PROVERBS 182006 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: Proverbs 18

You are listening to FerventWord, an online Bible study ministry with teachings and tools to help you grow deeper in your relationship with God. The following message was taught by Jerry Simmons in 2006.

Proverbs chapter 18 this evening, as we continue our journey through the book of Proverbs. And I don't know about you, but man, this book is so full of just wonderful things. It's kind of like I wish I could memorize the entire book, because every time I see something and it's just powerful and incredible. And I think, now, why didn't I think of that in just, you know, last week when I was dealing with that scenario and situation? And there's always things that God continues to show us.

from these things. And so I pray that you would take note of these things as God speaks to your heart as we go through. And I know that we go through quite quickly, but God will be throwing up flags next to the verses that he wants you to meditate on. And he'll be putting asterisks all around them and bold facing the words for you in your mind. And you'll know, hey, this is something God wants me to meditate upon. And so I would encourage you to

Have a pen handy and take some notes and be ready as God speaks to your heart to meditate on those things for this coming week.

Each week as we've been looking at the Proverbs, there's kind of been predominant themes and we haven't focused on them too much, but a lot of times there'll be Proverbs that focus on certain things and maybe like anger or so on and so forth. And this evening is no different. There's two predominant themes that I kept seeing over and over again and

There's probably others as well, but these are the ones probably God wanted me to listen to the most. And so I pass it on to you. And that is, once again, the things that we speak, but also another theme that's throughout we'll see this evening is the way that we listen.

And so it's important, the things that we speak and the words that we use, but also the way that we listen. With the example of verse 1, a man who isolates himself seeks his own desire. He rages against all wise judgment. Here is a man who will not listen. He's a man who isolates himself and as a result seeks his own desire.

Now, God said in the beginning that it is not good for man to be alone. And that's Genesis chapter two, verse 18. It's in the context of God providing a wife for man. But the principle applies that it's not good for men to be alone. It's not good for a man or a woman to isolate themselves and to be alone. It's a huge, important subject. When

We're not just talking about isolating yourself in the sense of physical proximity and that you keep your distance from everyone else, although that would definitely be included. But it's those who isolate themselves spiritually, emotionally, in every part of their life. You know, there was a time in my life where I was going down a path that was clearly the wrong path.

And several people tried to talk to me and share with me about where I was going and what they saw in my life, but it didn't make any difference to me. What I was doing seemed right to me and it made sense to me, and so it didn't really matter what everybody else said. And during that time as I was going through that and set in my ways, there was a friend who I wish I would have listened to, but he

This friend said, you know, when two or three people that you know love you tell you the same thing about your life.

You better listen to them and pay attention. If there's two or three people in your life that are speaking the same things to you independently, but they're looking and they love you, you know they love you, and they share these things in your life, you ought to listen to them and you ought to pay attention to them because they're probably right. But you know me, I just continued on, set in my ways and figured I know what I'm doing.

But we need to not be that way. We need to learn to let ourselves be accountable to the people that God has placed in our life. We have so many kings throughout the Old Testament and people as well who disregarded the counsel of the prophets, of the people that God sent to them and the message that God gave to them. And they just disregarded it. They didn't listen at all.

A man who isolates himself, who keeps himself from others, keeps himself from the counsel of others, the wisdom of others, the conversation of others, the presence of others. If we isolate ourselves, the result is we seek our own desire and we begin to rage against all wise judgment or against all wisdom. And so know this, if you feel like everyone is out to get you or if everyone else is always wrong,

You've isolated yourself and you need to humble yourself and listen to those that love you. If you isolate yourself, you will find yourself driven by your own desires, which is not a good place to be. You're going to be convinced that you're right and everyone else is wrong. You're going to be raging against all wisdom. Verse two, a fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.

Here again, someone who will not listen but loves to talk. The New International Version puts it this way. A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing his own opinions. Broadcasting his own thoughts, his own opinions, even though he has no care, no concern for understanding, for listening and receiving. The fool doesn't care to listen to anyone else.

They only care to tell other people what they think. Now, it's okay to have opinions. We all have opinions. Granted, some have them more than others, but we all have them. We need to remember the James principle. Remember the James principle? We should be quick to speak, right? No. What should we be quick to do? Listen. He says, be quick to listen, but

Slow to speak and slow to become angry. The principle is, and we'll refer back to this a few times tonight, is to be quick to listen but slow to speak.

That is the principle that we must live by and learn to live by. The fool does not live by that principle. They have no delight in listening or understanding or seeking knowledge or wondering what God wants to do or what God wants to say. But all they care about is expressing their own heart, their own opinion, what they think. Be quick to receive, quick to get understanding from the word of God, quick to listen to others and slow to express your heart and your opinion. Listen to others.

Listen to what others have to say and value their wisdom. Verse 3. When the wicked comes, contempt comes also, and with dishonor comes reproach.

Wickedness and contempt go hand in hand. That word contempt, it means to despise. And when the wicked comes, here comes the contempt, the despising. Honor and dishonor and reproach go hand in hand as well, just like wickedness and contempt. Now, this may or may not apply to people right now as we see it. We may not see immediate results of this.

The wicked person won't necessarily receive contempt right now as we see it. There's a lot of people who are wicked and yet receive great honor. But know that it will come to pass. Wickedness brings contempt. Just like Romans 6.23, the wages of sin is death. It will happen. It's going to take place. God's word will be fulfilled. Verse 4 says,

The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. The wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook. So the next thing someone says to you, just say, whoa, that's deep. They're deep waters. This again stresses to us the importance not of talking, but of listening. The words of a man's mouth are deep waters. Deep waters speaking about or referring to the fact that there's much there.

There's much to dig into, much to draw out. And the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook. Speaking of flowing water, it's always fresh, it's always new. There's continual freshness coming forth. It's important for us to listen to those that God has given wisdom to in our lives, to those that love us. There's great wealth in what they say to us and what they share with us.

There's constantly new things that God wants to reveal to us through those that would love us enough to share with us what God has been speaking or what they see and the way that God has been speaking to their hearts. Listen, don't be so full of yourself. Fill yourself with the waters of

Of those that God has placed in your life. Listen to what they say. Listen to what God speaks through them. We need to be quiet and learn to listen to others. Verse 5. It is not good to show partiality to the wicked or to overthrow the righteous in judgment. Now this is something we saw a few times last week in chapter 17 as well. Injustice.

injustice. It's not good. It's not right. It brings us pain. It brings us torment even to see injustice, showing partiality to the wicked, playing favorites in that way. It happens all the time. But again, we can know and trust that God is just and it will work out in the end. God's will will be done. Justice will be taken care of.

In the end, and we hold on and look to that. But for us, we need to know it's not good for us to show partiality to the wicked. It's not good to overthrow the righteous in judgment. We need to do what's right to make the right decisions and to do the things that God would have us to do. Verses six and seven, a fool's lips enter into contention and his mouth calls for blows. A fool's mouth is his destruction.

And his lips are the snare of his soul. Does your mouth ever get you into trouble? When I was growing up, I had a friend. Man, he had a big mouth. You probably had one of those friends. I think almost every one of us did. He was always getting us into trouble. I remember this one time we were walking through the park by his house. And it was just him and I. And we're young. We're probably junior high, you know, 12, 13 years old. And he's there and he sees these kids across the way walking.

And they're punkers. And they're like, you know, high school age punkers. And he starts yelling at them and making fun of their mohawks and their colored hair. There's like four or five of these guys. And I'm looking at him like, what are you doing? And they start yelling back. And they yell back and forth for a while. And we spent the rest of the afternoon running and hiding so that we wouldn't get caught because they were chasing us all over the place. Man, his mouth was always getting us in trouble.

Now, I'm going to say this as tactfully as I can. If your mouth is always getting you into trouble, then you're a fool. Don't laugh, Harvey. That was as tactful as I could get. If your mouth is always getting you into fights, you're a fool.

That's what he said. A fool's lips enter into contention. His mouth calls for blows. A fool's mouth is his destruction and his lips are the snare of his soul. We need to be careful with our words. Don't be foolish entering into quarrels and battles and fights and contentions.

Last week we looked at Proverbs 17, 14, which says, The beginning of strife is like the releasing water. Therefore, stop contention before a quarrel starts. The wise thing to do, the right thing to do, the godly thing to do is to stop the contention, to stop the quarrel on your part. To hold back and not enter into those things. Because once you do, it's like releasing water. There's going to be great damage and destruction there.

That's a foolish thing to do. And you can't repair it completely afterwards. It will never be the same after that quarrel, contention, or fight. And so don't be a fool. Keep yourself back. Don't use your mouth to get involved in contentions, to call for blows, to bring destruction, or to be the snare of your soul. The importance of the words that we speak, the way that we speak, these mouths. We understand James. Man, it's...

A world of evil set on fire by hell. So we need to ask God to anoint our lips and to keep us from speaking anything that is destructive or that leads us astray. Verse 8. The words of a tailbearer are like tasty trifles and they go down into the inmost body. The words of a tailbearer. Here we go again with the words. But it's also about listening. What do you listen to?

The words of a tailbearer are like tasty trifles. They're like great candies that you just love to enjoy and suck on and think about and meditate on. And thinking about that candy or that thing just, you know, kind of makes you salivate a little bit. You go, hmm, that sounds good. The words of a tailbearer are like that. And they go down to the inmost body. A tailbearer is a gossip. It's one who goes around with juicy tales.

Now, our society really enjoys gossip. I think maybe we don't have much better to do. But it's centered around talking about everybody else and the entertainment is all about that. The tabloids, the TV shows, the magazines, the radio shows, etc., etc., etc. But it's not just out there in society and out there in the world. It happens personally and individually within families, within friends. It happens everywhere.

Within the church as well. And you would hope it would be something you just have to deal with in high school, right? Because everybody dealt with that in high school. Unless you're homeschooled, then it's a lot easier. But in high school, you know, there's the gossip and the slander and all the drama. But it doesn't cease. It doesn't end. It continues on. And we see it throughout the church all the time. Gossip and slander continue. But the problem is they're so destructive. But here's the truth.

We like gossip. We like the tailbearer's tails. That's why they're like tasty trifles. They're not like Brussels sprouts or broccoli or whatever other food you don't like. They're like tasty trifles. Give me some more. They're enticing, intriguing. We like to hear what's going on. We like to be the ones who know what someone did or what someone said. It's like a tasty trifle to us.

But what we need to realize and what this proverb is about is that listening to gossip affects you. It goes down into the inmost body. The inmost body. This word for body is a word that speaks of the intellect, the mind. It affects your mind. It goes to the deepest part of your heart and your mind. It affects you. You're tainted from then forth.

As you receive that gossip. Gossip and slander. It's bad for everyone. It's bad for those who are delivering the gossip. It's bad for those who are being gossiped about. And it's bad for those who listen. So let me exhort you. Do not take part in gossip or slander. Or anything of the sort. Be careful even what you listen to. Because it will affect you. Verse 9. He who is slothful in his work is brother to...

To him who is a great destroyer. Now, I read this in my Bible and I just wrote next to it, wow. There's a few of these verses in here that are just powerful. Here in Proverbs chapter 18. Think about this for a second. What is Solomon saying? What is God saying? He who is slothful in his work is brother to him who is a great destroyer.

This word destroyer, it's used throughout the Old Testament to describe raiders, those who would come and plumage and pillage and something. You know what raiders do. It's used to describe murderers. I missed that one. It's used to describe the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. This word destruction. Now, lay that alongside him who is a great destroyer alongside Sodom.

He who is slothful in his work. God says the lazy worker is related to the terrorists. That's God's perspective. Now we quickly get caught up in how bad everyone else is. But what we need to do instead, we need to be focused on what God has called us to do and to do it with all of our hearts. We'll get to it in a few weeks. Colossians 3, 23 and 24. Whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men.

Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. For you serve the Lord Christ. Paul tells us in Colossians 3, Everything you do, do it with all your heart as unto the Lord because it's the Lord that you're serving. And so when you're slothful and lazy, you're being slothful and lazy in serving the Lord. And that is just as sinful as destructive activity. Man, it's powerful. Makes us think.

Consider, repent, and ask God to do a work in our hearts. Verse 10. The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are safe. Anytime I see this verse, it reminds me of the good old days. The days when I was young. Everybody laughs when I say that. But it's all relative. I was young. I was here. I was a teenager. Pastor Tom was leading worship every time. And this was one of his favorite songs.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are safe. This is a great proverb to teach us to trust. Trust in the Lord. Look to him. Let him be your strength.

Call upon his name and look to him for protection and deliverance like the psalmist did in Psalm 18 to the Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliver my God, my strength in whom I trust my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Listen to all those things used to describe our God, the one who loves us so dearly, the one who desires relationship with us, the one who's right here with us and in our midst. He's a strong tower. Look to him and trust in him. He's not some distant, far off God that hopefully he'll come through or he'll get here in time. But he's right here with us. He's a strong tower that you can run to and trust in and count on.

It's a proverb to teach us to look to the Lord. Whatever you're going through, the name of the Lord is a strong tower. Trust in Him. Believe His promises. Let Him deliver you. So often we're quick to try to protect ourselves and deliver ourselves. But we need just to let go. To run to our Lord and Savior. Enjoy relationship with Him. And let Him take care of those things. Verse 11 says,

The rich man's wealth is his strong city and like a high wall in his own esteem. Now, this may sound like a good thing, but it's not. The rich man's wealth is his strong city and a high wall and like a high wall in his own esteem. It's saying that the rich man trusts in his riches. Now, with contrast to the name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe. The rich...

looks to himself, his own resources, his own strength. And that takes that from just the wealthy materially, financially, but it takes it to any one of us who would look to our own resources instead of running to the Lord, who would look to our own strength, our own protection, instead of looking to the Lord and running to the Lord and allowing him to be our strong tower and

Let the Lord be your strong tower. Don't let yourself be your own city and your own high wall. I have this protection here and this thing over here and I've got this everything covered because I've got it all figured out. No, let the Lord be your strong tower. Let him be your protection.

See, the problem with being rich, and by that I don't mean, again, the wealthy. Every one of us here is rich when we look to ourselves and rely upon ourselves because we do have resources. We do have money. We do have possessions. And when we look to those things, our credit cards, and we look to those things to deliver us rather than the Lord.

Jesus said, remember Matthew 19 verses 23 and 24. He said, I say to you that it's hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again, I say to you, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. Now, for me, it's hard to put a piece of thread through the eye of a needle. Jesus says it's harder for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, not because the rich cannot be saved, but because you and I

When we have our own resources, rely upon ourself and we don't run to the Lord. See, the name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run to it and are safe. It doesn't say that about the rich. The rich looks to himself. He has a city, he has this high tower, but he's not safe. He looks to himself and is lost. And we need to be careful. We have the tendency to rely upon ourselves in the situations of life, but we need to look to the Lord.

Is this how he wants to meet that need? Is this how he wants to answer that situation? God wants us to rely upon him and not upon ourselves. Verse 12. Before destruction, the heart of a man is haughty. And before honor is humility. How well can you read the signs? If you're driving down the street and the signal light turns yellow, what's going to happen next? Hit the gas? No. No.

It's going to turn red. If the dark clouds come and it gets really cold, what's going to happen next? It's probably going to rain. Maybe snow, depending on where you are. If the heart is haughty, what will happen next? Proverbs says, destruction. Where pride comes, then comes destruction. He says, before destruction, the heart of a man is haughty. Here's the sign. You want to know if destruction is coming? If the heart is haughty, you know it.

Destruction is coming. There's going to be calamity. There's going to be problems and situations that need to be dealt with. Difficulties and hard times. There's going to be destruction if the heart is lifted up in pride. But if the heart is humble, do you know what will happen next? Before humility, or before honor rather, is humility. If the heart is humble,

Then the Lord bestows honor. It's so important for us to have the right heart. Because if our heart is proud and haughty, we can be assured destruction will come. That's what comes before destruction is a haughty heart. But if we humble ourselves, if we live in humility, we can be assured the Lord will lift us up. That's what James 4, 6 says. God says, He resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.

He comes against the proud. That's why there's destruction. But he gives grace to the humble. He lifts up and bestows honor on those who don't deserve it. If their heart is humble and not proud. Verse 13. He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him. Here again we see the importance of listening carefully.

and responding too rapidly. He who answers a matter before he hears it. You ever done that? I know I have. He who answers a matter before he hears it is really quick-witted or really smart, really gifted. No, it's his folly and shame. It's important for us. You know, we're so quick to come to a conclusion and speak our mind and offer our opinion. But again, what is the principle? We should be quick to speak and

No. James 1.19, so then my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. It's a principle that we need to allow God to work in our hearts. Quick to hear. Oh, you're talking? Oh, I want to listen. Now, has this ever happened to you? You know, someone's talking and the whole time you're just thinking about, man, why are they going to be quiet? Because I have this thing I really want to say.

If they keep talking, I might forget what I wanted to say. And it was brilliant. I mean, it was really good. Let every man, let everyone be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath. We really need to slow down and listen to what is being said. We need to listen to what the Lord has to say. And we need to make our decisions slowly, to respond slowly, and let God take care of the rest. Verse 14 says,

The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness. But who can bear a broken spirit? The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness. But who can bear a broken spirit? Now, last week we saw in chapter 17, verse 22, that a broken spirit dries the bones. It sucks the life out of you. It brings weakness, really devastation to the body. Now, Proverbs...

Here in verse 14, it's saying that we can go through a lot of rough and difficult things if our spirit is not broken. Even in sickness, in hard times, in disappointments. But when the spirit is broken, who can bear that? And so what happens when our spirit is broken? It's not something that we can bear. It's too much for us. And that's why it dries the bones. And that's why it brings death to our bodies.

Because if we have a strong spirit, we can continue on. We press forward. And even though there's setbacks and difficulties, we continue to press on. And we love those stories, right? Of those heroes or those sports legends that, man, there's difficulties and things, but they continue to press on. But then there's the broken spirit. Who can bear that? Then the difficulties and things, they're just unbearable because the spirit has been broken.

How's your spirit this evening? Has your spirit been broken? Broken down and discouraged? Defeated? Ready to give up? If you have a broken spirit, run to the Lord. He's a strong tower.

He'll provide for you and you'll be safe in him. Isaiah 57, 15. For thus says the high and lofty one who inhabits eternity, whose name is holy. Now let's just stop there for a second. God's first reminding us of who he is. He's the lofty one who inhabits eternity.

From beginning to end, all time. He has all power. He's the lofty one who is high and lifted up. His name is holy. He's set apart. He's nothing like us. Extremely, infinitely better than us. And here's what he says. I dwell in the high and holy place. Way far away from you guys. No. He says, I dwell in the high and holy place with him who has a contrite and humble spirit.

to revive the spirit of the humble, to revive the heart of the contrite ones. You have a broken spirit, defeated, discouraged. It's okay. You're right where God wants you to be. You're not down here crushed, but if you run to the Lord, you're dwelling in the heavens with him. He's with you to revive you, to renew you, to strengthen you, to give you new life.

God can revive your broken spirit. Rely upon him. Look to him and let him bring healing into your life. Verse 15. The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. This is what Proverbs is all about. The wise keep on learning. Wisdom is not how smart you are. It's not how high your IQ is. It's not how well you did on the SATs.

It's not how intelligent you are. Wisdom is how well you receive instruction. Wisdom is how much you seek knowledge, how teachable you are. The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge. You would think, well, they don't need to. They're prudent already. Why would they need to acquire knowledge? The ear of the wise seeks knowledge. Why would they need to? They're wise. Why would they continue to seek knowledge? Because the wise and the prudent know we still have a long way to go.

We need to learn. Isn't it amazing how God's ways really are different than our own? The high and intellectual and lofty of this world, they've arrived. They've achieved. That's what society thinks. There's no more that they can do or no more that they need to do.

Someone who is successful in their business writes a book and says, look, this is how I did it. I've arrived. I've done it. I've got the wisdom. Here's what you need to know. Just follow my method and you'll have no time. Success in all types of different areas, be it finances or emotions or relationships, whatever the case may be.

But the wise continue to seek knowledge. You have not arrived. You do not know everything. Keep seeking the Lord, his word, his will, his ways. Even if you've been a Christian for 400 years, you don't know everything. Continue to seek the Lord. Be humble and keep learning. Verse 16. A man's gift makes room for him and brings him before great men. Here we see again.

This proverb referring to the subject of giving of bribes. Solomon referred to it last week as well. Now again, he's not condoning the practice of bribery, but recognizing its effectiveness because of the corruption of man. It gets people places. It's wrong. It's unjust. But God's justice will be done. Verse 17. The first one to plead his case or his cause seems right until his neighbor comes and examines him.

Now this is what our whole justice system is based upon. The first one to plead his case seems right until his neighbor comes and examines him. This is a great proverb to memorize, to meditate on whenever you have to make decisions. When people are telling you something, recall this, bring this back to mind and meditate on this proverb. You know, it's interesting how many times God has told us about the importance of listening.

Already in this chapter, we've seen it a few times. The importance of speaking and the words that we speak, we see all throughout the Proverbs. But it's also important the way that we listen and what we listen to. Here, Solomon is saying we need to listen to the whole story, to both sides before we make a decision.

We need to keep this principle in mind. You know, when your co-worker is telling you something about your boss or another co-worker and they're going on and on or they're talking about this situation or that situation. And we can, we can get fired up and we can get caught up in their side, their cause. But we need to consider the whole story. There's two sides to every coin. There's more going on than just one side. When your child is telling you something, you already know that.

Listen to the whole story. The other side. What really happened? What's going on? When the TV, the news, or the media is telling you something, don't just receive it. Consider. Think. Yes, it might seem right. And you might not be able to imagine any other possibility. But wait. Don't come to a conclusion. Don't make a decision. Don't react to one side. Wait until you hear both. And then...

Continue on the path that God would choose. Verse 18. Casting lots causes contentions to cease and keeps the mighty apart. And so here you have it. The Bible says that rock, paper, scissors is a valid solution for arguments, right? To cast the lots causes contentions to cease and it keeps the mighty apart. Essentially, it's better to flip a coin and be done with it than to keep on fighting. But you know what's even better than that? To humble yourself and surrender the fight. It's better than that.

Flipping the coin, casting the lots, or playing rock, paper, scissors. Verse 19. A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle. Here's another one that, man, it would really do us well to just meditate on this.

And to spend some time thinking about this, a brother offended is harder to win than a strong city. What's that saying? That's saying that when I offend someone with what I say or what I do, the way I act, it's harder to win them back. It's harder to regain that relationship, to be reconciled, to have that trust in that relationship once again than it is to defeat an entire city.

Contentions are like the bars of a castle. The bars of a castle that keep the insiders out. No, the outsiders out and the insiders in. The bars of a castle. Contentions between brothers and sisters in the Lord or in your family, between friends. Problems and arguments. They make division. They cause division like bars of a castle. They're not easily penetrated or removed.

It's easier to defeat an entire city. So we need to ask the question, is it really worth fighting about? Is it really worth this? Man, Pastor Rick did such a great job on this subject when he was here in June and he taught the word with us on a Sunday morning. He was sharing with us from 1 Corinthians 6, teaching us that it's better to preserve the relationship than your rights. You might be right, but it's better to

To preserve the relationship than to win the fight. It's better to preserve the relationship, to keep the bars from going up, to keep from offending the brother or the sister than to win the argument. Even if you're right, fights and arguments are like the bars of the castle. They divide and once it's done, it's difficult to restore that relationship. It can be done and it should be done, but it is very difficult.

Again, Proverbs 17, 14. The beginning of strife is like releasing water. Therefore, stop contention before a quarrel starts. The damage is hard to repair. And there will be much damage. So stop it before it starts. Don't get into it with each other. Surrender. Humble yourself. Give in. And don't persist in your fights with brothers and sisters, with family, with friends, with spouses.

They create bars and divisions and things are never the same. So important. Verse 20 and 21. A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth. From the produce of his lips he shall be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit. Here in verses 20 and 21, once again, the lips, the tongue, the mouth,

Solomon tells us over and over again, listen, it's so important, the things that you say, the words that you speak, the way that your lips are used. Now, why does Solomon spend so much time talking about our words and our lips and our tongues and our mouths? Because it's important? Well, yes, but also because it's our greatest struggle. You know, there's a story that's often told of a church that needed a new pastor, and

The old pastor had passed away, and so here's the congregation. And so the elders decide, well, let's put together a committee, and we'll find a pastor and bring them in. And that's what they did. They organized a committee. They found a pastor. They really liked him, and so they hired him on.

And so the pastor comes into this congregation and the first week he teaches this incredible sermon. It's just powerful and impacting. It's really good. It's funny and got a lot of jokes and humor, but then it's insightful and thought-provoking. It was really great. Unlike Pastor Jerry, right? This great and they're applauding themselves. This committee that I call, man, we found the best pastor. Man, this is awesome.

The next week comes and the pastor gets up and he teaches the exact same sermon. And not just the same points, but I mean, it was word for word, same joke, same illustration, same exactly the all way through. In fact, even the time on the recording was exactly the same. And they say, well, you know, OK, it was worth repeating. You know, it really was that good. The committee gets together. Yeah, I mean, it was really good. So it's worth repeating and hearing again. It was really good. The third week comes and the

Pastor gets up and again teaches exactly the same sermon. So finally, the committee is just baffled. What are we going to do? What is going on here? And they send the elders to talk to the pastor and elders come and talk to the pastor and say, hey, the first week, man, that that was a really great message. And the second week, you know, it was worth repeating. But but you have another sermon, right? I mean, you have something else to teach and something else to share. Right.

And the pastor said, I'll preach another sermon when the people start practicing this one. Oh, right. That's why Solomon keeps going through these things, talking about our lips and our mouth and our tongues. Why? He'll stop when we start, when we start practicing and we start guarding our mouths and using them the way that God intended them to be used. Then he'll stop instructing us about our words and our mouths.

But he keeps telling us the same thing because we need to hear it. We need to listen. We need to receive it and apply it. The principle here in verses 20 and 21 is that you reap what you sow. If you sow life with your tongue, if your words edify and build up, if they bring life to those around you, that is what you will reap.

A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth. From the produce of his lips he shall be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. So if you sow life, that's what you reap. But if you sow poison with your tongue, if your words destroy, it doesn't matter if they deserve it or not, if your words destroy, tear down, slander, that is what you will reap. The same measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

Ephesians 4.29, I often quote it to you. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification that it may impart grace to the hearers. It's so important. Nothing corrupt out of our mouths, but only what is good, what builds up, what draws people close to the Lord, bringing over with love, with grace, with mercy, with truth, with

But the things that bring life. Verse 22. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Again, Genesis 2.18. God said it's not good for man to be alone. So he who finds a wife finds a good thing. You know, isn't it great to know that marriage is blessed by the Lord?

Some try to teach and sometimes there's those doctrines that come through. You know, it's better to be single. You're more spiritual if you're single. It's better to stay single and so on and so forth. It's not really what the Bible teaches. God loves marriage. He loves the whole picture because he designed it. He created it. And he created it to be a picture of the relationship that he desires with us and the love that he has with us.

Marriage is good. It was created by God and God says it's a good thing. Now guys, if you disagree that finding a wife is a good thing, understand if your wife is not a good thing, you made her that way. Ephesians 5 verses 25 through 27, relating the way husbands ought to love their wives to the way that Jesus loves the church, how he loves the church, died for the church,

washes the church in the word that he may present the church to himself a glorious bride. You, the way you treat your wife, the way that you love her is the way that she is. She's a reflection of you. She's a reflection of how you love her. And so if your wife is not a good thing, it's you. God wants you to love her like he loves the church. Verse 23 says,

I didn't want to see any elbows going, okay? Verse 23, the poor man uses entreaties, but the rich answers roughly. The poor man uses entreaties or speaks with mercy, begs for mercy, but the rich answers roughly. And again, we see this group called the rich, those who look to themselves and rely upon themselves. It's easy to become rough and uncompassionate.

We were reading this last week in our Bible in a Year how Jesus, after a long day, just full of activity, full of miracles and teachings, and He goes to get away by Himself and the crowds follow Him. And it's the time when there's 5,000 men, not counting women and children, and they're hungry. And He sees them and He has compassion upon them and it compels Him to minister to them. And He continues to minister and teach and share and then provide for them.

That's the attitude in the heart that we need to have with the compassion and love for those in need, for the people around us. Verse 24, a man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. And here in this final verse of Proverbs 18, we look and clearly we see Jesus. Jesus is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

It's true. Jesus said that he would never leave us nor forsake us. He's with you. Whatever you're going through, he's a strong tower. You can run to him and be safe. Lean on him and rely upon him. Look to him for strength. But allow me to throw a different perspective on this verse to challenge ourselves. A man who has friends must himself be friendly. Why? Because most do not truly love.

A man who has friends must be friendly because most are only friends if you're friendly to them. Most are only friends if it's beneficial to them. Most are only friends if it's pleasant and nice. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. You and I should ask ourselves, what type of friend are we?

with those around us, here within the body, those that are part of your family or those that are your co-workers and part of your life, your neighbors, whoever, whoever you come in contact with. What type of friend are you? Are you the friend that is only a friend when the person is good to you? Are you only a friend when you have something to gain from the relationship? Are you only a friend when it's pleasant? Or are you only a friend when it's easy? See, that's not true love.

Nor is it true friendship, especially within the body. Understand that we're a family. We're to love one another with agape, unconditional love. That means that even when they treat you bad, you can be the friend that sticks closer than a brother. You can love them and be their friend. Even when it's not easy, you can love them and be their friend. Even when it's difficult, maybe painful, you can love them and be their friend.

Jesus calls us to be the friend that sticks closer than a brother when he tells us to love one another as he has loved us. And I close with this, John 13, 34 and 35. A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this, all the world will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.

He who has friends must himself be friendly. Not telling us just to be friendly so that we can have lots of friends, but telling us the reality. The true friend is not just friends when the person is friendly, but when it's difficult and hard and painful, we still love. We're still friends. We still care. We still give and serve.

That's when we love one another as Christ has loved us. And that is when we're the friend that sticks closer than a brother. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we do thank you for sending your son to us, Lord, that we do have, regardless of if there's anyone else or not, we have in you, Jesus, a friend that sticks closer than a brother. But God, we ask that you would help us to be that friend.

to others around us. Lord, there's so many who are hurting and in need. Lord, and when we are hurting and in need, it's often those times that those around us are the most distant. God, I pray that you would help us to love like you love. Lord, that we would serve one another even in the midst of difficulty and need and hurt. Lord, even when it's not beneficial to us, even when it's detrimental to us, Lord, may we sacrifice our lives for those around us.

Give to those that you've placed in our lives. God, we ask that you would help us in our listening. Lord, that you would help us not to be quick to speak and slow to listen. Lord, but that we would be quick to listen, eager to hear the wisdom that you've put in the hearts of those around us. The words that you speak through those that you've placed in our lives.

God, that we would be quick and eager to hear and to understand, to seek knowledge, to gain understanding and wisdom. Quick to listen to those who are in need. Lord, that we would be careful to listen to the whole story. And Lord, that we would be slow in our speech. That we'd be careful in the words that we say. Not leading ourselves into contentions and arguments that divide and cause problems and divisions. Things even that are so difficult to repair.

Put a guard over the door of our lips, Lord. Keep corrupt words from coming out of our mouths and help us to edify, to build up, to sow life in the lives of all those who hear. God, we do ask for those relationships that have been divided, that the bars have been set up and set in stone and established. The brother or sister has been offended. God, may we, when we're offended, forgive as you forgive us.

and do our part to mend and restore the relationship. Lord, help us to understand and remember that it's our responsibility, even though we were offended, it's our responsibility too to restore the relationship. God, help us. For those that we have offended, help us, Lord, to humble ourselves and to tear down the walls, to mend the relationships, that we might be the friend that sticks closer than a brother, that we might love one another

as you have loved us. And Lord, all the other areas that you've spoken to our hearts, may we be obedient to you. And the evidence, the evidence, amen.