NUMBERS 5:5-8 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU WRONG SOMEONE2015 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: Numbers 5:5-8 What To Do When You Wrong Someone

Well, this morning, as we look at this passage, it's really a special message. And

and maybe it doesn't apply to everybody. And so, you know, as we get started, if you want to take off, if you feel like this doesn't apply to you, because this message is only for people who have ever wronged somebody else. And so if you've never wronged somebody and never hurt somebody, then, you know, you don't really need to worry about the things that we'll be looking at today. But if I was to take a quick survey by a show of hands, which I won't,

But if you have ever wronged somebody or hurt somebody, all of us would raise our hands, right? It's something that we all have experienced. You have hurt people. You have done wrong. It has cost people things. It has hurt them. They have been harmed because of your sin, your mistakes, and the things that you have done.

And that's what we'll be looking at this morning. The title of the message is, What to Do When You Wrong Someone. The Bible gives us some very practical things, steps we can take, how we should respond whenever we have harmed or hurt someone with our wrongdoing.

And so we'll look at three points this morning about what to do, and then I'll finish up with kind of a side note as well related to this idea of doing or what to do when you wrong someone. But as we start talking about this, it's important that you understand that God cares about how you treat people. You need to know that God is very concerned with, He is

carefully paying attention to how you relate to the people around you. And sometimes we get the idea in our heads that, you know, we can be a jerk to everyone around us as long as I read my Bible and pray, I'm okay. But that doesn't work that way.

God wants us to have good relationships with the people around us. It matters how you relate to them. Whether we're talking about people that are believers or unbelievers, God wants you to have good relationships with them and for you to take care of things whenever they go wrong. Paul will tell us in Romans chapter 12 verse 18, and I'll refer to this verse a few times this morning,

He says, if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. This is what God desires for you. For you to do your best, to do your part, as much as depends on you, to live peaceably with the people around you.

And when that piece is broken, when that piece is broken because of our wrongdoing, God wants us to take some steps to make it right. And so the first point this morning found here in Numbers chapter 5 verses 5 through 7, point number one, step number one is confess your sin.

God wants you to confess your sin. Let's look again at verses 5, 6, and 7. It says, Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, Speak to the children of Israel. When a man or woman commits any sin that men commit in unfaithfulness against the Lord, and that person is guilty, then he shall confess the sin which he has committed."

And so here God is speaking to Moses and he's giving instruction to Moses about how his people are to relate to one another and how they're to deal with situations where those relationships are broken.

And so he says, if anyone commits a sin, now he says men or women, so this is, you know, not specific to a particular gender. Anyone, man or woman, commits any sin, so not, you know, only this kind of specific sin, but any sin, he says it's unfaithfulness to the Lord. But then you'll see in verse 6, he's talking about the type of sin where you wrong somebody else.

And so we understand from this, it's wrong to do wrong to people. It's both a sin against God, as well as a wrong to that person to do wrong to them. Whether we're talking about believers or unbelievers, God is concerned with how you relate to one another. And to do wrong to somebody else is to sin against God.

Do you remember the two greatest commandments? Jesus talked about them in Matthew chapter 22. The lawyers were there questioning Jesus about what the greatest commandment was. And Jesus responded and said, the greatest commandment is to love God with all of your heart and soul and mind and strength. And then he said, the second commandment is like it. And that is to love your neighbor as yourself.

So Jesus says, of all the things that you are concerned with, here's the two most important things. Number one, love God. And number two, love your neighbor. And to do wrong to somebody is to break that command to sin against God by not loving your neighbor as you love yourself. And so when we do wrong to someone, we sin against God as well as that person.

I think it's interesting as God is telling these things to Moses, he uses the word when and not if. He says when someone sins in any way. Not if there is, you know, some type of sin or if you sin in some way. In other words, this is going to happen.

It's not a question of whether or not you are going to hurt people with your sin. That's guaranteed. That is going to happen. You can expect that to happen in your life. You will wrong people. Also, looking back, you should know, it's guaranteed, you have already wronged people. There's things that you've done wrong. And people have been hurt. They've been harmed as a result.

And so this is what God is talking about. Those situations where you've done wrong, you've harmed somebody. And then notice in verse six, he says, and that person is guilty. Now he's not talking about being guilty in like the legal sense. He's talking about feeling guilty. In other words, you've done wrong. It's in the past, but you still feel bad about it. Your conscience is bothering you.

One commentary put it this way, your conscience smitten. Your conscience is smitten. It's troubled. It's bothering you. And you have this conviction over the wrong that you did. Now, a lot of times people will experience this type of guilt, this type of conviction, and

they will leave it unresolved. They'll try to ignore it. They'll try to pretend, you know, that it's not there. They'll try to not deal with it at all. But here God is saying, look, when you have that sense of guilt, when you experience that conviction, even though it's in the past, if God is bringing it up in your heart, well, there's something that he wants you to do to deal with that wrongdoing.

In Matthew chapter 5, Jesus was talking about a situation where someone brings their gift to the altar. That is, they're coming to worship God. And they're going to offer a sacrifice to God. And as they're doing that, they're confessing their sins to God. And Jesus says, while you're doing that, you're bringing this offering, you're bringing this sacrifice, you're thinking about what you have done and what God has done.

He says, if at that point you remember that some brother has something against you, you remember that somebody has something against you because, well, you've done something wrong. And so they have this kind of outstanding issue with you. Well, he says, if that's the case, if that happens, then leave your gift at the altar. He says, first go be reconciled and then come and offer your gift.

Take care of things first with your brother before you come and worship God. Here we get the sense of these things are important to God. He wants you to pay attention to your relationships. And if you have this memory, it comes up. Yeah, it might have been in the past, but you remember God's brought up this issue once again. He says, go deal with it. Go be reconciled. And so when you have that sense of guilt, when you have that conviction that comes and

God wants you to take some action. When you have done wrong to someone and you experience that guilt, God provides this way to deal with that guilt. He says, confess your sin. Confess your sin. I think far too often we let things go unresolved. There's been issues in the past. Maybe even there's issues in the present.

But maybe we don't like confrontation. Maybe we don't like admitting that we're wrong. Maybe we don't, you know, want to face the facts. But God desires for us to deal with these things. But the problem with trying to just ignore it or put it off till later is then we carry around this sense of guilt. And it's a heavy burden. It's costly to our hearts. It's costly to our minds. It's costly to our lives.

And so God gives us this way to resolve the guilt, to deal with it. He says in verse 7, Here's what we need to do. Step number one, you're feeling this guilt, you've done wrong to someone. Step number one is confess the sin. It is wrong to do wrong to people, whether they're believers or unbelievers.

This idea of confession is not about telling someone your sin, but the idea of confession is to agree with God about your actions. When you confess your sin, you stop making excuses. You stop saying things like, well, I wouldn't have done that, but she or, but he, and so you're blaming, you're making excuses, you're saying it's not my fault, but

I wouldn't have done that if, you know, it wasn't for those other people or that other situation. Those are excuses. When you confess your sin, you start to own it. You accept responsibility for it. You acknowledge your sin and you stop doing the wrong thing because you agree with God. You say, yes, God, I agree with you. That action is wrong. And so you stop practicing that sinful thing.

You might remember when David was confronted by the prophet Nathan. David had committed some pretty big sins, but he tried to just ignore it and pretend like nothing happened and left it unresolved for about a year. He had committed adultery with Bathsheba and then he plotted and planned the murder of Bathsheba's husband to kind of resolve the situation.

And so that was successful and Uriah was put to death. David left that issue unresolved until Nathan was sent by God to confront him. And so Nathan came and shared a parable with him and got David engaged in the parable. And then as David cried out in judgment against the person in this parable, Nathan said, you're that man. You're the one I'm talking about.

And David responded in 2 Samuel 12, verse 13. He says, He didn't say, well, you know, this was really Bathsheba's fault. If she wouldn't have been bathing on the roof and I wouldn't have seen her, you know, then all of this wouldn't happen. It's really her fault. He didn't try to excuse it. He didn't try to explain it away. He owned it. He acknowledged his sin. He said,

And that's what confession is all about. It's agreeing with God. My actions are sinful. They're nobody else's fault. I took those actions. They're mine. And I did what was wrong. And so when you have done wrong to someone, the first thing you need to do

to bring restoration, to restore that relationship is confess your sin. Acknowledge, I have sinned against the Lord. Now, this subject is a little bit difficult to teach on because there's so many variables. You know, sin makes things really messy.

And so we could, you know, harm or hurt people or sin against people in so many different ways. And so I'm not going to try to cover all the examples or, you know, even give out, you know, a ton of different ideas. But I would ask you to consider these things because, well, God will stir up within you those things that he wants you to address. You'll have that sense of guilt. And

And when you experience that guilt, when you experience that conviction, don't try to just like push it down or ignore it or put it off. But God's bringing that up in your heart because he wants you to deal with it. He's saying it's time to make these things right. It's time to confess your sin. And so when you have wronged someone and have that sense of guilt, confess your sin. If it bothers you that you hurt them,

then God has provided a way to deal with that guilt. You don't have to carry it around. Don't go for a long time leaving it unresolved. If you ignore it, it's not going to go away. Instead, acknowledge your sin. Don't excuse it. Don't explain it away, but confess it. Well, as we look now at verses 7 and 8, we see the second point for this morning. Step number two.

to make things right when you've done wrong to someone. Step number two is to make restitution. Make restitution. Check out verse seven again. He says, And so here's God says, okay, now next thing. First you confess your sin. Now you need to make restitution.

And you need to make restitution in full. The word restitution is not one that we use a whole lot anymore, but it's an important word to know, or at least it's an important concept to know. Restitution, it means to pay back what was lost. It means to pay back and to restore that which was lost. So the idea would be if I stole your phone,

Restitution would be for me to give your phone back to you in the same condition in which I found it. So if I steal your phone and then I crack the screen and I give it back to you, that's not restitution. But if I crack the screen, get the screen fixed, and then give it back to you, that's restitution. Or if I've sold the phone or lost the phone or dropped the phone, then restitution.

Another form of restitution is I give you the value of the phone so that you can replace what you lost. And so restitution is this idea of making someone whole again, putting them back in the position that they were in before you harmed them, before you stole from them or took from them or whatever it might be.

And so it's returning what was taken or replacing the item or the value of the harm that was given. Now, restitution is part of repentance. And we'll talk about that more in just a moment. But you might notice here in verse 7, he says, he shall make restitution for his trespass in full. So the full price, the full cost of the harm that was done. But then notice he says, plus one-fifth of it.

So God says, make restitution, pay back in full, but add 20%. So again, if I stole your phone,

Restitution would be for me to give that back to you in the same condition in which it was before I got involved and took it. But now add 20% on top of that. So maybe I buy you a charger or a case or something to go along with it as I give it back to you. That's what God's saying here. Give back what was taken, replace, restore what was harmed, but add 20% to it.

So that the person is not just restored to where they once were, but now you've given a little bit extra as well because of the sin that you have done against them.

I know that there will be those who will kind of squirm at this idea. Like this is kind of, you know, legalistic, Jerry. I mean, this is the book of Numbers. That's the Old Testament. We're in the New Testament. We don't have to follow these things. On Wednesday, we looked at Romans chapter 6 and talked about how we are not under the law. As believers in Jesus Christ, we are not under the law. Paul taught that. We saw that in Romans 6. We'll see it again this Wednesday in Romans chapter 7.

But here's what we need to understand. As believers in Jesus, we are not under the law in the sense that we don't try to approach God by keeping the law. We don't try to approach God by our good deeds, by following all the laws that he has placed there for the nation of Israel in the Old Testament. That is not the method of approaching God or keeping

receiving his blessings or having the hope of salvation or the promise of eternity. And so in that sense, we are not under the law. But we can't also just throw out the law. That's not what God wants either. The law is good, Paul teaches there in Romans chapter 6 and 7. It is good. It is useful. And I would suggest to you that the law is really great at revealing God's heart. It

It's really great at showing us what God desires and what he intends for us and designed for us to have the life that he wants us to have. And so the law is really good at revealing those things for us. And so when it comes to keeping the law, that's not the requirement for salvation. That's believing in Jesus Christ and receiving the full payment, the price that he gave for us there upon the cross.

But when it comes to walking with God and experiencing the fullness of what He has for you, there's a lot of things in the law that God would say, you know, that's really good for you. And that's what I want you to follow. So it's not that if you don't pay back restitution, you can't be saved. But if you want to experience the fullness of the life that God has for you, if you want to be set free from the guilt and the burden that you carry, God says, here, let me show you how to do that. Make restitution.

And hey, while you're at it, add 20%. Pay back what was taken. Pay back what was lost. Restore that harm and then some. You've hurt them. Now try to help them.

Now, this isn't buying off people. So don't take it to the other extreme, okay? So, yeah, I'm really sorry I said that. Here's 20 bucks. You know, send you some flowers because I made a mistake. Or, you know, I'll buy you a car because I wronged you in that way. It's not buying people off or paying people off. That's not what it's about at all. Restitution is tied to repentance. It's part of repentance, right?

I like what J. Vernon McGee says about repentance. He says, many people today think that repentance means shedding a few tears and then going merrily on their way. He says, they shed tears, but there's no turning from sin, no turning to God, no restitution to the one they injured. And he says, for this reason, there is no progress in their Christian lives. This is really accurate. There's a lot of Christians who think repentance is just about

showing some emotion, shedding some tears, apologizing well, and then you just go on your way. But you need to understand that repentance involves more than that. Repentance is not just saying sorry, and it's not just feeling bad. Repentance involves turning around and making things right. Paul the Apostle provides a great description of real repentance in 2 Corinthians 7. And I want to read to you verse 10 and 11.

Paul says, And so there's different kinds of sorrow. You can be sorry, but if it's a worldly sorrow, it just produces death. Yeah, you feel bad, but it doesn't accomplish anything. But godly sorrow, he says, that produces repentance.

And then he describes repentance in verse 11. He says to the Corinthians, he says, observe this very thing that you sorrowed in a godly manner. And he said, what diligence it produced in you. What clearing of yourselves. What indignation. What fear. What vehement desire and zeal. What vindication. He says, in all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter.

As he describes the repentance of the Corinthians, he says, look, observe your repentance, Corinthians, and see how it motivated you. It produced this repentance and repentance was this action. There's all these powerful words here. He said there was this indignation, this vehement desire. There was this vindication. You are on a mission to make things right. He says to prove yourselves clear in this matter.

Now, when he says prove yourselves clear, he's not saying, you know, you were excusing it. You were, you know, trying to show that you were innocent, that you weren't guilty. But he's saying you were doing everything that you could to make things right, to do what was right. That's repentance. Repentance is to stop doing the wrong and then to work to make things right.

If you are sorry, but then continue to do the wrongdoing that is hurting and harming others, that's not repentance. You might have sorrow and it might be legitimate sorrow, but it's worldly sorrow that produces death. Godly sorrow produces repentance, which causes you to stop doing the wrong and to make things right, to work to make things right.

And so he says, he shall make restitution for his trespass in full, plus one-fifth of it. And then at the end of verse 7, he says, and give it to the one he has wronged. Part of making things right is to bring this restitution to the one that has been harmed. And this requires some face-to-face time. And this is a lot of times, I think, why we leave these things unresolved in our lives.

Because we don't want that face-to-face time. We don't want to have that conversation. It's a difficult conversation. It's hard to admit to yourself that you have sinned. But then to acknowledge that, to discuss that with the one that you've harmed can often be very difficult. But listen, God wants you to reconnect with that one that you've wronged.

He wants you to give that restitution to that one that you've wronged. That means that you're going to have to sit down with them. You're going to have to spend some time to bring reconciliation to your relationship. I mentioned earlier in Matthew chapter 5 where Jesus talks about bringing a gift to the altar. And if there you remember, oh man, I didn't even realize then. I didn't recognize what I was doing, but...

I've harmed my brother. I've hurt my brother. I've sinned against someone. Jesus says, go first, be reconciled to your brother. That's a priority. Go first, be reconciled. Before you come and worship, before you come and serve the Lord even, go first and reconcile. Go sit down, go make that contact, sit down face to face and try to work things out.

Now, this is true across the board. This is, again, whether we're talking about people around us that are believers or unbelievers, this is the way that God wants us to behave. When we have wronged someone, we need to make restitution. We need to reconcile, to connect with those who have been wronged.

But also I want to just give a little bit more particular application and speak to you husbands and wives and encourage you in this as well. Husbands and wives, this is something that God desires in your relationship with each other. Again, many times we just try to ignore things, you know, especially, you know, a husband and wife relationship because it's so close and you spend a lot of time together. You just kind of think, well, if I bring that up,

And it's just going to bring up all kinds of stuff. If I try to deal with that, it's going to bring up all kinds of issues. And I don't know if I want to deal with all that. Or sometimes when there has been this wrongdoing...

You just kind of want to let things blow over, you know, like, okay, he'll cool off, you know, she'll calm down and we'll wait a couple of days and, and then they'll forget about it. And, and we just kind of leave it unresolved and just try not to think about it. You know, we kind of bury it and hope that it doesn't come up again. Listen, that's not what God wants for your marriage. That's not what God desires for you. When you've done wrong and you're wrong has harmed, has hurt your spouse.

You need to sit down and have that conversation. You need to confess your sin, first of all, and then make restitution. You need to work on that reconciling and have that discussion. Now, this can be a little bit difficult, especially as we're talking about, you know, like a marriage relationship or any other kind of relationship too. But a lot of times the wrong that we've done has hurt, has harmed us.

but there's not a specific monetary value that you could put on it. So if I steal your phone, that's easy because I could just replace the phone. But other wrongdoings, there's not money that was lost, but it was harm or hurt in some other ways.

And so you're going to have to seek the Lord on that. And you're going to have to spend some time with the one that was harmed, the one that you wronged, to work out how to make restitution, how to make things right with the one that you have wronged. You cannot always make restitution with money. Only when it's money that was, you know, the result or the consequences of the wrong that you did. But

And a lot of other ways, whenever there's been wrong done, you're going to have to work out what does it mean? What does it look like to make restitution in this situation? But regardless of what that looks like, ultimately, the point is God wants you to make restitution. And so you need to have that discussion. Don't let it go unresolved. Now, God knows us pretty well. And he knows how we love to look for loopholes. And we love to try to get out of responsibilities.

And so we put off making restitution. We put off these conversations thinking, well, if I wait long enough, they're going to forget about this. Or if I wait long enough, then, well, they're going to die and I won't have to deal with it. And you go, well, that's kind of extreme. But that's what he's talking about here. Check out verse 8.

He says, but if the man has no relative to whom restitution may be made for the wrong, the restitution for the wrong must go to the Lord for the priest in addition to the ram of the atonement with which atonement is made for him. So God says, look, you've done this wrong. You feel guilty about it now, but some time has passed and that person's not around anymore. They've died. They've moved. They're out of the picture. You don't know where they're at. So God says, you're off the hook. No, he doesn't say that.

If they've died, if they've moved, you've lost track of them. That doesn't leave you off the hook. He says, try his relatives. Try to find someone close. And if you can find someone close, then make restitution to them. Pay back the wrong to them. Take care of those things with them. And if you can't find the family, well, he says, you're still not off the hook. Then bring that restitution to the Lord. And so God's making it very clear here. Restitution is important.

This is something that is really important for God's people. He wants us to make things right. Because it's not just about someone who has been harmed being restored and taken care of because of the wrong that was done to them. But restitution also is about us. Again, it's part of our repentance. David Guzik puts it this way.

He says, the payment of restitution was just as important, if not more important, for the guilty one paying as it was for the victim receiving it. It's not just for the victim, not just for the one who's been harmed, but it's just as important, or he suggests maybe even more important, for you as the one who's done the wrong, that for you to pay back

for that wrong, for you to make restitution and to work to make things right, that's important for you. And as you do that, as you practice that repentance, God's doing a work in you that you need, that needs to be done. And so when you wrong someone, first things first, you confess your sin. Then God says, make restitution. Don't try to ignore it. Don't just let it blow over

When you have that sense of guilt, even if it was for something that was some time ago, it bothers you. God's bringing it up again. There's that conviction because he wants you to do something about it. There's some work that he wants to do in your heart. And so work to make things right. Work to make restitution. Again, Romans chapter 12, verse 18. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Live peaceably with everyone around you. But notice he says there, if it is possible, as much as depends on you. The implication there is that it's not always possible. But Paul says, as far as you're concerned, you do your best to live at peace with everyone around you. Now, as we talk about this idea of restitution and reconciliation, there's one more thing I'd like to share about that. And that is that reconciliation is

is not always going to be on your timeline. So you have this sense of guilt. You've done this wrong. You want to go make things right. So you sit down with the person and you say, you know, the Lord's brought this awareness. I can see now, maybe I didn't see it before, or maybe I saw it, but I didn't care. But now I'm at the point where I would like to make things right. And so can we have that discussion? Let's talk about, I'm really sorry for what I did. I know it was wrong. What can I do?

How can we resolve this? How can we make things right? You start that discussion, but that doesn't mean that the person who you wronged is ready to finish that discussion. It may take some time for them to be able to process that, to receive that apology, to understand the restitution that needs to take place.

And of course, for us, we just want to fix it. By the time we get to that point, it's like, I just want to get it fixed. So give me a dollar amount. How many flowers do you need? And then I'll get that number of flowers, maybe plus one more. And then it's settled. But you have to understand, you did the wrong. You afflicted the harm. And healing takes time. And so you need to be patient and understand that reconciliation is going to happen over the process of time.

Often it's not immediate depending on the hurt and the harm that was afflicted. There's going to be some time that happens and there's going to be some processing that has to take place. And so you do your part and as much as depends on you, you work to make peace, but you can't force it and you can't blow up and make things worse when it's not happening in your timeline. You're going to want desperately for everything to be resolved immediately and

but it doesn't work that way. You afflicted the harm. Own the responsibility and bear that burden of the time that it takes for reconciliation to take place. Well, the third point, the third step in making things right when you've done wrong to someone, looking at verse 8, point number 3, is receive Christ's atonement.

There at the end of verse 8, he talks about restitution for the wrong must go to the Lord for the priest. He says, in addition to the ram of the atonement with which atonement is made for him. Here God's saying, look, you have to make things right with everybody involved. First, you have to make things right with you. And that's confession. Confession is about you making things right. It's about you acknowledging that God is right.

And so that's setting your own heart right first, acknowledging your sin. Secondly, you have to make things right with the one that you wronged, and that's restitution. But now you also have to make things right with God, and that's atonement. Now, for the Israelites back in Numbers chapter 5, of course, that involved bringing the sacrifice that God prescribed in the Levitical system.

For us today, we of course have a different sacrifice that has been offered already once for all. And that is the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. That Jesus has paid the price for our sin. There's no longer need for us to offer sacrifices to make atonement with God. But we can have right relationship with God

By believing in Jesus Christ and receiving the payment that he made on our behalf there upon the cross. And so to make things right with God, we believe in Jesus. We receive his work. The apostle John tells us, if we confess our sins, he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. As we confess our sin and acknowledge our sin to God,

He's faithful to cleanse us. And so I would encourage you to receive Christ's atonement. Receive what he did for you upon the cross. He paid the price for sin. You still have to work on the restitution with the person involved. But as far as God is concerned, you have full access to God and right relationship with God as you receive by faith the work of Jesus Christ. As you believe in Jesus.

You have atonement. Sometimes people pronounce it this way, at-one-ment. That oneness with God is restored. You have right relationship with God because of what Christ has done for you. So receive that. Don't try to offer more sacrifices to God. Don't try to, you know, well, okay, God, I'm going to try to run these hundred laps or give this extra hundred dollars or do this good deed or something to try to... No, you just receive.

what Christ has done. Receive the grace and the mercy that he extends to you. Believe in Jesus Christ. That's what it's all about. And sometimes the enemy or our own hearts will continue to condemn us. And so John later on in 1 John 3 says, if our heart condemns us, he says, God is greater than our heart. So receive Christ's atonement and recognize sometimes my heart condemns me when God doesn't.

And so I got to trust God at his word. As a believer in Jesus Christ, as I receive what he did for me upon the cross, I'm cleansed from all sin. And I have right relationship with God. And so I need to let God's word override my heart in those conditions. And so when you wrong someone, here's what God wants you to do. Confess your sin, make restitution, and then receive Christ's atonement. Amen.

But I want to finish off this morning with another aspect of this idea of wrongdoing and those who are being harmed because I'm sure there's some who are asking the question the other way. Not what do I need to do if I've wronged someone, but what do I need to do if someone has wronged me? And I'm not going to go into detail here. I'm just going to list a couple things and I would encourage you to seek these things out.

with the Lord on your own. So what if I have been wronged? Well, first off, I would say, if it's an unbeliever who has wronged you, then I would ask you to consider what Jesus taught us. He says, love your enemies, do good to them and pray for them. So if it's an unbeliever who has wronged you or is wronging you and constantly does wrong towards you, love them, pray for them, do good to them. That's what God wants you to do.

But if it's a believer who has wronged you, if it's a believer who is doing wrong to you, well, then there's some other actions that we can take. Now, should I, as a believer, say, you know, Numbers chapter 5, make restitution. All right. So Ronnie sinned against me. So I'm just going to write him up a bill and say, okay, here's how much you owe me, dude. Demand restitution because you've sinned against me. You've wronged me.

Is that what God desires? Should we demand and try to force people to make restitution? No, that's not at all what God desires. When Paul wrote to the Corinthians in 1 Corinthians chapter 6, he rebuked them because they were taking each other to court.

trying to get each other to pay them back for wrongs that had been done. And Paul says, this is an utter failure for you to do that, for you to take your matter between believers before unbelievers to destroy your witness to try to get some gain or to try to get these things fixed. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6, verse 7, he says, why do you not rather accept wrongs

Why would you rather not let yourselves be cheated, Paul says. I mean, that's pretty hardcore, right? He says, look, it's important. Your witness before unbelievers is important. You're not supposed to try to force each other to make restitution. You can't force that. You can't make that happen, especially as it blows your witness, as it removes your opportunity to share the gospel with those around you. So he says, it's an utter failure if you're trying to do that. Just let yourself be cheated.

value the gospel more than whatever harm was done to you. But so what are we to do then if a believer has wronged us or sinned against us? Well, Jesus gave us instruction for that in Matthew chapter 18. In verse 15, 16, and 17, I'm not going to read it, but you can check it out later. Jesus says this, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him just between the two of you,

Now, a lot of times as believers, we completely ignore this passage. And instead of going to tell that person just between us, we go and tell everybody else except for that person that has done the wrong. And Jesus says that's backwards. That's not what you ought to do. Instead, you go sit down with that person. Now, we might say, but I'm the one who's been wronged. I mean, they should initiate. They should start. They should be the one. And yes, they're wrong.

As we just talked about in Numbers chapter 5, that is what God would say. But if they're not doing that, then you need to go sit down with them and say, you know, you're sinning against me. You're doing this wrong. Now, notice Jesus uses the word sin. If he sins against you, go tell him his fault. So this isn't like, you know, well, I prefer you wouldn't do that or you hurt my feelings, but it's not a sinful action. There was one time,

I was driving in San Bernardino and I got into this left turn lane and as I got into the left turn lane the light turned yellow so I stopped. Now the lady behind me that got into the left turn lane behind me she didn't want me to stop she wanted me to go forward and so when I came to a stop she like freaked out and I don't know quite how to describe it to you but I've never seen anybody freak out in a car as much as I've seen this lady freak out.

She kind of had frizzy hair, so maybe that exaggerated. Plus, I was looking through my rearview mirror, so maybe I don't have the best, you know, most accurate picture. But, man, arms were flailing everywhere. She looked like she was pounding on the ceiling. She was screaming at me, shaking her fist out the window at me. I mean, she really wanted to hit that light. And I didn't do anything wrong. I stopped at the light like I was supposed to, right? But...

But sometimes, you know, people are offended or if you would have asked her, you know, if I offended her, if I did something wrong, she would have said yes. But I didn't actually sin. I came to a stop when I was supposed to come to a stop, right? And so sometimes there's people who hurt our feelings, but it's not sin. They're not doing something that is sinful. And so we need to be careful that we don't try to, you know, make everybody, you know, live in such a way that they never hurt our feelings.

But that we address sin. That when there is sin that's ongoing and there's sin that is taking place, that we take the time to sit down with that person one-on-one and say, you know, this is the situation. This is the hurt. This is the harm. And I want you to know about it. And Jesus says, if they hear you, then you've gained your brother. There's that reconciliation, that restored relationship. And so for you, whether you are the one inflicting the harm or receiving the harm,

God's instruction to you is basically, go sit down with that person. Have that conversation. Paul said in Romans chapter 12, if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. But what's interesting is the verse before that, he says, repay no one evil for evil. So don't pay them back because they've been hurting you, but instead,

As much as you can, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. And so this morning I would encourage you. Do you have relationships that are out of line? Some things that are broken? Whether because of your wrongdoing or for somebody else's. God wants you to know this morning, you know those relationships are important. And God cares about how you treat one another. He wants there to be peace. And so this morning I would encourage you to make peace.

Make peace as much as it depends on you. Do your best. Work to make things right and to work things out with those where the relationship has been broken. Let's pray. God, I pray for each one of us here this morning. And I pray that you would help us, God. Lord, in those areas where you are bringing up and resurfacing some old issues, perhaps, some areas of guilt. Lord, I pray that you would help us to take the steps that you've prescribed here.

to go forward, to resolve that guilt, that it wouldn't be carried with us for the rest of our lives, but Lord, that it would be taken to the cross, that we would be dealt with and that restitution would be made. Lord, I pray for relationships that are broken or being broken right now and even in the present, for situations that are happening and ongoing right now. I pray, God, that you would help us.

to respond to your word and to do what you've called us to do and to not ignore those things or put them off. Lord, I pray for marriages. I pray that you would help husbands and wives to be able to resolve things and not let things go unresolved for so long until there's that explosion at the end. God, I pray, Lord, that you would help us to be obedient to your word, to deal with our wrongdoings.

And Lord, also to do with the wrong that is done to us according to what you've prescribed. And so help us, God, to be obedient to you, to bring peace to those relationships. And Lord, we look to you as the model. Lord, we were in violation of you. We were against you. We were sinning against you. And yet you loved us. Even when we didn't deserve it, even when we didn't care about you, Lord, you gave yourself.

You died upon the cross for us. And so, Lord, help us to receive that, to receive your forgiveness, to receive the promise of eternity by believing in you. But then also, Lord, help us to extend that same thing to the people around us. Lord, that we would bring peace as much as is possible, as much as depends on us, that we would bring peace to the relationships in our lives. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

We pray you have been blessed by this Bible teaching. The power of God to change a life is found in the daily reading of His Word. Visit ferventword.com to find more teachings and Bible study resources.