1 SAMUEL 1 SURRENDER TO PURSUE2017 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: 1 Samuel 1 Surrender To Pursue

You are listening to FerventWord, an online Bible study ministry with teachings and tools to help you grow deeper in your relationship with God. The following message was taught by Jerry Simmons in 2017.

And really now beginning our journey into the book of 1 Samuel. Last week we did a little bit of an introduction and overview and kind of like, you know, making the way and preparing the setting. And now we'll dig into the chapters itself and look at chapter 1 this evening. Still continuing to look at that same theme though, and that's going to be consistent as we work our way through 1 Samuel, and that is pursuing God's heart.

And once again, I want to encourage you this evening to be pursuing the heart of God and putting the heart and desires and will and plan of God in the highest place of priority and passion in your life. And that's something that is modeled for us and we learn a lot about here in 1 Samuel.

Let's begin our study this evening by looking at the first eight verses of 1 Samuel 1. And then after that, we'll work our way through the rest of the verses as well. But verse 1 begins saying this. Now there was a certain man in Ramathame-Zophim, in the mountains of Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah, the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zoph, an Ephraimite.

Verse 4.

And whenever the time came for Elkanah to make an offering, he would give portions to Peninnah, his wife, and to all her sons and daughters. But to Hannah, he would give a double portion, for he loved Hannah, although the Lord had closed her womb. And her rival also provoked her severely to make her miserable because the Lord had closed her womb. So it was year by year when she went up to the house of the Lord that she provoked her,

Therefore she wept and did not eat. Then Elkanah, her husband, said to her, Hannah, why do you weep? Why do you not eat? And why is your heart grieved? Am I not better to you than ten sons?

That last question, this famous last words right there. Am I not better to you than 10 sons? As we begin to look at 1 Samuel, we're preparing the way here. God is preparing the way to introduce Samuel the prophet to the nation. And as we saw last week, the nation was in desperate need of this man of God.

They desperately needed someone who would represent to them and show them what it looks like to pursue God's heart and to be steadfast and immovable in seeking after God. And God here is preparing the way for Samuel to come on the scene. And so we're going to see the birth of Samuel here in chapter 1.

But it comes through an unexpected source in that it comes through Hannah who was barren. Now, I shared earlier today that we'd be looking at the most difficult chapter in the whole Bible. And that was not theologically difficult. That was not, you know, difficult in that sense. It's really a personal difficulty in that. For myself and Kim, you guys know us and our story. We've been married for 12 years and we want children.

but have thus far been unable to have children. And so that is a continual source of concern

You could say grief. It's a continual source of tension. It's a continual source of prayer. And it is something that is current and ongoing in our lives. And so that's why I say that this is the most difficult chapter in the Bible, not necessarily to understand, but for me to share with you, it presents some difficulties. Now, as I've been studying and praying and preparing for chapter one,

I do believe that God has provided some strength in that. And so hopefully I'll be able to share boldly and kind of clearly the things that God has put upon my heart. But also if I don't share that clearly, then you'll also understand why. I think I've shared and I don't,

Keep track, I'm sorry, you know, of how much we've shared with people and even, you know, much of our family doesn't know, you know, all of the details of some of the things that have happened. But up to this time, we've experienced three miscarriages.

And each time has been a very difficult emotional experience. And I know Kim and I experience it differently and we grieve over it differently and there's different sides to it. So I'm not trying to share on every detail or anything like that. You can see her for more information about her side. But just the first one was just a complete shock because...

it was just, you know, after so many years, it happened late. I forget exactly the timeline, but, uh, you know, we'd been married for a long time, at least five or six years, maybe seven years, something like that. And, and then finally, you know, uh, Kim was pregnant and it was like so exciting. And, you know, we, we began, we didn't tell a lot of people because, you know, we've heard the stories and stuff. And so, uh, we, we had some wisdom there, but,

But then when the miscarriage took place, man, it was just shocking. It was really out of the blue. And, you know, for not being, you know, really involved in a lot of other situations, you know, that were similar, you know, at that time, I was clueless. I had no idea how common it was. You know, I just, it was just, you know, I knew they happened, but...

how common they were. So for me, the point being was it was just, it was really unexpected. It was really, you know, difficult and just, it was hard to process. And I get mixed up on the different instances. And so some of these things might be overlapping and such, but, you know, I remember days at a time, maybe even a week at a time where like Kim and I didn't even talk

But not in anger, but just in, like, we just sat on the couch together for days, you know, just processing, just trying to grasp hold of, you know, what just happened, and what does this mean, and how much does this hurt, and how do I deal with this hurt? And then, you know, the second time, you know, now she's spreading it again, and it's like, you want to be excited, but then there's the, you know, oh man, do we get excited? Do we dare hope? And

I went ahead and got excited anyways and shared it with a few people. I remember finding out, Kim told me while I was at the pastor's conference one year in Murrieta, and so I was able to share with a couple people and we were just excited and celebrating and happy. And then, of course, to find out a little bit later that it wasn't going to happen. It wasn't going to be fulfilled. And I

At that time, I remember, you know, just trying to process that again. Just like, how could that happen again? You know, like, I see, okay, yeah. Hey, God, you're good and stuff. And, you know, things are difficult. And so I understand it happening once, but then happening twice, like,

Oh man, that's like really, you know, difficult. That's more painful in a lot of ways because now it's like you're scared to even try again because we can't continue to go through this. It's too painful. It's too, it hurts too much. And it's really difficult. And then it was a little bit later that now Kim's pregnant again, the third time.

And it's really hard to balance that like, hey, we want to hope and rejoice in the Lord, but we kind of also just expected this is going to be painful. And you don't want to be bitter and sour and just doom and gloom, but that's what was happening. And then, of course, it was fulfilled as the third miscarriage began to take place. And I think that one was the most difficult of them all so far. Yeah.

And, you know, we don't talk about this often because it is hard. And, you know, it requires kind of reliving some of the things that we've gone through that are, you know, some of the most difficult things that we've gone through, or at least I've gone through emotionally in my life. And it's a difficult thing to talk about it. And in the midst of that, you know, it's a little bit hard to talk about just because people say dumb things.

I remember in this last miscarriage going through the process and being at the hospital and the nurse saying, so what? Just try again. Like, who cares? Like, no big deal, right? And just, you know, so cavalier and so casual and just like, you know, whatever. And that was, you know...

you know, more painful than if she would have said nothing or even just said, you guys are ugly. You know, like it was just, you know, just the lack of caring and it makes it really difficult, you know, to deal with. And so this now is, you know, been a couple of years and, you know, we're still hoping, we're still praying, we're still waiting.

And in maybe some ways, I feel like, man, we're kind of in Hannah's position, you know, still experiencing the grieving, still experiencing the sorrow that Hannah was experiencing and not yet seeing, you know, that being fulfilled or that being answered. Now, I share all these things tonight because I think it's important as we talk about pursuing God's heart, right?

Because speaking again for myself, as much as I want children, at the same time, I want you to know, I want me to know, I need to remind myself, it is in God's hands. And ultimately, I do trust God for him to do what's best and to do what's good. And I want God's will more than I want children. Does that make sense? I mean, I want God to accomplish his will more

I remember being young and single, serving the Lord here at Living Water, and someone asked me, you know, hey, you know, so you're busy serving, you're doing all these things, you're teaching, you're doing all this, but when are you going to get married, you know, and kind of move on in the rest of your adulthood, you know, the rest of your adult life? And I remember thinking about that and then sharing that, you know, I will get married when I cannot fulfill God's plan for me without a wife.

That that's the priority, that it has to be God's plan first. And when I can't do what he wants me to do as a single man, well, then God will bring someone into my life and then we will go forward in God's plan. And that's not, you know, to say I'm wonderful and amazing. I fail at that a thousand times more than I succeed. But I think that's the important thing for us to keep in mind. In a similar way, I would say God will give us children

when that becomes the best way for us to honor and please and serve him. And that is the reality that I must grapple with in pursuing God's heart, that it has to be that God's will comes first. Now, we talked about pursuing God's heart and what that means a lot last week, and so I'm not going to go into all those details. But a quick reminder from Acts 13, verse 22.

where Paul refers back to this situation. And he says that God says, I've raised up for them David as king, to whom also he gave the testimony and said, I have found David, the son of Jesse, a man after my own heart, who will do all my will. As opposed to Saul, who didn't do God's will,

God found a man after his own heart or a man who would pursue God's heart. And what that means is that it's a man or a woman who will do God's will, who will put into action, who will live out the life that God wants them to live. To be a man or a woman after God's own heart is really about obedience to God. And while Saul was continually disobedient, God said, I'm going to find a man who will be obedient to

And he found David. But before that, he found Samuel. And you know what? Before he found Samuel, he found Hannah. And I think as we look at Hannah today, we have a really great example of a woman after God's own heart. Someone who pursued the heart of God. That God's will was the priority, was the passion. And as you and I seek to pursue God's heart, God's will must be the highest priority of life.

And that is going to involve a lot of surrender on our part. And so as we look at 1 Samuel 1 this evening, I've titled the message, Surrender to Pursue. In the example of Hannah, as we look at the model that she sets for us, a godly woman that God used to bring forth this man Samuel that the nation desperately needed to

What we find in her example is this great surrender that she experienced. And you cannot pursue God's will without surrendering your own will. That's just the fact. That's just the reality. You cannot pursue God's will without surrendering your will.

I mean, if Jesus experienced that, you have to know that we will experience that. There in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was praying to the Father and saying, not my will, but yours be done. Father, if it's your will, let this cup pass away from me. But we just went through Good Friday. The cup did not pass from Jesus. He drank the cup.

Because he was surrendered to the father's will. He said, not my will, but yours be done. And Jesus called us to do the same. In Luke chapter nine, verse 23, Jesus says, if anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

And so for you and I to pursue the heart of God, you need to know that it begins with surrender. And there's four things that we'll look at surrendering to the Lord this evening from the example of Hannah. The first one is found in verses one through five, and that is surrender your plans. As we talk about pursuing the heart of God, it needs to begin with us letting go of

of our plans, of our agendas, of our will, and letting God have his will. Now, as we jump in here to verses one through three, really kind of set the scene and give the context for the book and the chapter we're looking at. In verse one, again, it says, now there was a certain man in Ramathame, Zophim, in the mountains of Ephraim, and his name was Elkanah, the son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuth, and Ephraimite.

And he had two wives. The name of one was Hannah and the name of the other was Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children. And so here we're introduced to the people that God is going to be dealing with in this chapter. We have Elkanah. He is a man of the tribe of Levi, but living in the land of Ephraim.

And so if you're curious about the geography, that's kind of central Israel, right above, probably maybe 20 miles or so north of Jerusalem is where Elkanah and his family lived in the hills of Ephraim. And so he's there with his family, and it describes the family to us that he has two wives. One was Hannah, the other was Penanah.

Peninnah has children and Hannah has no children. And you could see, you know, the setup of the tension that is about to unfold.

Now, having two wives was the cultural norm, or actually having more than one wife was the cultural norm in those days. And so we see that in several instances throughout the Old Testament because it was culturally normal. It was not God's design. And so you can look at Adam and Eve as God's design, and that's where Jesus pointed back. You know, this is the model.

And as you look at the examples of polygamy in the Bible, every instance shows the issues that result from it. And so having it recorded is not, you know, an endorsement by God or an encouragement to do that. But he also records it because that's how it was. And here are the problems that unfolded as a result. In this case, Peninnah had children, but Hannah had no children. And so here is Hannah and she is barren. Now,

As much as I talked about, you know, Kim and me and our situation and the difficulty there, that is quite different from the difficulty that Hannah would have experienced not having children because in their culture, it was really seen as a curse, right?

It was seen as, you know, you must be horrible as a person that God would curse you that way. That it was looked down upon that

in society. Now, Kim and I, we can go out to the store and, you know, if we run into somebody and they kind of get to know us a little bit, oh, do you have kids? And we say, oh, no, we don't have kids. You know, they don't spit in our face and walk away, right? We just continue the conversation. In their society, though, it was like, whoa, you know, back away. We don't want to be struck by what you have. You know, it was considered a curse for them because of the importance of children for them. Now,

the importance of children for them was for a variety of reasons. They were an agrarian culture, so they survived off agriculture. Essentially, they lived off what they were able to grow and trade and eat of what they grew. And so essentially, it was like this. The more kids you had,

The bigger company you ran. You could kind of think of it that way, right? I mean, you know, if you grew from five employees to 12 employees, you know, that's a good growth. And so, you know, their kids would be the ones who would help them work the farm and work...

the fields and be able to produce. And so it helped them and it was necessary for them to have children in order to survive, in order to have, you know, work to be done and food to be harvested and for them to be able to live. And so for that reason, children were incredibly important. But also they placed great importance on there being an heir to carry on the family name.

And so to not have children and to not be able to carry on that family name was, it was a tragedy, you know, it was a horrible situation to be in as far as they were concerned. And so there always needed to be that heir and they would be desperate to, you know, have an heir. And you

You kind of see that happen in the account of Abraham and Sarah and how that all works together. You know, that desire, that need to come up with a way to have an heir to carry on the family name. Along with that, they were the tribes of Israel. And so they had all been given allotments of land within the nation of Israel. And so...

if there was no children, then there was no one to carry on that family inheritance and to maintain the land. And it would go to some other family because there was no inheritance, no heir for that property. And so that was also another factor. And then, of course, there was the promise of the Messiah. And if you had no children, then you had no opportunity to bring forth the Messiah. And so

It was seen as a curse. It was seen as a horrible thing. And so for Hannah, she was barren. This was, you know, something that she lived with. It was kind of a mark, a scar, culturally, socially, that she would have to live with, as well as personally and all the, you know, more the personal painful things that she would have gone through and the hurt and heartache within that she would have experienced as well.

And so what we see here introduced in these first couple verses is a family with issues. But this family with issues, I think it's interesting, was still faithful to worship God. Verse 3, this man went up from his city yearly to worship and sacrifice to the Lord of hosts in Shiloh. Also the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas, the priests of the Lord, were there.

Now, the city of Shiloh was the place where the tabernacle was set. It was also in Ephraim, so probably nearby for Elkanah and his family.

And the Lord had prescribed every year, there's these three feasts that you go and you celebrate and you sacrifice and you feast together and have these times of remembrance of what God has done. And so here it's describing every year they would go through that. So three times a year, they're going to the tabernacle and participating in these feasts and they would sacrifice to the Lord of hosts. They would worship the Lord. And we'll see that a little bit more in detail in the coming verses.

And so Shiloh was kind of the center. We always refer to and know Jerusalem. At this time, Jerusalem has not yet been conquered. Jerusalem is still inhabited by the Jebusites. And so here we have this as where the tabernacle is. This is kind of the center. They don't really have a capital, but if they had a capital, this would be it. Shiloh was the

the place where the tabernacle was. That's where you went to meet God and spend time at the feast. And that was the case for a couple hundred years. And so it was established, you know, this is the place to go and to meet God. And so they would go regularly, faithfully, year by year, as they were called to do by the Lord, and they would worship the Lord there. Now, it also mentions Eli and his sons. We're going to take a closer look at them next week. And so I'm not going to spend time on them right now.

Verse 4. And so here describes as they would go.

to sacrifice to the Lord that he would give portions to all of the children, as well as Peninnah, as well as a double portion to Hannah. Now, what this is describing and what we need to understand is that most of the sacrifices were actually feasts. We kind of don't think of it usually that way in our minds, or at least I don't. You know, like a sacrifice is something like you just, you put it on the altar, it all gets burned, and you know, you just watch it burn. And

And that was true for the burnt offering, and it was true for the sin offering, but there was many other sacrifices that would be offered, like the peace offering and thanksgiving offering. And these were actually, it was a piece that was given to the priest, there was a piece that was put on the altar, but the bulk of the animal that was sacrificed was

actually was roasted or barbecued or, you know, boiled. And there was, you know, a cook-off, essentially, you know, a feast that would take place. And so picture a big picnic table and Elkanah and his two wives and all the kids are all sitting around this picnic table. And as he's giving them portions, that's their portion to eat. That's their feast. And

And if you can imagine sacrificing a bull or some type of lamb, it's a feast. A feast is not an exaggeration. It is a feast. It's a huge chunk of meat that's given to each one and they're able to just

really have a good meal and enjoy their time together, their fellowship with God. And they would do that nearby the tabernacle. And so again, it was a fellowship with each other as well as a fellowship with God as the whole family gathered around and each family member served from the sacrifice. But here it records that Hannah was given a double portion. So he portioned it out for each one, but Hannah was given extra because it says that he loved her

even though she was barren. He loved Hannah, it says. Now, understanding the culture, and it doesn't say this directly, but it's very likely that Elkanah married Hannah first and then later married Peninnah because Hannah was not having any children.

Because again, going back, it's really important to have heirs, to have children. And so that is a likely scenario that he loved Hannah. She was his, you know, first love, first wife, but she wasn't producing kids. And so he had to, not had to, but, you know, in his mind, had to, you know, actually add on to his number of wives in order to be able to have offspring, to have heirs, to carry on the name.

And so what we're seeing here is, well, an unfolding of their plan. That is, their plan was to get married, have kids, and then live a fruitful life, Elkanah and Hannah. That was their plan. But that plan did not work out. And again, that's why I worded the point this way, surrender your plans. Because what they had planned, what they desired, their agenda, their thoughts for life was one thing, and what God had in store was

was something completely different. And notice it was what God had in store because in verse five, it says, he loved Hannah, although the Lord had closed her womb. Notice, notice why Hannah was barren. It wasn't just random. It wasn't just, well, you know, we live in a fallen world. And so there's issues, there's sicknesses, there's diseases, there's deformities there. There's these issues because we live in a fallen world. There,

That is the reality. There's a lot of things that we experience in life that are the result of living in a fallen world. But here the Lord's indicating there's more to it than that in this case. It's not just the natural course of things as a result of sin. This is a deliberate work of God that he closed Hannah's womb. He shut the doors. He prevented pregnancy. He stopped pregnancy.

Hannah from being able to have kids. So much so in verse six, this is repeated. It talks about her rival, which is her, you know, other, his other wife says he, her rival also provoked her severely to make her miserable because the Lord had closed her womb. So there in verse five and six, twice we're told this is, this is something that God did. He is God.

At work, unfolding his plan, which is not their plan. And if you're going to pursue the heart of God, here's what you need to know. His plan is probably not going to be your plan. In fact, in Isaiah chapter 55, God tells us, my ways are higher than your ways, right? As high as the heavens are above the earth. That I do things differently. And in order for you to pursue God's heart, if you're going to put God first and be seeking to please God and live out the will of God, you need to know that

It's going to come at the laying down of your plans. It's going to come with prioritizing God's will over your own will. And your plans, like Hannah's plans, might include marriage, might include children, might include a home, or a job, or education, or TV, or baseball, or whatever. But

We all have plans. We all have dreams and hopes and agendas and things we're working towards and things that we want. But when it comes to pursuing God's heart, we must be willing to lay all of those down, no matter what they are and how much we want them. Some of those plans might be in line with God's plans. And so great, you know, when your plans align with God's plans, you

you know, you, well, you're blessed because they're going to be fulfilled. But many of the things that we plan and desire are not part of God's plan. Are you ready to surrender in that regard? Willing to let go? What if that's not God's plan for you? And so we can see that pursuing God's heart can be incredibly hard.

And yet at the same time, we could see through this passage and many others we could look at, of course, that it's worth it. The call to die to self is real and it's painful and it's hard, but it's worth it. The call to lose your life in order to find it, it's hard, it's painful, it's costly, but it's worth it. But there has to be the surrender. And so again, I would share with you just personally that, hey, God will give us children when that becomes the best way for us to honor and please God.

and serve him. Now, if God gave us children, that would honor and please me, right? But what about pleasing God? See, that has to be the priority. That has to be first. And I need to be willing to lay down all of my plans, all of my dreams, all of my hopes, and whatever I want to surrender my plans to the plans of God. Pastor Dave Guzik puts it this way, God would use the closed womb of Hannah

and the pain from being childless to accomplish something great in her life and in the whole plan of salvation. Even though things were hard, God was still in charge. God was still in charge. His plans, that's really what matters. That's really what needs to be the focus. And even though things are hard, even though things are painful, even though things are difficult, and all of our hopes and dreams fall apart, God's still in charge.

And we need to surrender our plans and our agendas and our will to his. Well, moving on to verses 6 through 18, here we have point number two. The next thing we need to surrender in order to pursue is our emotions. Surrender your emotions. Pursuing the heart of God, I spoke about it as prioritizing his will over your own.

but also prioritizing God's will over our feelings. Or you could put it another way, what pleases God over what pleases me. Now, as we look at this passage, Hannah experienced some very hard emotional difficulties. I mean, painful, excruciatingly painful. We have it recorded in a couple of verses, but it's a lifetime that she's actually living. And

You know, sometimes as Dave mentioned on Friday, it's important to like stop and remember that these aren't just stories. They're not just like, you know, little accounts that, but to put yourself in the situation of the people involved and understand they were living this, that this was actually happening in their life. This is what their life looked like. And for Hannah, she was experiencing some pretty intense emotions. She had, well, I'll,

break it down this way, personal grief. She had provoked grief, which we'll see from Peninnah. She had loneliness, as we'll see. Elkanah really didn't understand what she was going through or what was going on. And then also she's misunderstood by Eli the priest. And there's probably a lot of other things that you could factor in there. But just a few examples from what we're looking at here in the example of Hannah. That personal grief, first of all, just understanding her desire to have children. But

not able to have any. Understanding the hopes and dreams and all the thoughts that she had and those, you know, diminishing and realizing it's never, you know, going to be the way that the grief, the sadness, the sorrow that she experienced was very real. And I would ask us to consider, are you willing to prioritize God's will over your feelings? So that even if it means that the sorrow of

The hurt, the heartache of not experiencing what you hoped and not wanting, not getting the things that you've been wanting and not experiencing the plans that you've had and the emotions that go with that. It's not just the lack of, you know, that plan being fulfilled, but there's emotions that go with that. There's heartache that goes with that. And sometimes we allow those feelings and those emotions to,

to be the decision makers. Because I could tell you, man, I've experienced a lot of hurt that I never want to experience again. But God may call me to experience it again. And I need to be willing to prioritize God's will over how I feel. And if God calls me to hurt, then I need to go through the hurt to please him.

Because that's what matters. That's pursuing God's heart. And here we have Hannah who's experiencing personal grief, but not just that. She also has on top of that provoked grief. Verse six and seven, it says, and her rival also provoked her severely to make her miserable because the Lord had closed her womb. So it was year by year when she went up to the house of the Lord that she provoked her. Therefore she wept and did not eat.

Here provoked grief. That is, she has this lady next to her. She's stuck with her, married to the same man, poking her with a stick. Every opportunity she gets. And then notice what it says in verse 7. So it was year by year. So this isn't, you know, for a couple of weeks Hannah had it really bad. You know, it was really tough. This is years of grief. Years of weeping. Years of

Years of sorrow, years of hurt, years of heartache. Again, I ask, will you prioritize God's will over your feelings when it's years of sorrow and years of grief and years of weeping? Peninnah was a wicked lady. And you'll see that in Hannah's song next week in chapter two. But she was a wicked lady.

to bring this hurt. Now, you can understand where it came from, as there was jealousy, as Elkanah loved Hannah, right? So there was this jealousy, but she was wicked, and she is provoking her, it says in verse 6, she provoked her severely to make her miserable. And so Hannah spent

several, many, we don't know the exact timeline, but she spent years being miserable in order to live out the plan of God, the purposes of God, the will of God. Are you willing to prioritize God's will over your feelings? Are you willing to be miserable for years in order to please God, to pursue the heart of God? And so here you have Hannah. I mean, she is just

She is hurting greatly. She has her own personal emotions that she's experiencing. She has this provoking that's just bringing those things up and not letting them die and making it harder and harder day by day, month by month, year by year. They go to these feasts and they're supposed to be celebrations as they just rejoice in what God has done and how God has provided for them. And she can't even eat.

In verse 8, it says, And then he says, And here's where I say the loneliness comes in. Hannah had to feel so alone. Because Elkanah, like most guys, he's just like, Hey, I'm good to you. What do you have to cry about? Yeah.

Like my dad used to say when I was a kid, hey, I'll give you something to cry about, right? You know, he wasn't that mean at least. But it's like, listen, what are you crying about? I'm good to you. Look, I give you a double portion. You could double meat, you know, double, double. Isn't that better, you know, than 10 sons? And it says that he loved her. So no questioning that. But communicating and expressing that love, he wasn't so great at, right? She had to feel so alone. He just didn't get her.

I'm sure Kim felt that way many times too. It's pretty common for us guys. I apologize to all you ladies on behalf of all us men. He says, why is your heart grieved? Why don't you eat? I'm good to you. You have a good life. Why does this still bother you so much? And again, although he loved her and although he was, you know, poor at expressing it, on her side, just that loneliness. And you know what it's like to be hurting someone

And to have those, like, it's one thing to suspect, like, nobody really understands really what I'm going through. It's one thing to suspect that. It's another thing when it's actually told you to your face. Why don't you just get over it? And it's like, oh, you really don't understand how much this hurts. You don't understand what I'm, and you feel all alone. You know what that's like. We all do. And Hannah is experiencing that to a great degree.

Now again, will you prioritize God's will over your feelings in those kinds of circumstances when you're hurting greatly and people are provoking you severely and the people closest to you, perhaps your husband or your wife, don't understand what you're going through and it adds to that hurt that you're already experiencing. And then finally,

We also see that she's even misunderstood by her spiritual leaders. Now I'm going to breeze through these verses pretty quick, but verse nine, it says, so Hannah arose after they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh. Now Eli, the priest was sitting on the seat by the doorpost of the tabernacle of the Lord. And she was in bitterness of soul and prayed to the Lord and wept in English, English.

Then she made a vow and said, O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your maidservant and remember me and not forget your maidservant, but will give your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life and no razor shall come upon his head. And we'll come back and look at those few verses. But verse 12, and it happened as she continued praying before the Lord, then Eli watched her mouth.

Now Hannah spoke in her heart, only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, how long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you. But Hannah answered and said, no, my Lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but I've poured out my soul before the Lord. Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief, I have spoken until now.

Then Eli answered and said, go in peace. And the God of Israel grant your petition, which you have asked of him. And she said, let your maidservant find favor in your sight. So the woman went her way and ate and her face was no longer sad. Here, as we continue to read, Hannah, at one of these feasts, she gets up weeping.

sorrowful. Elkanah saying, why are you crying still? You know, I'm better to you than 10 sons. And so she leaves the table. They continue feasting and enjoying themselves. She goes to the tabernacle and she is crying out to God. And here again, this is why I'm kind of, you know, putting Hannah as an example and a model for us, because in all of the hurt and the difficulty and the things that she went through, she took that to the Lord.

She really was a godly woman. She wasn't bitter in the sense that, you know, she was running from God or hardened against God. She was hurting, but she went to the Lord. And so she goes and she's crying out to God and God's doing a work in her as she's just crying out to him and pouring out her heart, she describes it, to the Lord. Now, while that's happening, here's Eli the priest, not such a great priest, we'll see, but

He's watching her and he's seeing her moving her lips and everything, but there's no actual words coming out. And so he assumes she's drunk. Now that kind of speaks a little bit towards the condition of the nation. That was probably something he saw regularly, drunkenness, as we'll see again, the activities of his sons in chapter two. But it also speaks to the dullness of Eli and

in his spiritual discernment and understanding because, well, as we'll see in chapter three, you know, the word of the Lord had not been heard. You know, it wasn't widespread that he wasn't really in tune with what God was doing. And so he sees the situation and he thinks she must be drunk.

And to her, that's a pretty serious accusation. She says in verse 16, do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman. So it's not just, you know, oh, you've had a little bit too much to drink. You know, that kind of, she's understanding this is a serious accusation. And she says, I'm not a wicked woman. I've just been pouring out my heart to the Lord. And so her high priest says,

doesn't understand what she's going through and misunderstands and even accuses her of things that she's not involved in. And so in all of these things, you see pretty intense emotions that Hannah's experiencing. Personal grief, provoked grief, loneliness, being misunderstood even by the high priest. And yet she handles all of this in a way that is pleasing to God.

Even in the midst of her hurt and heartache, she's not lashing out and destroying Peninnah. She's not fighting back, you know what I mean, and provoking her back. She's not making Elkin asleep on the couch because he doesn't understand her emotions and feelings and what she's going through. I don't know, maybe she did. But she's not behaving in a sinful way. She's not reacting in a sinful way. She's hurting greatly, but she's also greatly desiring forgiveness.

to pursue the heart of God. She's wanting to be faithful to God. And so she goes to the Lord in prayer. And this is important to know. And I want to always point this out as often as I can. Emotions are not bad or wrong. As much as we talk bad about emotions and feelings, they're not bad or wrong, but how we handle them is the key to that. And so many times how we handle the emotions is really the issue.

Will you prioritize God's will over your feelings and not let your feelings dictate what you do, but let God's will and what pleases God dictate and determine what you do? She was in bitterness of soul, and so she prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish. That's the right way to handle. We are to cast our cares upon the Lord, and we could talk a lot more about that, but I think you get the point. We need to surrender our emotions.

to lay down how we feel and let God's will, let God's word, let God's instructions and his call be the priority over how we feel about it, over how much it will hurt, over how difficult it will be, over how much grieving we've had, how long we've been grieving. We can't let those things determine what we do. To pursue God's heart is to put God's will first. Are you ready to surrender?

Well, moving on to point number three, still in those same verses though, verses nine through 11, surrender your heart.

If you're going to pursue the heart of God, it means that you're going to have to surrender your own heart. And by heart, I'm kind of referring to, you know, the things that are most important to you. Check out verse 9 again. It says, So she didn't eat at the feast because she was heartbroken and grieving and crying. But now she goes to the tabernacle.

In verse 10, It's describing this great hurt, this great pain within, within her soul, or we would also refer to it within her heart, that it's that depth within her. This is not a surface issue for her. This goes to the core of who she is.

And later she describes it in verse 15 as she was pouring out her soul before the Lord as she went to this time of prayer. She was surrendering her soul, but not in the way that Jesus like gave up his spirit and said, okay, you know, it's finished. But she was pouring out her heart. She was just laying it all out. She was giving it all over to God.

She was sharing her hurt. She was sharing her pains. She was sharing with God her hopes and her dreams and her plans and all those things. And she was pouring it all out. She was not just listing, God, this bugs me and this bugs me and this bugs me.

But it was a surrender, as you can see in verse 11, because now she makes a vow and says, And so what she does here is she is surrendering her heart in the sense that her heart is to have a child. But here she says,

And pouring out her heart to the Lord says, Lord, I'm giving it to you. It's up to you if I have a child or not. But if I do, I'll give him to you. He'll be yours. And you can do what you please because that's what I desire. I want you to be pleased. I'm hurting and I'm pouring out my heart in the complaint, but I'm also, I'm surrendering my heart to you. What's most important to me, what I want the most, what I desire the most is

I'm just completely giving it to you. And she makes this vow to the Lord. Now, I'd like you to think about this a little bit. As we look at this vow, of course, you might have like some ideas in your head about, you know, maybe some times where you've made some promises to God. If you get me out of this situation, God, then I will do this. You know, that kind of thing.

I would suggest to you, this isn't really that kind of situation where she's like bargaining with God. I would encourage you, don't necessarily think about it that way, that she's just trying to get what she wants, you know, by offering a deal that God can't refuse. Here's how I would ask you to consider it. I would suggest that Hannah is responding to what God is speaking to her heart. That's why she makes this vow.

It's not just some random thing that popped in her head that she said. It's not just one of a thousand things that she threw out as negotiation tactics, you know, with God. Like, okay, God, if you do this and I'll do, you know, it wasn't that. This was all in response to God prompting her heart. This was God bringing her to the place where she'd be willing to let go. And so he's been speaking to her. We don't know for how long.

But I would suggest he's been speaking to her. It doesn't say it directly. So that's why I keep saying I suggest. But I think it's a reasonable inference from the passage that this is not, remember who closed the womb? This wasn't just some random, you know, hey, we live in a fallen world situation. God closed her womb until this point where she makes this prayer.

And I would not suggest that she came up with the means to finally arm wrestle God into bending to her will and giving her the son that she wanted. No, no, this was God at work. God's will, God's plans. And he's speaking to her about this. And here in this time of prayer, even though she's hurting, even though it's the most difficult thing she's ever gone through in her life, she breaks. She says, okay, God, I give, I give.

I mean, I don't know how I'm going to do this. I've wanted a son for so long. I've wanted a child for so long. And now you want me to give him to you. I don't even get to keep him. But okay, God, I'll surrender my heart. If that's what you want, I'll do that. I want to pursue your heart. And that means I'll surrender mine. I'll give it up. It's okay. Yes, I give. I give in to your will. Hannah is responding as God is speaking to her.

She didn't come up with this idea. God's been speaking to her. God is the one working this out because God's heart is to call a corrupt nation back to himself. She didn't understand the whole plan, but she knew this much. God's speaking to me about coming to this place of letting go, surrendering, and as much as I want this child, I can't have him. If God gives him to me, he needs to belong to the Lord. I'll give him to you, God. He'll be devoted to you.

He'll be a Nazarite. No razor will touch his head. This was God at work preparing the nation, preparing Hannah, bringing Samuel to the right place at the right time. And in order for that to happen, Hannah had to surrender her heart and submit herself fully to God's plan. She didn't just surrender, but she really committed herself to God's plan as she made a vow. She promised God, I will do this. You're prompting my heart. You're speaking to me.

I will do this. And she had to be willing to give up the thing that her heart desired the most. Are you ready to surrender? Pursuing God's heart will require a surrendering of your own heart. Not everybody is asked to do exactly what Hannah did, but to some degree, we're all going to have to lay down our heart. It's going to cost us all greatly. It's going to be

It's going to be difficult. It's going to be painful. We have to die to ourselves. And there's no way around a crucifixion without the pain and the hurt and the heartache. But the willingness is important. We have to be willing to surrender. And in the end, it's worth it. And we trust God for that. But I heard a pastor recently share, he says, you know, whenever someone comes up and asks if this thing is God's will for them, he said, you know, they already know the answer. They're

They're just not willing to accept it. Isn't that true? So often, like, we know those things that God puts on our heart and it's like, oh, but I just, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't. I'm not there yet. And so many times, God's speaking to our heart like God was speaking to Hannah's heart. Are you willing to surrender your heart and to really give in and let go of those things? Well, finally, point number four, we'll finish up in verses 19 through 28. The last thing to surrender is your life.

In order to pursue the heart of God, we must surrender our life. This is really the real test of the previous point. Surrendering your heart. I'm sure we've all experienced that, where you have that emotional experience and you break and you say, yes, Lord, I'm yours, whatever you want. But then, you know, then comes the next day. And now is the test of, will you really obey God in real life, in your actions? Will it be demonstrated?

by how you live? And are you going to make those or put those promises that you made into effect and actually live them out? And that is going to be the most challenging part, I think, for Hannah. In verse 18, it says, and she said, let your maidservant find favor in your sight. So the woman went her way and ate and her face was no longer sad. Now I know this point started in verse 19, but I wanted to hit verse 18 once again, just to say, look,

She went back to the feast. Her family's all there, still enjoying the feast while she's there praying and pouring out her heart and all this stuff is going on. She breaks, she surrenders to the Lord and then she goes away free. And listen, when you finally break and you surrender to God, listen, as much as it hurts to lay down your heart, there's also such great relief and joy and freedom and comfort and hope.

When you surrender to the will of God, surrender your heart and now surrender your life. Verse 19, then they arose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord and returned and came to their house at Ramah and Elkanah knew Hannah, his wife, and the Lord remembered her. So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son and called his name Samuel saying, because I've asked for him from the Lord.

So verse 19 and 20, the victory verses, right? Like, woo, okay. They go home, have a baby. Everybody lives happily ever after, right? Well, again, let me just remind you, this is happening in real time, in real life. Notice how it says even in verse 20. So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived.

I would suggest Hannah is not just, you know, always living without sorrow, you know, day by day. It kind of indicates it wasn't necessarily on the first try that she became pregnant, but in the process of time, she conceived. In the process of time, there was some delay. There's some time. And listen, God pretty much always works in the process of time. There's some exceptions where he works supernaturally out of time and

You know, kind of like the servant sent by Abraham to find a wife and he's praying the prayer, Lord, help me find the wife. And then he opens his eyes before he's finished praying. She's there, right? That happens from time to time. Those are really rare. Usually it's through the process of time. And as much as we hate that, that's typically how God works. And we need to be willing to surrender our life. That means not just one time, okay, I surrender my life, but that means...

through the process of time, to maintain that life of surrender, to maintain that surrender of self, that it can be really hard for us. God takes his time sometimes, but he takes his time because he's working during that time. It's behind the scenes, it's under the surface, but he's at work during that process of time. He's not just waiting, you know, just kicking back and doing nothing, and then later on he's going to get to work. He's working, but we have to trust him.

Through the process of time. And when we don't see the things happening and the promises of God and the things that we wanted or God said or we expect from God, when we don't see it happening, we need to understand God is working through the process of time.

Verse 21,

And so their custom as a family was to go to the feast every year. They went, they went, they went, they went. But now she stays back. She's had a baby and she says, I'm going to keep them all to myself and I'm not going to give them to the Lord. No, that's not what she says. No, she says, it's just, it's not time yet. He needs to be weaned. And they would usually, uh,

wean their children between two and three years old, depending on the situation, as you would understand. And so she's waiting for him to be basically old enough to kind of be a little bit self-sufficient so that she can fulfill her vow and turn him over to the Lord. But again, try to imagine how difficult this must be for Hannah. She made the vow while she was sorrowing greatly. Now she has this baby boy in her arms. Right?

and she has to live it out. See, the breaking and the making of the vow, that was the easy part. Now comes the hard part, where she has to actually live with this boy for two or three years, and then fulfill her vow and give him to the Lord. This is real surrender. This is what it's going to take to pursue God's heart, not just for Hannah, but for all of us.

And we all know what it's like to commit something to the Lord. It's easy to commit stuff to the Lord, but then give up because it's hard, right? We all know what that's like. But listen, to pursue God's heart, that means that we are going to actually surrender our lives.

and live lives of surrender, that it's actually lived out by what we do, by the choices we make, by the behavior that we have, that it actually is not just words, it's not just a broken heart, it's not just emotional experience, but then in real life, we do the will of God, and we seek to please God, and we make choices that honor God, and we actually do what we committed to God that we would do. And so Hannah, she's gonna have to go through that.

She's not trying to get out of it. She's just, you know, it's not the quite right time yet. But also the process of time is going to make this even more difficult. In verse 23, so Elkanah, her husband said to her, do what seems best to you. Wait until you have weaned him. Only let the Lord establish his word. Then the woman stayed and nursed her son until she had weaned him.

I think this is a good verse to consider without digging in too greatly. What we see here is a unity between husband and wife. This is not Hannah just operating on her own. She gets to do whatever she wants. Elkanah is on board with this decision, with this commitment, with this vow. In fact, it's very specific. It's a vow that she made, right? In Numbers chapter 30, God made provisions for if the husband hears about a vow the wife makes,

The day that he hears of it, he can annul that vow. And so he could have said, nope, Hannah, you're not giving our son. If we have a son, you're not giving our son to the Lord. That's ridiculous. You know, you're just emotional. You know, stop crying and eat your food already. That he could have responded that way. But you see, again, this is a work of God. And he is with her in this decision. And he says, okay, do what's best.

And notice, only let the word or let the Lord establish his word. Again, Elkanah is a good example for us, again, of pursuing the heart of God. That he's on board. Yes, let's be on board with what God is doing. We want to fulfill his will and be pleasing to him. And so, sure, let's wait and then fulfill the vow that was given to God. Verse 24, now when she had weaned him,

She took him up with her with three bulls, one ephah flower, and a skin of wine and brought him to the house of the Lord in Shiloh. And the child was young. Then they slaughtered a bull and brought the child to Eli. And she said, oh my Lord, as your soul lives, my Lord, I am the woman who stood by you here praying to the Lord. For this child I prayed and the Lord has granted me my petition, which I asked of him.

Therefore, I also have lent him to the Lord as long as he lives. He shall be lent to the Lord so they worship the Lord. Here, when the time came for the rubber to meet the road, Hannah surrenders her life. And she actually does in real life what she committed that she would do, what she told God she would do, what God called her to do. She actually does it.

God spoke to her. He moved her heart. She was broken. But now when it comes time to actually do it and understand this was probably more difficult than many of the other things that she's experienced prior to that, when she actually has to let go. And I wonder how she wept. I wonder how she hurt. I wonder what heartache she experienced. This was a real surrender of her life. That's what it's going to take, guys, for us to pursue the heart of God.

I'm not saying that God won't give us joy and peace and love and, you know, all the, sure he will, but we have to be willing to do it God's way, to walk in God's plan. And the things that we want, that joy and love and peace, and our way of getting it is the short-sighted way, which has long-term bad effects. But God's method, it costs us now. There's sorrow now. It's hard now, but it has eternal benefits now.

And so we have to walk by faith and trust God's way over our own way and be willing to surrender to him and let go of those things that we've been trying to hold on to. We have to be willing to do that because his ways are better than our ways. And so this is a horribly gut-wrenching situation. But then notice in verse 28, as she says, I've lent him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he's given to the Lord.

But then it says, so they worshiped the Lord there. And even in the midst of this heartache and hardship and now fulfilling this vow, it's all connected to their worship of God. We want to honor God. We want to please God. I like the way that Dave Guzik describes it. He says, worship is a repeated characteristic of this family. Even in difficult situations, they can worship the Lord. Praising God on the day that you give your little son away may not be easy.

but it is praise God is pleased with. And again, that's what pursuing the heart of God is all about. It's seeking to please God. Are you willing to surrender? Are you ready to surrender your plans, prioritizing his will over your own, putting his will, his plans at the highest priority that you want what he wants, even if it's not what you want?

And if it is what you want, great. Want what he wants. But walk in those plans. Prioritize his will over your own. Like Jesus saying, not my will, but your will be done. Are you willing to surrender your emotions? Prioritizing God's will over your own feelings. Even if they're incredibly intense and they've lasted for years. That personal grief, that provoked grief, that loneliness, that being misunderstood. Of course, there's a whole range of emotions that we could talk about.

But putting God's will and pleasing God at a higher priority than getting out of those emotions, getting rid of those emotions, getting past those emotions, but going through the process of time with those emotions according to what God has for us, surrendering our emotions to the Lord, saying, they're yours. I hurt, it hurts, it's hard, it's difficult, but it's yours, God. You know, you know, and you know what's going on.

I'm going to put your will first. Are you willing to surrender your heart to give up the things that you desire the most, the things that you value the most, the things that you're holding onto? Are you willing to break and say, okay, okay, okay, I give, I give. That thing you've been speaking to me about, Lord, I'll let it go. I'll release it to you. If you want me to have a son, I'll have a son. If you don't want me to have a son, I'm giving that to you.

And Lord, if you give me a son, I'll give him back to you. That's okay. I'll do what you want me to do. I'll do what you're prompting my heart to do. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I'll do it. And then moving from there to actually live it out in real life, to not just saying words, to not just making the prayer. And you know, we all know how it is. You mean it when you say it, but then when it comes to actually doing it, that's, it's a different story. But to pursue the heart of God, you're going to have to surrender your life.

It's going to have to be lived out in real life, not just emotional experiences, not just things that you say, not just commitments that you make, not just your expression of desire or want. You know, I really want to. I want to. I want to. We all want to. As Jesus said, that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak, right? That we understand what that's like, but that's what it's going to take to lay down our lives. Jesus said, if you want to follow after me, deny yourself.

Take up your cross and follow me. That's the only way to pursue God's heart. It's through surrender. Let's pray. God, I pray for each one of us here and each one hearing this, God, that you would help us to really prioritize your will over all that we want and desire and hope for and dream and plan and all of our purposes and all of our wishes, God.

I pray, Lord, that you would allow these things to be really used by you to bring clarity and revelation where, Lord, we've been convinced that we're pursuing your heart, but in reality, we've not been pursuing your heart and we're not willing to surrender and lay down these things that we're holding on to. God, I pray that you would show us the clarity on those things.

And Lord, it might be similar to Hannah's situation or it might be a completely different situation. But Lord, you know what's going on in our hearts. You know your plans for us. And they're good plans, not to hurt us, to give us a future and a hope. I pray, God, that you would help us to trust you enough, to believe you at your word enough that we would be willing to surrender and lay down what we want and our desires and

trusting and knowing that you will provide and do what's best for us. And so God, I pray that you would help us to place ourselves completely and solely right in the center of your hand, to be completely yours, willing to put you first, to prioritize your will over all else. God, teach us how to please you and help us, God, to go beyond just these things that are happening in our hearts right now between us and you.

Lord, help us, give us strength to then go from this time and actually put into practice these things that you're speaking to us, to live out lives of surrender in real life, in real time, even when it takes a while. Help us, Lord, to really do it. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

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