PROVERBS 312007 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: Proverbs 31

You are listening to FerventWord, an online Bible study ministry with teachings and tools to help you grow deeper in your relationship with God. The following message was taught by Jerry Simmons in 2007.

Tonight is exciting because we get to finish off the book of Proverbs. And I don't know about you, but I have been so blessed by our study of the Proverbs. I've learned so much, many valuable lessons, great things for us to remember and hold on to, and things that I'm sure I'll be referring back to for a long time to come. It's one of those books...

You know, many people have the habit of reading through the book of Proverbs each month as they read corresponding to the date of the of that month. You know, they read that chapter of Proverbs. And I think that is such a wonderful practice because so many of these things are lessons we know, but quickly forget and need to be reminded of. And man, throughout the Proverbs, we've been reminded of many of the same things already.

over and over again, but how often they're so timely and speak to us differently because of where we're at. And so I would encourage you, even though we're finishing on Wednesday evenings, to continue to study through the book of Proverbs. We'll be working on getting the MP3 CD out over the next couple of weeks. So if you would like to listen back to some of the messages and stuff that we covered in the book of Proverbs, you'll be able to do that.

But the book of Proverbs is all about wisdom as we share every week, week after week. Wisdom is not how smart you are. It's not how high your IQ is, how intelligent you are, how far you went in school. Wisdom is not anything like that. But wisdom is all about how well you receive instruction and correction.

Wisdom is all about how well you live by the principles that God gives us in his word. And so as we finish off the book of Proverbs, as we finish off chapter 31, I want to encourage you and remind you to have wisdom. Take the things that God speaks this evening, the principles that he gives and receive them, receive the correction and the instruction. Put them into practice in your life because that is real wisdom.

It's living by God's word. It's not about intelligence or smarts, book smarts or street smarts. Wisdom is receiving, believing and living by the word of God. And so we start Proverbs chapter 31 with verse one, which says the words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him.

This last chapter is by this guy named King Lemuel, or really by his mom, but he's passing on and sharing with us what his mother shared with him. Now, much of the book of Proverbs is written by the king named Solomon, who I'm sure you're familiar with, the one who is given wisdom by God supernaturally and powerfully. But who is this King Lemuel? Well, honestly, no.

We really don't know. He's not mentioned anywhere else in the scripture. There's lots of debate and discussion about who this gentleman may be. There is no king in Jewish history, the kingdom of Israel or the kingdom of Judah, by this name. There's some speculation perhaps he was a neighboring king of one of the neighboring countries or areas. But most scholars believe, and actually what Jewish tradition says,

is that this king, King Lemuel, is actually Solomon. And this name Lemuel was a name that was kind of a pet name that was given to him by his mom. It's how his mother referred to him. And maybe your mother has a pet name for you.

I'm not sure if my mom has a pet name for me, and I don't know if I would share it if she did. But this is perhaps a pet name or kind of a beloved name that she had for him. And so many believe that it is Solomon. But whoever he is, these are the words that his mother taught him. And that's something we've covered quite a bit in the book of Proverbs. In fact, from the very beginning, Proverbs 1, verse 8 says,

Solomon says, my son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother. The principle, the doctrine or really the commandment to honor your father and mother is something that that Solomon covers in the book of Psalms.

in great depth throughout the book of Proverbs, over and over again reminding us to remember the commandments of our parents, to remember and keep the instruction and correction of our parents, of our mother and of our father. And so this is a great demonstration of a king, of a man who kept his mother's instruction even to the point that he could relate it to us in this final chapter.

So here's what his mom had to say. Verses two and three says this. What my son and what son of my womb and what son of my vows do not give your strength to women nor your ways to that which destroys kings. His mother said.

As he is growing up, as he is being raised, as she is training him up in the ways of the Lord, is giving him instruction and sharing with him, son, you're going to be a king or perhaps already you are a king. And you need to take very careful consideration to how you live and what you pursue and what you involve yourself in. She says to him, do not give your strength.

to women. What does she mean by that? Obviously, she's not talking about muscle. You can't give your muscle to women. That's not what she's saying. But she's saying instead, don't give yourself to chasing women. Don't give your life, your wealth, your resources, your vitality to

Two women, not a woman, but two women. The idea is someone who is chasing or or a womanizer, someone who's sleeping around. It's kind of like what Samson did. Only Samson literally did give his strength to a woman because he was womanizing.

Being with woman after woman after woman with this woman, with that woman, until it destroyed him and his strength left him. Judges chapters 13 through 16. And this is the idea that she is sharing with her son. Don't give your strength. Don't give yourself. Don't let your life go down that path of being with this person and then that person and having that the goal, the focus of your life. Essentially, mom saying, don't be a player.

You know, the saying, hate the game, not the player, you know, something like that. She's saying, don't do that. Don't even be a part of that. That's not to be your life. You're not to pursue those things. You're not to be sleeping around. Don't let your life be destroyed by chasing women, she says.

But also, she goes on to say, nor your ways to that which destroys kings. So not only are you not to be involved in womanizing or playing, but you're not also to be involved in the things that destroy kings. In addition to giving the strength to women, she says, hey, don't walk in the ways that have brought destruction in the lives of the kings around you or before you. Now, what are the ways that destroy kings?

I'm sure that we could discuss very many of them, because if you want to destroy your life, there is more than a few ways to do so. There's lots of ways to destroy your life. Jesus, if you remember, he said, hey, wide is the road to destruction. And there's many that find it. There's many that walk it. If you want to destroy your life, there's lots of ways to do it. But narrow is the gate to life.

It's few that find it. She is telling him, don't give yourself to what everybody else is. Don't live the way that everybody else is. Be one of the few that finds life. And of course, we know that that's by being obedient to the word of God, by walking obediently.

According to his word. Now, one particular way that she goes on to warn him about is in the area of alcohol. And he goes on in verses four and five. It says this. It is not for kings. Oh, Lemuel. It is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes intoxicating drink, lest they drink and forget the law and pervert the justice of all the afflicted.

She's sharing with her son, son, kings have a large responsibility. They have people that rely upon them. They have people whose lives really depend on their good judgment, making good decisions, administering justice and doing what is right and fair. And so she shares with him, kings should not drink wine or intoxicating drink.

Because so many lives and so many people are affected by their life, by their choices. That is one of the dangers of authority. It's one of the things that is kind of inherently built into authority. And it's scary, frankly.

That when God gives you authority and when he allows anyone to be in a place of authority, not only are the people that they have authority over blessed by the good things that they do, but they're also hurt by the sin in their life. The people under the authority are also affected by the problems in their life and the choices that they make and the decisions that take place in their life.

And so mom says to son, hey, son, kings should not be given to wine. Kings should not be receiving intoxicated drink because otherwise they may forget the law. They may forget the word of God. They may forget what God has commanded. They may pervert justice, she says.

They may make bad decisions, poor judgment calls, and then those who are afflicted will not be judged fairly. They won't receive what's right. They won't be protected by you because you've been affected by the alcohol. Now, in discussing this, of course, this may bring up a question for some. Can a Christian drink alcohol? Perhaps a better question is, should a Christian drink alcohol?

You know, the scriptures are quite clear, but if this is a question that you have, I would encourage you to spend some time. We're not going to go in depth here tonight, but spend some time reading Romans chapter 14 and first Corinthians chapters eight through 10.

Romans chapter 14 and 1 Corinthians chapters 8 through 10. There Paul deals with not just the drinking of alcohol, but a whole range of things on Christian liberty and what are we free to do and how do we determine what we are allowed to do, what we should be involved in.

Essentially, it boils down to a couple of things. Number one, is it good for me? Does it build me up? Does it edify me? Does it help me on in my Christian walk? And number two, how does it affect the Christians around me?

Does it cause other people to stumble? And so it's a consideration that we need to have in our hearts and in our lives. And I would encourage you to spend some time reading through what Paul says there in those chapters. But the Bible is very clear in a few specifics, and I'll share those with you briefly. Here we find in Proverbs 31 that kings and princes should not drink wine.

We also find in 1 Timothy 3, chapter 3, verse 3, that elders or pastors should not drink alcohol. We also find in 1 Timothy 3, verse 8, that deacons should not drink much alcohol or they should not be given to much wine. We find in Leviticus chapters 10, verses 9 and 10,

actually 9 through 11, that the priests were not to drink alcohol. They were not to be under the influence whenever they were ministering in the temple. Those who take the Nazarite vow of the Old Testament, they were not to receive from the vine or drink of wine at all either. We find that in Numbers chapter 6 verse 3. Those are the specifics that God gives. These ones

He says very clearly, you should not be receiving wine. You shouldn't be drinking alcohol. But the rest is really between you and the Lord, between what edifies you and draws you close to the Lord and how it affects those around you from the guidelines that Paul gives in Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8 through 10. But that being said, the one thing that is across the board for all Christians is that drunkenness,

is forbidden. Ephesians chapter 5 verse 18, Paul says, do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation, but be filled with the spirit. We're not to be drunk with wine. Drunkenness and intoxication of that level, really influence of anything of that level, is forbidden by the Lord. We're not to be brought into that influence and given to that lifestyle.

So King Lemuel's mom says, don't drink wine or intoxicating drink, lest it ruin your ability to judge fairly and do what is right. Now, it's interesting that she warned him against this because it's actually what took place in the nation of Israel.

In Isaiah chapter 28, verse 7, God brings this judgment against Ephraim, the northern kingdom, the kingdom of Israel. He says, but they also have erred through wine and through intoxicating drink are out of the way. The priest and the prophet have erred through intoxicating drink. They are swallowed up by wine. They're out of the way through intoxicating drink. They err in vision. They stumble in judgment.

God's indictment against those in Ephraim. He says, look, you guys, you've erred. You've been led astray because you've been given to wine. You've been intoxicated by alcohol. The priests and the prophet, they've gone astray. They have visions, but they're not visions of God. They've erred in their visions. They've stumbled in their judgment. And as a result, they've walked away from the Lord. There's great dangers in those substances.

And so great warning for us to take care and give caution, to give great consideration to how we live our life. Look at verse six and seven. He goes on to say, give strong drink to him who is perishing and wine to those who are bitter of hearts. Let him drink and forget his poverty and remember his misery no more.

Here she says, strong drink, wine. It's not for you, my son. But here's who you can give it to if you must give it to someone. Two types of people. First, you can give it, she says, to him who is perishing. And second, give it to those who are bitter of heart. Those who are perishing and those who are bitter of heart.

Now, in my opinion, and take it for what it's worth, this does not describe a Christian because we're not perishing. Even though the outward man is perishing, Paul says we're being renewed day by day. We're not perishing because Jesus said, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have instead everlasting life. We're not perishing. We have eternal life.

We are not to have bitter hearts because Jesus taught that we are to forgive just as God has forgiven us. And so we're not to be bitter at our circumstances or at the people around us. Check it out. Matthew chapter seven. I think it's seven, five, six or seven. One of those. Jesus says, forgive just as I've forgiven you. Forgive one another.

The person she described is someone that is focused on themselves. They're consumed with themselves. She says, give it that they may forget their poverty or that they may not remember their misery.

They're focused on themselves, their poverty, their misery. She says, let them have it. Let them forget about it because they're focused on themselves and it will ease their pain. It will ease the situation that they're going through. But the Christian, again, is completely different than that are called to be completely different than that. The Christian is to deny self, to take up their cross and follow Jesus Christ. If

If you're focused on yourself, I guarantee you, you will be miserable. But that's not an excuse to indulge in the bottle. No, we're called to lay down our life, to take up the cross and walk with Jesus. You know, it's why we have so many people that try to forget their misery by abusing alcohol, by abusing drugs, illegal or prescription. It's why we have so many because it's

We have a society, we have a world that teaches us to focus on ourselves. And it makes us miserable. It's the worst thing for us. The best thing for you. Again, wisdom is living life God's way.

believing him at his word, receiving the instruction he gives. And he says, deny yourself, die to yourself, take up your cross and follow him. If you want what's best for you, if you want to experience the wonderful life that God has for you, the abundant life that God has for you, live life his way, walk in his ways, be obedient to him, deny yourself. Don't be focused on yourself because you will be miserable. You will be bitter of heart.

you will feel like you are perishing and that you're in poverty. If you're focused on yourself, it's the worst thing for you. If you're depressed, if you're miserable, if you're bitter, there's a reason. God has allowed those things and created that range in our emotions and feelings to give us the warning signs that we need to get right with God. There's a biblical way of dealing with it. Don't be too quick to try to solve it on your own. Let's move on to verses 8 and 9.

He goes on to say, open your mouth for the speechless and the cause of all who are appointed to die. Open your mouth, judge righteously and plead the cause of the poor and needy. Instead of being drunk, she says, instead of filling yourself with wine and perverting justice,

You're to open your mouth and do what's right. You're to speak up for those who are about to die. You're to speak up for the poor and the needy. Don't just sit idly by and allow them to be afflicted and abused. No, my son, here's what kings are to do. Not to be involved in drunkenness, not to be filled with intoxicating wine, but instead to be filled with the burden to see justice done.

With the burden for those who are helpless. With the burden to do what's right. This is the role of kings. This is the role of all who have authority. As we've been studying through Proverbs, we've often looked at that and noticed that when we look at kings...

We understand the principles that God gives for kings are the principles that God gives for all who have authority. And so if it's in your workplace, if it's in your home, wherever God has given you authority, don't pervert justice. Don't be filled with intoxicating wine. Instead, make sure, give yourself, have a burden for those who are in need. Make sure that you do what you need to do to do what is right.

To open your mouth for the speechless. To open your mouth for the poor and the needy. That's why God gave you authority. That's what you're to use your authority for. As we go on now and finish off the chapter, the rest of the verses, verses 10 through 31, is a famous portion of scripture that describes my wife. I mean, it describes Zelda. No, I mean, it describes... Okay, I'm just kidding.

Now, there's such wonderful depth here. We could, of course, study it for quite some time. Like many of the Proverbs, each verse is really a different subject. And so we could spend a lot of time in each one of them. But just like we've been studying through Proverbs, we'll just touch on each one a little bit and get a good overview of what Solomon or King Lemuel is saying here. Many of these are self-explanatory, and that doesn't make them...

Any less important or have any less depth? Sometimes we just kind of overlook it because it seems so simple. But some of those are the more important ones for us to meditate upon. And so as we go through these things, I would encourage you to meditate on them. Write down as God speaks to your heart and understand the scriptures and what he's calling women to be. Again, it's just going to be an overview. And one side note as we get into this.

There was 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet. This portion of scripture that we are studying, 10 through 31, is 22 verses. And each verse, it's called an acrostic portion of scripture, an acrostic passage, because each verse in the Hebrew begins with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet. If we were to do it in English, the first verse would start with the letter A, the next verse would start with the letter B and C and so on and so forth. But in Hebrew, it works out. We don't really see that.

In the English version of our Bibles, but if anybody's reading the Hebrew version, you'll probably notice that each one begins with the next letter in the Hebrew alphabet. It's a poetic way of writing. It was, you know, this is part of the poetic books. And it was a good way for people to remember the principles that God taught. And so they'd be able to learn their ABCs and learn what God was calling them to be as well.

So we started off in verse 10. Who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far above rubies. Now, keep in mind, again, this is King Lemuel's mother sharing with him.

First, she shares with him, hey, I want you to know that you shouldn't be giving your strength to chasing after women. Don't devote your life to that. Don't be involved in the ways that destroy kings. Specifically, don't be receiving wine or intoxicating drink because it perverts justice. You need to keep yourself focused and keep your judgment clear so that you're able to defend the speechless, the poor and the needy.

But then she goes on to describe this woman. I think it's important to note that it's coming from a mother. She's describing this person to her son. So.

You know, for some who would be offended and say, well, this is, you know, every man's dream. And so, of course, a man would write this and a man would teach this. But these are the words of a mom to her son. These are not the words of a man who perhaps cannot understand or don't experience the things that you ladies might experience. But these are the words of a mom to her son. She's experienced the emotion. She's experienced the feelings. She's experienced the frustrations.

And these are her words of wisdom to her son. She starts out by asking the question, who can find a virtuous wife? Now, as we begin this, I want to ask the question, what is the point of this portion of Scripture? Why does she ask that question? Who can find a virtuous wife? Is the point of this description that she gives to help you find a wife? So, you know, OK, these are the things to look for.

I came into the office this morning and I have one of those calendars on my desk where you tear off the day and there's the next day before you. And so there's a joke or a verse or different things. Different calendars have different things. But there on my desk is a calendar and I tear off yesterday's date and I look at today's date and someone has handwritten a message for me on the date. And I look closely and it's from Mario. And the message says this. I love you, Jerry. In a manly, non-weird way, Mario. Okay.

P.S. Tell Miss Proverbs 31 to hurry up and meet me. He knew I was teaching this portion tonight, so he writes it on the correct date. And he says, hey, tell Miss Proverbs 31 to meet me. And so afterwards, if you fit the description, I can give you Mario's phone number. And just kidding.

Why does she write this? Is the point to help you find a wife? Is the point for you ladies to endeavor to be this type of wife, this type of woman? Some would ask, does this type of woman exist? Besides Kim, of course. Every woman, and here's what I want to get to. Every woman has the potential to be like this woman that's described here in Proverbs 31.

I believe that's the point of this, and we'll see that at the very end as he shares with us the key.

To all of these things, as we look at all these characteristics, the point is not for a lady to try to do each one of these things. OK, you know, I got that one down. Check. Got that one down. Check. Got that one down. Check. No. If you try to do that, you'll you'll destroy yourself and be very frustrated. No, I really believe the point is to be right with the Lord, to fear the Lord and walk in his ways. And this will be the demonstration of.

Of that. This will be just the automatic characteristics of a life. That is devoted to the Lord. That is walking with God. That is growing in God. So the application. Ladies. This is an example. And model for you. As we look through these things. These are examples. These are things that you need to examine. It's a way to hold up your life. Side by side with this woman described here. And say Lord where am I falling short. And where do you want to work in my life. Husbands.

There's application for you as well, because Ephesians chapter five, verses twenty five through twenty seven gives us a lot of great things. But I'm just focusing on one. And that is that it tells us there that Jesus loves the church. He ministers to the church. He gives himself to the church so that he may present to himself a glorious bride.

And Paul in that portion of scripture is relating. He's showing the parallel between the relationship that Jesus has with the church and the way that a man is to have relationship with his wife. And we really believe from the scriptures, the woman, your wife, husband is the outshining of you.

She's the reflection of you. If you don't like the way she is, it's because you made her that way is what I'm trying to say. That you present her to yourself by the way that you love her, by the way that you minister to her, by the way that you die to yourself to serve her. She's your fault. Don't blame God.

You made her that way. So if she's beautiful and wonderful, then you're loving her good. You're treating her right. You're doing what God has called you to do. But if she's got some issues, then you need to check your heart and you need to treat her right. And so husbands, as you look at this list, you can't nudge her and say, how come you're not like this?

You look back at yourself and say, Lord, help me to love my wife. Help me to serve my wife so that she can become like this woman. God gives the responsibility to you, husband. It doesn't take away. And this is something I need to warn you about. Husband and wife in nothing that we study ever through the scriptures. Can you blame each other? You know, the wife can't say I would be the Proverbs 31 woman if you would just treat me right.

And the husband can't say, I would treat you right if you would just be a virtuous woman. You can't. You can't blame each other independently of each other. You need to get right with God. You need to do what God's calling you to do. None of this depends on the other, but what you do affects each other. And so God calls you both to walk in obedience. You know, there's a book, I've never read it, but I just really like the title. It's by Nancy Missler, Chuck Missler's wife.

And the title of the book is Why Should I Be the First to Change? And I just love that title because that's our attitude. That's our heart many times. Why should I be the first to change? They need to change. They have the problem. And any time that couples go in for counseling, that's the attitude that's portrayed. That's the message that's delivered.

Most often it's with guys, but happens as well with the ladies. You know, if she would just get her act together, if she would just do what's right, then we'd be okay. I know why we're here, they might say, because, you know, she's broken and you need to fix her. But the reality is, no, husbands, you...

You need to be the first to change. And wives, you can't be focused on the husband, blaming the husband. You know, well, he's just such a jerk, Jerry. You just don't understand. I mean, you know what he did to me? He forgot our anniversary. You know, he didn't give me flowers. He, you know, does mean things to me. Didn't buy me the car I want. I'm making you sound spoiled. I know husbands can be jerks, but you can't blame them for that.

You can't blame your walk with the Lord and your comparison to this woman on your husband. You be the first to change. You change first and hold to God's promise that he will do the work in your spouse. You can't change them, but you can change the way that you live. So ladies, model for you husbands. It's also a test for you to find out how you're doing.

and treating your wife and some of you single guys i would encourage you in this wait for a woman that god brings to you that fears the lord because she will demonstrate these characteristics proverbs 19 14 houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers but a prudent wife is from the lord it's from god as i've shared many many times i would encourage you

to pick up the 567 date series for those of you who are single. It's on the back table. You can listen to it on your computer or MP3 player. Don't date until it's out of obedience to God.

until it's because God told me to, then that's when you want to begin that type of relationship. I like the example we find in Ruth chapter 3, and I'm not sure why I'm going so far on to this point. But in Ruth chapter 3, if you remember the story of Ruth and Boaz, Ruth is a single woman. Boaz is really the next of kin.

And she goes to him and she really asks him to fulfill the duty of the next of kin or the right or the privilege of the next of kin. And that is to marry her. And you know the story. I'm not going to get into it. But he responds to her this way in Ruth chapter 3 verse 11. Check this out. He says, and now my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you all that you request. I'll.

Make arrangements to marry you. For all the people of my town, and that's important, know that you are a virtuous woman. That word virtuous, same word found in Proverbs chapter 31 verse 10. Who can find a virtuous wife? Boaz says, hey, I'm going to make arrangements. I will marry you because all of my town, all the people of my town know that you're a Proverbs 31 woman. Everybody knows that.

And here's the thing that I think is so important. When the Lord brings you someone, when you feel, hey, God has spoken to me about this person and the people of your town, your family, your spiritual leaders, those who give you spiritual godly counsel, when they recognize that she is a virtuous woman, then you know that you've found someone that's worth more than rubies.

That's what she says in verse 10. Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. This word virtuous, same word in Ruth 3.11. It's also the same word that we found in verse 3. Where mom says to son, do not give your strength to women. That word strength is the same word that's translated virtuous here in verse 10. Essentially, she's saying instead of giving your strength to women,

Find a woman of strength. Find a woman of godly strength, of godly character. Find a woman who fears the Lord. Who can find this type of woman? She says her worth is far above rubies, far above rubies. Now, according to the Indiana University School of Medicine, your human body, the average human body, when you break it down to the basic elements,

The dust that we are. It's basic elements and minerals. Your body, my body, worth about $4.50. That's what it costs to produce the material that we're made of. But they also say if you sell it off a piece at a time...

Organ here some of the fluids, you know, you can get about 45 million dollars for it So a little bit more if you sell it off piece by piece But of course, this is not what she's talking about when she says that her worth is far more than rubies What's she saying? She's saying this who can find this type of woman not that it's impossible But there's not an abundance of this type of woman. This type of woman is rare and

Now, every woman would maybe like to think of herself this way, but according to the word, it says this is rare. Who can find this type of woman? She's rare. And so anything rare is valuable. The more rare something is, the more valuable it is. And she says this type of woman, this virtuous woman, this godly woman, she is more valuable than rubies, far above rubies.

And this is the type of woman that she is describing. So let's go on and look at some of the characteristics here. Verses 11 and 12 says the heart of her husband safely trust her. So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. The first thing that she mentions about this woman is that her husband can safely really his heart can safely trust her.

He trusts her, but also it's a safe trust. You know, sometimes we trust people and it's not that safe. You know, maybe you shouldn't trust all the people that you trust. But she is safe to trust. She's faithful. She's proven herself faithful. She's dependable. Again, because she has strength, because she's godly, he can rely upon her completely without hesitation, without reservation.

And because he relies upon her, because she's godly, because she's right with the Lord, because she's doing what he's called her to do, it says that he will have no lack of gain.

Not only does he safely trust her, but he's blessed by it because she is faithful to do the things that God has called her to do. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. The relationship that this type of woman has with her husband is really good. It's one of great trust. Her husband trusts her, but it's also for good reason because she does good all the time and never evil to him.

She never does anything malicious or vicious towards him. She does things that are good for him and good to him. Now, you may not like what the Bible has to say, but this is what it says. Woman was created to be a helper to the man, to do him good and not evil. Ladies, if you're married, that is the role, the place that God has given you. You can fight it. You can struggle it, but it's foolish.

Not to receive the instruction of God. It's foolish not to receive the role that God has given you. You'll be making yourself miserable. And then perhaps giving yourself to wine or other intoxications or medications. Because you just simply refuse to do what God has called you to do. This is the role that God has given. It's not a lesser role. It's not a less important role.

It's not a dominial role. It's just the role that God has given. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Verse 13, she seeks wool and flax and willingly works with her hands. Now, there's a lot of verses that are kind of similar to this throughout our chapter this evening, describing really that she is very industrious.

She works hard. She's very busy about her work. In this verse, wool and flax, they're elements that were both used to make fabric, either for clothing or other uses. And the idea here is that she's frugal. She's willing to get the materials to do it herself, to work with her hands. And so if you ladies don't make your own clothes, no, I'm just kidding.

The idea is mentioned a few times in this passage. It's the idea of being frugal, of being wise with what you have and willing to work, being a good steward, really, of the resources that

that you have. Verses 14 through 16 says, See, she's very profitable, industrious.

She's involved in getting things done and taking care of business. He says that she's like the merchant ships. The merchant ships, what they would do is they would find a product from one place that is very valuable in another place.

And so they would make it their business to go and obtain the product that's valuable to the other place and transport it there and sell it there. And then they would take something from that place that was valuable somewhere else and take it there. And they would basically be trading and bartering and using that to make a profit, taking it from one place to another where it's more valuable. And that's what she says this woman is like. She does the same.

Going back and forth, taking what's valuable and providing it to those who deem it worthy or deem it valuable. Taking the things that are really not necessary or not needed from others. Not taking in the sense of stealing, but you understand. She's purchasing it at a low price and selling it at a high price is the point of it. She's being a good business person. She's doing good business, being a good steward, providing needs, meeting needs.

And she brings her food from afar. It goes on to say that she rises while it's yet night. She's up early about her business, providing for her household through her buying and selling. That's what it says there in verse 15. She provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants. She provides for those who are serving her, for those who are of her household. She provides for them as she is serving.

Being a steward as she's busy about the things that God has given to her. It's not impulsive buying. It says in verse 16, she considers a field and buys it. It's something that is considered. It's meditated on. It's prayed over. If it makes sense, if it's profitable, then she purchases it. Through her buying and selling, she's able to purchase the field and as well plant a vineyard. And I think there's an important principle here, whether you're a man or a woman.

Because the Bible calls us to be stewards, not consumers. There's a big difference between a steward and a consumer. The word consume can mean to destroy, like consumed by fire. But it also means to spend wastefully or to eat up or devour. And really, the Bible doesn't call us to be consumers in that sense. To eat up and devour all of our resources and all the things that God has given us. Instead...

The Bible calls us to be good stewards, to take what God has given to us and to use it to bring profit, to use it to have abundant supply for ourselves and even for those around us that we might give to those who are in need. And this is the type of woman that she is. She's a good steward of her time, of her resources, of her energy, so that she's productive and she increases rather than consumes.

Much like the parable that Jesus told of the man who gave the talents, the amounts of money to his servants and went away. They were to put it to work and cause it to increase so that when he came, he might receive the fruit of it. Matthew 25, 14 through 30 describes that for us. This is the type of person that she is. Verse 17, she girds herself with strength and strengthens her arms.

And so here we find also the perfect woman. She's a bodybuilder. Gold's gym, right? She can bench 200 pounds. No, I'm just kidding. She takes care of herself is the point here. She strengthens herself. The idea here is that she works hard and she prepares herself for the work that's ahead of her. You could also take this and look at it more spiritually and

By comparing it with David in 1 Samuel chapter 30 verse 6. Where it tells us there is David's men were ganging up upon him. They were upset at him. They wanted to kill him. And it says that David strengthened himself in the Lord his God. So you could talk about that and you could meditate upon that. The strength by strengthening yourself in the Lord. The strength of character. Strengthening her soul. But since it specifically mentions her arms...

The idea here is that she works hard. It's some elbow grease that she's using. She's putting it into practice, putting it to work. And we could see that from the next verses. Look at verse 18. She perceives that her merchandise is good and her lamp does not go out by night. Verse 19. She stretches out her hands to the distaff and her hand holds the spindle.

So the idea is, again, she's working hard, long hours, sometimes well into the night, not grudgingly or unhappy, unhappily, but because she perceives that her merchandise is good. The idea is that, wow, this is coming out really good. I need to finish it up. Have you ever gotten involved in a project like that? You just want to finish it up. And sometimes it takes you well into the night.

That's what's being described here. This is good work that I'm doing. I want to finish this up. I need to take care of this so that I can continue on. And again, her heart is to be a good steward. The distaff and the spindle that are described there in verse 16 were part of the process of spinning thread or yarn in that day. They don't use that anymore. Now they have spinning wheels and all types of automated machines and stuff. But until the spinning wheel was invented...

That's what they use. They use these instruments to twist and to spin the yarn and to make the thread so that then she could take that thread and make the garments and the things that she would be involved in. She's personally involved in the work, giving of her own time, her own labor, strengthening herself and working hard. Verse 20, she extends her hand to the poor.

Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. And I think this is important and necessary as well.

Not only does she work and provide for her family and she brings her food from afar and feeds her household and feeds her maidservant, but because she's increasing, because she's able to buy a field and plant a vineyard and because there's an abundance of blessings, then she also extends her hand to the poor. She reaches out her hands to the needy. She's generous. She's benevolent.

She sees the needs of the poor, the needy around her, and she's willing to help them with the fruits, really the overflow of what she has received. She doesn't have a selfish attitude. This is for me. This is for my house. I worked hard for this. But a giving attitude. Those who are in need, those who have poverty, and those who are unable to provide for themselves. She reaches out. She extends her hands to them. Verses 21 and 22.

She's not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is clothed with scarlet. She makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Here, King Lemuel's mom goes on to say she's not afraid of snow for her household. This past season, we really experienced a very extreme cold, much more than we're used to.

In the area of Israel, in Jerusalem, it snows. And so as they're writing this, they would understand the cold. And you know what it's like to be cold and how agonizing it can be to be cold and not be able to do anything about it. They didn't have central air and heating like we do, the furnaces and the fireplaces like we have. They had not that much resource for providing warmth. Of course, they could build a fire.

But it says of her that she doesn't worry about that. She doesn't worry about the snow. Why? Well, because her household is clothed with scarlet. What is scarlet? There's some various interpretations and discussion about this. But one thing we know for sure is scarlet is not referring to the color. Red does not make you feel warmer even if you're in the snow. The color scarlet comes from an expensive type of woven cloth

That would come in many colors, but the predominant color, mostly it came in the shade of red that we know today as scarlet. And that's where that word scarlet comes from. And so it's a type of woven material that's thick and hardy. And so it would be a good covering for that. Some also describe it as a double layer of clothing that's being referred to. And so she's not worried about snow because her household has what they need, essentially, to...

Keep them warm to provide for them to meet their needs in the cold, in the snow. But not only does she provide for them, her household, but she also takes care of herself. It says she makes tapestry for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Don't let all the hard work fool you that we've just been reading about. She's not wearing overalls.

She's wearing fine linen and purple. These are the materials in the clothing that would be worthy of a queen. These are the materials that would be very expensive and costly, but that would be nice and comfortable. And so she is taking care of herself. And it's not even saying that she is limiting herself to poverty level, but she provides for herself and she takes care of herself.

She dresses good, as most women do. Guys, we have a struggle with that, but women are usually pretty good about that. But she clothes herself and her family. Verse 23. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

Now, the gates were where the elders of the city would be. They would go out and sit in the gates and that's where they would conduct business. Legal matters would be taken care of there at the city gates while the elders were there. And so it describes here that her husband sits among the elders.

Meaning that he is one of them. He's one of the elders of the city. He's a prominent person in the city. He's an important person in the city. He takes care of business there at the gates. He's helping out with the legal matters there at the gates. There's a famous saying, perhaps you've heard it, behind every great man is a great woman. And that's really the idea, the principle here. As she is giving herself to these things, as she's being a good steward, as she is where God calls her to be,

Her husband as well is blessed. Her husband prospers as well. What the Bible is teaching for you and I is that you are to be faithful and obedient to the Lord. Again, we can't blame one another, husbands and wives. Women, ladies, do your part. Fulfill your role and you will make a great man, but also men.

Do your part. Fulfill your role and you will make a great woman. We can't blame each other, but we can bless each other by being obedient to the Lord. Verse 24. She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies sashes for the merchants. Verse 25. Strength and honor are her clothing. She shall rejoice in time to come.

Again, she's very industrious. She's making garments. She's selling them, probably of the thread that she wove herself or spun herself. She supplies sashes to the merchants. Again, meeting the needs and conducting business, using her abilities, her talents for increase, for profit.

But then also strength and honor are her clothing as she's supplying these things to them. What clothes her and what's important to her are not the outward things, but strength and honor are her clothing. And she says that she shall rejoice in it in time to come. She's covered in strength and honor. She does what's right. She has strong character, godly character. She is a woman of integrity.

And it says that she's sowing seeds now. You know, we've discussed so many times you reap what you sow. Usually we share it in more of a negative light, that if you sow to the flesh, you will reap corruption or destruction. But it's also true of these type of things. As she's doing what's right and clothing herself in honor and strength, she's sowing seeds now.

Right now that will be reaped later in the form of rejoicing of great joy. That word rejoice means to laugh and to play. She's working hard now to be able to laugh and play later, to enjoy life a little bit more later. Verse 26. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She opens her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the law of kindness.

Here she goes on to describe her speech and conversation. And they're characterized by two things. Number one, by wisdom. And number two, by kindness. Wisdom. We know where that comes from. We've seen it over and over throughout the Proverbs. It comes from a relationship with God. It comes from walking obediently with him. It comes from receiving instruction from him.

Proverbs chapter two taught us that wisdom, understanding, knowledge, they all come from God. It's by our relationship with him that we become wise. When she opens her mouth, it's with wisdom. It's with the things that she has learned from God, the lessons that he has taught her, the instruction that he has given her, the correction that she has received. But it's also with kindness, with kindness. She's not destructive with her speech, not malicious, not a backbiter.

But her tongue on her tongue is the law of kindness. Everything that is said is said in kindness, really reflecting what Paul says in Ephesians 429. He says, let no unwholesome speech come from your mouth, but only what is good. What's useful for building up those around you. Colossians chapter four, verse six says, let your your speech be seasoned with salt and with grace.

Let it be with salt and grace. And I love that portion of scripture because it speaks so powerfully. What is grace? Grace, it's often described as undeserved favor and kindness. Undeserved favor and kindness. Let your speech, the words that you say, the way that you say them, the attitude that you have when you say them, let them be with kindness that is not deserved.

In other words, treat them better than they deserve. Speak better of them than they deserve. Speak to them in a manner that's better than what they deserve. This is the type of woman that she is. She speaks with wisdom, the words of God, the instruction of God, as well as with kindness. She treats people and speaks of people better than they deserve. Verse 27. She watches over the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

She's not lazy, but she's diligent to take care of her house. She's keeping an eye on the kids. Are they doing well in school? Are they walking with God? Are they making good choices? She's keeping an eye on the finances, perhaps keeping an eye on the husband. She's keeping an eye, a watchful eye on the household. Does she see things that are out of line?

She doesn't eat the bread of idleness. She gets to work and takes care of those things and gives of herself to see that they're taken care of. She makes sure that it's running, their house is running the way that it's supposed to. Verse 28 and 29. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her. This is what he says. Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all. Husbands, have you told your wives that recently? I'd encourage you to.

Honey, there's a lot of great women out there, but you are the best. You're the best one of them all. I'm so lucky. I'm so glad that I have you. That's the idea here. Her children, her husband, call her blessed. They're blessed because of her. So much so that they let her know that they praise her. They're free to share with her.

How blessed they are. Verse 30. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. And this verse is the key to the whole thing. This whole passage from 10 through 31. This is the key right here. The book of Proverbs begins and ends with the same emphasis. The fear of the Lord.

See, the question is, what is really important? What's really going to last? Charm? She says, no, that's deceitful. That's just the show that's put on. You know, that's what you do when you're dating before you get married. Beauty? No, that's passing. We all know that. I don't need to get into details. It's passing. The outward, the physical, the show that we put on, it's all going to fade away. Those things are not important in looking for a spouse.

The most important characteristic in a woman or a man is this, the fear of the Lord. Proverbs 1, verse 7. As we began Proverbs, we dealt with this and we've discussed it many times after that. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. This is the beginning. You don't have any knowledge until you first learn to fear the Lord. Proverbs 1, verse 7.

Proverbs 9 verse 10 says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. You don't have knowledge. You don't have wisdom. You don't have understanding until you fear the Lord. And no matter what degrees a person might have, no matter what doctors they might have obtained, you do not have knowledge or understanding or wisdom until you fear the Lord.

That's the important characteristic for you and for me. Do you fear God? The fear of the Lord, it's the beginning. It's the whole point of Proverbs. From beginning to end, this is the thrust. This is the theme. Fear the Lord. Receive his word, his commands, his instruction, his correction. Live life by his way and not your own. That's what will last.

Charm is deceitful. Beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. She's the one who will be blessed, who will thrive. She's the one that this passage is describing. To fear the Lord or to have a fear of the Lord is to fear God. Sometimes we like to water it down by saying, you know, it doesn't mean like we're afraid of God. But in some senses, yes, we are. We need to be afraid of God.

knowing, Jesus said, don't fear man who can just kill the body, but fear God who can kill the body and the soul in hell. We need to fear God. We need to understand that he is the one who can cast our soul into hell. We need to understand that he is the one who has the authority, the say-so of whether or not we spend eternity in heaven or hell. We need to fear God to know that

that he hates sin, that he judges sin, that he died for sin so that we don't have to receive the punishment. We need to know the fear of the Lord. To fear the Lord is to honor him and to seek his ways, to live life by his standards, no matter what nobody or no matter what anybody else says. We looked at that a couple of weeks ago, that the fear of man is a snare.

If you fear man and obey man rather than God because of peer pressure, because of what your friends will say, because of advice that they give you. If you fear man, if you take the advice of man, if you take the ways of men rather than God, you fear man, it's going to be a snare to you. It's going to destroy you. No, to fear the Lord, follow his ways, regardless of what anybody else says. To fear the Lord, to walk in his ways, regardless of how even you feel about it or what you think.

Because God said, my ways are not your ways. As high as the heavens are above the earth, you don't know the Lord's ways except for what is revealed. And it might not make sense to you. In fact, many times it doesn't make sense to us. But that doesn't matter.

I don't get it. How come, you know, if I do this, how is that? How am I going to be blessed if I do that? If I die to myself, if I love and serve my wife, or if I give of myself for my husband in the way that Proverbs 31 describes, how does that make me blessed? That just makes me miserable. No, believe God at his word.

If I apply God's principles in the workplace, I'm not going to make any sales. I'm not going to get anything. People are going to get ahead of me and I'm going to be the last one on the totem pole. No. Walk with the Lord. Apply His Word.

If I raise my kids this way, you know, they're going to hate me. They're not going to like me. I'm not going to be their best friend, you know, and all these things that we could come up with. No. Believe God's word. Apply his word. Live by his word. Fear the Lord. Don't fear your kids. Don't fear your boss. Don't fear your coworkers. Don't fear anybody else. Fear the Lord. Put him first. Walk in his ways. This is the point.

A woman who fears the Lord, who puts the Lord first, who is obedient to him, who hears from him and has a relationship with him, her characteristics will be like the woman that's described here. She'll be frugal. She'll be industrious. She'll be profitable. And on and on and on we could go. But the point is, you don't try to fix all those things and work in all those areas. No, this is the area. If this is out of balance, that's why everything else is out of balance.

This is the one issue, the main thing. And you can hold your life up to these characteristics. And guys, you can hold your life up to the characteristics of the word of God. And where you fall short, you need to go back and check this area, the fear of the Lord. You're not really struggling with lying. You don't fear the Lord. You need to go back and check your heart. Get your heart right with God. I really struggle with loving my wife this way or loving my husband this way.

Yeah, you don't fear the Lord. You're not obedient to him. You don't believe him at his word. You're not following his instructions. You don't receive his correction. You need to get your heart right with God. Oh, I struggle in this area. I struggle in that area. I have this issue. I have that problem. Yeah, well, it's because you don't fear God. It all goes back to our relationship with the Lord. Where do you stand with God? Are you walking with God? Do you fear the Lord? Proverbs 8, 13 says that the fear of the Lord is to hate evil.

To hate evil. See, to fear God means that you think the same things that he does. What do you think, God? Okay, that's what I think too. How do you feel about this, God? Okay, that's how I feel too. What do you say about this, God? Okay, that's what I say too. Lord, you hate evil? Okay, I hate evil. That's the fear of the Lord, is to hate evil. Do you hate evil? When there's sin in our lives, it's not because we hate it. It's because we love it. It's because we need to get our heart right with God, to agree with him, to say the same thing about it that he does.

to have the same perspective that he does. The whole point of this passage, the whole point of the book is in this thought, fear the Lord. It's easy to find a woman with charm. It's easy to find a woman with beauty. Guys in the world would say, hey, there's lots of fish in the sea. In some ways, that's true. It's easy to find charm. It's easy to find beauty. But what is hard to find is a woman who fears the Lord.

Because wide is the road to destruction. Many are there that find that road. But there's few that find the way of life. The fear of the Lord. Ladies, this is what you're to be. You're to be a woman who fears God. Husbands, this is what you're called to lead your wife in. You're to teach your wife and train your wife. To demonstrate for your wife the fear of the Lord. The relationship with God.

Whether you're married, whether you're single, whether you're old, whether you're young, this is what you need to be. You need to fear God. I don't believe the point of this passage is for you to try to fix all the little things. Okay, well, I need to work harder with my hands and be more industrious and be able to buy a field and plant a vineyard. No, what you need to do is you need to fear God. Just focus on that one thing. Fear the Lord. Fear the Lord.

Everything else will come into line. Let's finish it off. Verse 31. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. This is kind of the result now. Husbands, let her have the reward of her labor. Let her receive the fruit of the labor. Let her enjoy the benefits and receive the credit. Don't take credit for yourself. Don't hoard all the benefits for yourself. Let her be blessed by what she has produced because she's feared the Lord.

As we can see in this description of the virtuous woman, I'm so used to wearing glasses, I was trying to adjust them. God's ideals and principles are very different than the world's. The world would not look and agree with these things. The world does not agree that woman was created as a helper to the man. But that's what Genesis chapters 1 and 2 teach. That's what the Bible teaches. The world doesn't agree with these principles.

You will not come to these conclusions by listening to what society says. You will not learn to walk in these ways by following the wisdom of man. You will not learn these things and walk in these ways. You won't fear God by relying upon your own understanding and interpretation. Proverbs, we studied a couple weeks ago, says you're a fool if you trust your heart.

Because our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked. No, we need to trust the word of God. It boils down to this. This is where we learn the fear of the Lord. It's where we receive correction and instruction. We receive what God says. We receive how he wants us to live. This word of God, this Bible, the Bible that you hold, that's where God wants to speak to you. It's where he wants to correct you. It's where you will learn the fear of the Lord because these are God's principles for life.

It's the way that he instructs us to live. It's contrary to our nature. It's contrary to this world, but it's the best way to live. If you want to be blessed, if you want to experience the abundant life that Jesus promises, fear the Lord, walk in his ways, get into the word of God, know it, study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth, because you will learn to fear the Lord. You will learn his thoughts.

His opinions, his ways. And those are the ones that matter. Proverbs 1, 7. Again, the fear of the Lord is a beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. If you disregard, if you don't get into the word of God, you're the fool who despises wisdom and instruction because it's there. God promises you it's there. Second Timothy 3, 16 and 17. The word of God, every word of God.

It's inspired. It's God-breathed. And it's profitable for doctrine, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man or woman of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. Everything you need is right here. If you don't get into it, you're a fool, despising the wisdom and instruction of God. Don't be a fool. Don't despise the wisdom and instruction of God. He really does know best. Live according to His ways.

Close with this one last thought. As we're reading through the Bible in a year, if you're following along with us, we're in the book of 1 Samuel. And this last week we were reading about David. Many great examples and encouragements from the life of David. But in this particular portion, we find he's running from Saul. Saul's out to get him. And he gets, basically he gets tired of running from Saul. And it comes to a place where he says to himself, you know,

If I keep doing this, at some point Saul, he's going to catch up with me. He's going to kill me. And it's just all going to be over. And so he decides, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go to the land of the Philistines. When I go to the land of the Philistines, then Saul will stop chasing me. Now, if you remember, the Philistines were the enemies of Israel. They were neighbors, but they were always at war. And so David goes, and it's interesting, his plan works well.

Saul gives up. He says, oh man, he hears David's in the Philistine territory. I'm going to stop chasing him. Victory, right? But that path that David went down, if you know the story, if you don't, you can read through 1 and 2 Samuel and be familiar with it. It was the worst thing that he could have done. It began years of deception that he lived in, deceiving the Philistines. It began years of really...

very horrible behavior on his part, mercilessly killing men, women, and children, entire cities and towns so that no one would escape and let the Philistines know what he was really doing. Even to the point that the climax of that was when he's with the Philistines about to go into battle with the kingdom of Israel. It was a road of destruction for him, caused his family to be kidnapped, the city to be destroyed. It was horrible.

But his plan worked. Saul stopped chasing him. And as I was meditating on that, as I read this past week, I began to think about how we can so easily fall into that same trap. Where there's a situation in front of us.

There's a situation perhaps that we've been going through and we've done okay this far, but man, it's just, if it happens one more time or if this happens or if that happens, man, I'm just, I'm not going to make it or I'm not going to get what I need or I'm not going to be provided for or just, you know, my life's going to be destroyed. And so we begin to think and conjure up in ourselves, what can I do?

See, and the dangerous thing is that oftentimes the plans we conjure up, they work. But it's the worst thing for us. God didn't tell David to go to the Philistine land. This is David's idea. Why? Well, here's where it boils down to. Here's the real issue, the root issue. He feared the hand of Saul. The fear of man will be a snare to you, the Bible says. He feared Saul. God had anointed him king.

He had the promise of God that he would be king of Israel. But he forgot that. He didn't fear God anymore. He feared Saul more. Saul became more important than God. And he, instead of trusting in the Lord and fearing God, feared Saul, relied upon his own strength and tried to resolve the situation himself, but ended up making a mess and causing more problem than if he would have just feared God instead of Saul.

And in your life and my life, the same is true. Don't fear man. Whatever situation you're in, whatever situation you've been facing, maybe you've escaped a couple times, but now it just looks like it's not going to make it. You're going to be destroyed. Don't resort to your own understanding.

Don't resort to your own intelligence and your own schemes and plans. You fear God. Don't compromise the word of God. Don't compromise the way he's called you to live and the things he's called you to do. Fear the Lord. Live by his word and trust him to take care of you. Famous scripture from Proverbs, Proverbs 3. Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways, acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. And he won't do it into the Philistine country, which will be the worst thing for you. He'll direct your path to the place he wants you to go. It might be bumpy. There might be some difficult places, but he'll be with you. It's his path, and you know that the destination is worth it.

Let's pray. Heavenly Father, God, we ask as we meditate and reflect upon Proverbs 31 that we would be people who fear you.