done? Look, Abner came to you. Why is it that you have sent him away, and he is already gone? Surely you realize that Abner, the son of Ner, came to deceive you, to know you're going out and you're coming in, and to know all that you are doing. Here we find Joab comes back into the scene.

Now again, Abner, he's the commander of Ish-bosheth's army. Joab is the commander of David's army. But during this whole interaction, it appears that Joab has been absent. He's been out on the battlefield. He's been out leading raids and he's bringing back the spoils now, but he's been gone. And in his absence, David has negotiated these things. And Abner has come and Abner has gone. And now Joab hears about it. And Joab is really upset with David here.

He's really upset with him because he's allowed Abner to come and to leave in peace. Now, there's some built-up animosity between Joab and Abner. You could think about the one commander of one army and the other commander. You could imagine there's just built-in animosity between them anyways. And now Abner's trying to negotiate and Joab's like, what, are you trying to take my position? No, I'm the commander of David's army. You're not going to be, you know, you can understand that there would be that kind of conflict.

But also we saw in the previous chapter that Abner killed Joab's brother at their last encounter. And so there is this personal desire for retribution, retaliation, revenge that Joab has also. He wants Abner dead. And so he's upset because not so much that this negotiation happened, but that Abner was allowed to

to live. And so he comes and he's, you know, I just kind of picture him yelling at David, like, what have you done? You know, he's come, he just came here to deceive you and to spy on us. And, you know, just, I just kind of imagine him flying off the handle with David and yelling at him because he's so upset over this situation. Verse 26, when Joab had gone from David's presence, he sent messengers after Abner who brought him back from the well of Syrah, but David did not know it.

Now when Abner had returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside in the gate to speak with him privately, and there stabbed him in the stomach so that he died for the blood of Asahel, his brother. Here we see Joab carry out his real desires, his real intentions and plans. He wants Abner dead. And so without David's knowledge, he goes behind David's back, sends messengers to Abner and says, hey, come back, we still need to talk. And so when he comes back,

Abner is not suspecting anything. He's just had a pleasant meal with David, and so he's kind of got his guard down. He's not prepared, and he's killed by Joab here for the death of Joab's brother. Joab executes his revenge upon Abner in a way that was really dishonorable for men of war, for commanders of armies. You know, it's one thing to die in the battlefield, but

But to die in this way was not an honorable way to die. It was a disrespectful approach to this. And

That doesn't concern Joab. His concern is he wants Abner dead. Verse 28, afterward, when David heard it, he said, my kingdom and I are guiltless before the Lord forever of the blood of Abner, the son of Ner. Let it rest on the head of Joab and all his father's house and let there never fail to be in the house of Joab one who has a discharge or is a leper or who leans on a staff or falls by the sword or who lacks bread.

So Joab and Abishai, his brother, killed Abner because he had killed their brother Asahel at Gibeon in the battle. David, he didn't know about it, but now when he hears about it, he says, oh my, there's guilt that goes along with this, but not upon me. This was not my scheming. This was not my manipulation. I did not want Abner dead. May the guilt be on Joab.

Let the guilt rest on Joab. And David really pronounces a curse on Joab and his family that, you know, there would never be one who is, or that there would always have someone who is a leper or someone who falls by the sword or someone who is starving, you know, lacking bread, that there would just always be this devastation in the family of Joab as a result of this deed that he has done in killing Abner. Joab exacts his revenge, but

It's an act and it's in a way that brings guilt, that leaves him guilty of innocent blood. Because again, it wasn't done on the battlefield. That's a different kind of death and a valid way to die and a valid time for there to be a killing that takes place. But Joab didn't handle it that way. He dealt with this in a way that brought guilt.

guilt. I think it's interesting too in verse 30. It says, so Joab and Abishai, his brother, killed Abner. Now it's clear Joab is the one who thrust the knife, but Abishai, his brother, is included, lumped into, killed Abner because he

He had killed their brother. That he was part of the planning. He maybe didn't do the actual action, didn't do the actual deed, but he was in on the plan. He knew what was going on. And so he shares the guilt of it as well because he was part of it in that way. They help in a way that brings guilt, in a way that leaves them guilty. Now, in a sense, you know, hey, their kingdom is stronger now. You know, they're in a better position to take over the nation of Israel. But

But that wasn't Joab's motivation, and it really wasn't the end result either. They helped in a way that brought guilt upon themselves. And there's going to be those kinds of situations that we face, those opportunities that we have, those dilemmas that we are faced with. There's going to be ways to help that are not actually right, but we can see the end result, and we can think and consider, oh, the end result is good.

You know, I think this is kind of seen in a lot of, like, if you look at, like, cop shows, you know, that kind of thing. And, you know, you see the cops breaking the law to enforce the law, you know, that kind of thing. Like, you know, we could all see that and justify all kinds of things. But if we're going to be pursuing God's heart,

If we're going to be looking to glorify God, to honor God with the help that we provide, the counsel that we give, the aid that we bring, you know, however it is that we're coming alongside and supporting the people around us, we need to make sure that we don't do so in a way that compromises our integrity, that compromises our convictions, that, you know, takes us out of what God has called us to or God has placed upon our hearts, but that we do

things in a way that, that honors the Lord and that leaves no guilt, that there's no shame involved in, uh, the way that we handle these kinds of things as we're helping the people around us. And again, it can sound easy as we, you know, talk about it in this context, but in the midst of a difficult situation, a lot of, a lot of times that, that, that pressure to help and that, that desire to help and the urgency that is there, uh,

you know, raises the stakes in all of these things. And it is very tempting to take those shortcuts. And it's why right now, you know, in this kind of context, when we have a moment to think clearly and to look at these things, that we would solidify in our hearts the desire to pursue God's heart

And to be seeking to help in a way that brings no guilt. To help in a way that doesn't compromise us in the actions that we take. That we don't walk away ashamed of what we did as we stand before the Lord to give account for those actions. Help in a way that brings no guilt.

Finally, point number five, we're going to finish up in verses 31 through 39. Point number five is help bring relief and not burdens. Joab's actions, what he ends up doing is he makes things more difficult for David and actually risks the kingdom for David if things are not handled well going forward. Verse 31, then David said to Joab, to all the people who are with him, tear your clothes, gird yourselves with sackcloth, and mourn for Abner.

Here as we

see what happens after the death of Abner, David steps in and takes charge. And this is where you see, you know, some of the character and the quality of David. He steps in, he tells Joab, Joab, you better tear your clothes right now. Now that was, you know, them expressing their mourning. Like, you need to go into mourning right now. You need to, he's really calling him to repentance, but you know, whether or not Joab repents is questionable. But he's saying, look, you need to express remorse for

for the loss of Abner. You need to step up. And even though you did this and you're angry, even though you did this, you know, from the position that you did it, David says, you need to join in the mourning. This is not time for you to celebrate or to be happy about what's happened. This is time for you to mourn. And it was a critical time because Abner was the commander of the armies of the nation of Israel. And you could understand if the people of Israel were

took this to heart and saw this as, you know, they're underhanded taking advantage of their commander that they could easily be offended and be turned away from David and have a further divide between them. And so David steps in and says, no, you need to mourn. And David gets personally involved. He follows behind the coffin, it says in verse 31.

This was the position that the king wouldn't normally take. This wasn't the normal position. This was a position where David's out in front and he's showing, look, I am very sad that this has happened this way. This is not what I wanted to happen. This is not what was supposed to happen. And so he makes a lament. He writes a song, a morning song. And the song is basically saying,

Abner, you died in a dishonorable way, not from your fault, not because you were dishonorable, because it was done to you dishonorably.

Again, you didn't die on the battlefield as a soldier would want to die, but you died in a way that it's just wicked men die that way. It's a way of dishonor. And so David here laments Abner for this situation. Verse 35, and when all the people came to persuade David to eat food while it was still day, David took an oath saying, God do so to me and more also if I taste bread or anything else till the sun goes down.

Now all the people took note of it, and it pleased them, since whatever the king did pleased all the people. For all the people and all Israel understood that day that it had not been the king's intent to kill Abner, the son of Ner. It was a dangerous situation, and Israel could have been turned away from David as a result of Joab's actions. But as David steps in the way that he does, here what these verses are explaining is because he behaves that way,

Because he is forefront, he's right there behind the coffin. Because he's the one telling Joab, you better mourn and weep. Because he's the one writing the funeral song and refusing to eat. Because he's taking these steps, the people observe this. They're watching David and they go, okay, okay, we can trust David. He didn't intend for this to happen. It wasn't him manipulating. It wasn't him scheming, trying to put an end to Abner. It happened and it's tragic.

but it wasn't David's doing. And so the people don't turn against David, but instead they're pleased with David. And whatever he does pleases them. That is, they find favor that, okay, they're going to give him the benefit of the doubt. They're going to give him that benefit to think it wasn't David's plan. David didn't want that to happen that way. Verse 38, then the king said to his servants, do you not know that a prince and a great man has fallen this day in Israel?

He calls it evil doing, what Joab did. He calls Joab an evil doer and says the Lord is going to deal with him. He says, I'm weak, even though I'm anointed king, even though I'm the king of Hebron. And now it looks like I'm another step closer to be king over all Israel. But he says,

but i'm weak this is this is a hard situation this these actions of joab brought about burdens and not relief to david it didn't really help him and what god had called him to or what he desired it was well it made things more difficult and for you know most of my life i always thought of joab as a good assistant but when we did the ministry minded series uh i don't know if it was last year the year before but

Taking a closer look at the life of Joab and the way that Joab relates to David, although he has some loyalty to David and he defended David in many ways, he really is not as good as he first appears to be. And it's something for us to watch out for, that we can be very loyal and we can be fiercely defending people and we can be, you know, involved in that way. And if our heart is not to pursue God's heart for the people that we help,

Even though we're fiercely loyal and I got your back, you know, and we can have people's back in a way that is not honorable to God and is not helpful. And so therefore it doesn't bring relief, but brings burdens. And we need to be careful that God is the priority and our commitment to him is the priority. To help in a way that, well, it doesn't bring guilt upon us and brings relief and not additional burdens to the people that we're seeking to help. And so this evening, I would ask you to consider, again, who is it that,

God's placed around you. Who is it that you are involved in helping in some form or fashion or capacity? Who is it that you've come alongside to support or they're requesting support, they're wanting counsel, they're looking for aid? Are you pursuing God's heart for the people that you help? Putting God first, his honor and his glory. Everybody needs help.

There's every one of us. We have blind spots. We have issues. We have struggles. We have areas where we lack, and so we need help, and there's plenty of opportunity to help. You can look around all around. There's all kinds of opportunities to help, but what is God's heart for your involvement in helping and meeting needs and being part of those situations as they unfold? Remember that God forbids things for a reason, not to limit our enjoyment, but to limit our destruction.

Love is doing what is best for people, and so we need to look on people with love and desire God's heart for them. What is it that God wants for you? You could see relief, you know, in this way or that way for yourself, but is that what God wants? Is that where God wants you to be? Our job is to help accomplish God's revealed will, to help

Bring clarity to the will of God to help reveal and declare and stand by. This is what God has said. And that may not feel very helpful at the time to someone who is wanting help. And it may not feel very helpful to you like wanting to give help. But it is not helpful to go against the will of God and what God has clearly said in his word. Our commitment needs to be to honor God. Let that be your first and foremost commitment.

Let that be the evaluation of all the help that you offer or that all the help is requested. Does this honor God? Does this please God? That has to be the highest priority and the evaluation for everything. If we do that, then we'll help in a way that brings no guilt. We won't have to walk away saying, well, at least we got the end result. But, oh man, I kind of feel guilty about the way that we got there. It wasn't quite right.

You know, I got the good tax refund, you know, for that person. But, oh, man, I had to cut some corners, you know, and just give me a couple of days. I'll be able to sleep through the night again without stressing about it, you know. Like, you know what that's like, you know, to cut those corners, to compromise your integrity and to carry that guilt. No, no, let's help in a way that brings no guilt because it pleases the Lord and honors the Lord. And when we do that, we will bring relief and not burdens. It'll really be helpful.

when we put God first and honor him above all else. Ronnie's going to come up now and close us in some worship. And as we worship the Lord, let's be considering and meditating on

the kind of help that we bring and that we offer to people around us. And you can use this time to be just seeking the Lord between you and him, to be praying for perhaps these situations. And there is a lot of times complexity and difficulty and you need to navigate these things and sort through and find out what is it that God wants. And so we can take this time to seek God for his will, for his heart.

And of course, as always, we want to be here to help one another. And so if the Lord's prompting your heart and you want to go and minister to someone or pray for someone, encourage someone, or perhaps you're the one needing help and you want to reach out, you know, this is a good opportunity to do that as well. And while we worship, you can minister to one another, pray for one another, and encourage each other in a way that honors and pleases the Lord as we worship him together. And so let's worship him and seek him together.

We pray you have been blessed by this Bible teaching. The power of God to change a life is found in the daily reading of His Word. Visit ferventword.com to find more teachings and Bible study resources.