1 CORINTHIANS 7:24-402004 Teaching by Jerry B Simmons

Teaching Transcript: 1 Corinthians 7:24-40

AI Andrew [00:00:00]:
You are listening to FerventWord, an online bible study ministry with teachings and tools to help you grow deeper in your relationship with God. The following message was taught by Jerry Simmons in 2004.

Jerry Simmons [00:00:14]:
1st Corinthians chapter 7. As we look at the remainder of chapter 7, you might know and, I I I shared with you, you know, last week and the week before that, we'll be talking about, as Paul directs his attention, not to the married, which he did the first part of this chapter, but to the unmarried, to the singles. And so this morning will be, in many ways directed to the singles, but of course, as God's word is so faithful to do, there's many things that apply to all of us whether we're single or not. And so there's a lot of things that God's going to speak to us this morning, I believe, and challenge us, really in our thinking and our practices, compared to God's word, comparing that to to the way of the world and the way that, that we're so familiar with. Before I get started though, I wanted to share a story with you, that happened to me about 10 years ago. I think I was about 16, 15 to 16 years old. And I was hanging out with pastor Tom a lot, and pastor Tom and I were really into to mountain biking. And we, you know, pastor Tom always has his phases.

Jerry Simmons [00:01:13]:
You know, sometimes it's running, it's mountain biking, surfing. So, you know, there's different things. And I was with through all of them. But so when we were mountain biking, we were, you know, going on different ships together and stuff. And there's always one that we we like to do, and, Tom did it several times. I only did it once. But, what we would do is, twice a year, they have a kind of a it's a big race that happens in Mexico, and it's from Rosarito to Ensenada. It's a 50 mile bike ride.

Jerry Simmons [00:01:42]:
And so what it is is, you know, they go down there, and and there's all these people down there, and you you just ride. You ride the old highway from from Rosarito to Ensenada. And and it's a great time. It's kind of a tough ride. There's a lot of hills and curves and things like that. But, but, you know, there's a lot of people there. They just have fun with it. They're on beach cruisers and stuff, and some people take it seriously, but most people just kinda goof off and enjoy it and stuff.

Jerry Simmons [00:02:03]:
And so, we we were planning on going, and I think we're going to the one in April. And so we're getting ready. We're prepping ahead of time and training, you know, trying to find some big hills around here so that we could train and, you know, trying to ride, you know, 25, 30 miles a day just to kinda get your body used to it so you could get ready to ride that the big 50 mile ride. And so it was something we looked forward to. We're excited about. And as we're getting there, we, you know, the day before, we headed down to Mexico. We're gonna stay there in Ensenada at Pastor Tom's father's house, and and we're gonna stay there and just, get ready for the night. And then and then the next morning, we'd wake up and go.

Jerry Simmons [00:02:38]:
Well, before we left, we all met at Pastor Tom's house in Norco and, and started to head down there. Now, you know, it's about like a 2 and a half hour drive to to Mexico or so to the border, and, you know, it just depends on how fast you drive. But we're driving, and and we're we're down there. We're about an hour into the trip, you know, kinda going through the Temecula area, going through there. And, you know, I started thinking, man, I kinda have to go to the bathroom. And I was like, well, you know, I'll be alright. You know, I don't need to tell them to stop. I don't wanna make everybody stop.

Jerry Simmons [00:03:05]:
You know, there's a couple of vans with us. And so we'll just keep going. I'll be alright. It'll be it'll be no problem. Well, we get to the border, and and, we didn't anticipate this, didn't expect it. I had no idea that because it's the day before a big race like that, the border was incredibly packed. In fact, you might be familiar with how the border is coming out of Mexico. Right? And it takes you you know, hour and a half, 2 hours depending on the the day and time you go, but it could take you a long time to get through that border.

Jerry Simmons [00:03:33]:
Well, when you're going in the day before a big race like that, it's worse than getting out. Going in is just insane. And so we come to about the 2nd exit before the border, and traffic's just at a dead stop. We're not moving. There's no hope. We're in the far, you know, left lane. And so there's, like, just a sea of cars. Nobody's moving.

Jerry Simmons [00:03:55]:
And and I really started to have to go to the bathroom really bad. Okay? Now I I don't know if you understand what I I mean, I really had to go, like, really, really, really, really. You still don't seem like you get it. I really had to go. You don't understand. Maybe I should give you a little bit more background information because back then, everybody knew me as the guy who really loved Doctor Pepper. And so I would always have my 2 liters full of Doctor Pepper, and that's what I would drink, and I would have all around. And and, so as I'm there, I'm having to go to the bathroom really bad, and I'm, like, really having to go to the bathroom really, really bad.

Jerry Simmons [00:04:28]:
And and it wasn't a pleasant experience. It wasn't very fun, and I felt the pressure building and the tension mounting. And I'm sitting there, and traffic is not moving. And we're sitting there, and I'm like, there's nothing I can do. What can I do? It's not like I can run off into a shrub or something on the side of the freeway because it's a sea of cement with people all around, and traffic's dead stopped. So there's no way I'm getting out of the car to do that. No. Not gonna do that.

Jerry Simmons [00:04:50]:
What can I do? I can't really do anything. And so I'm starting to, you know, really kinda be in pain now, and it's starting to, you know, be worse and worse. And and I'm dying, and so I'm closing my eyes. And I'm just like, okay, lord. What what can I do? And Tom Hallman, of course, is sitting next to me, and he, he's, you know, they're just talking to have a great time, and they don't notice that I'm, you know, extra quiet. And all of a sudden, Tom looks over, and he goes, dude, are you are you okay? I'm like, no, man. Dude, I had a bathtub really bad, and there's, like, no hope. He's like, oh, man.

Jerry Simmons [00:05:20]:
What? Are you okay? Like and I'm like, no, dude. I gotta go. And so they're talking, and and then, later he looks over and he's all, hey, guys. His eyes are closed, and they're closed really tight. I don't know if he's gonna be okay. And so we're they're talking and they're saying, like, dude, what are you okay? What happened? What'd you drink? And I started thinking back. Well, before I left let's see. Before I left my house, I had a a Doctor Pepper, a can of, you know, Doctor Pepper.

Jerry Simmons [00:05:44]:
And and then I went to Carl's Jr, had dinner, and I, you know, got the big the 32 ounce one, and I filled it up a couple of times. And then, yeah, when we got to Tom's house, remember we went to AM PM, and I got the 44 ounce? Yeah. Well, so now I've got, like, a 120 liter not liters. What is it? Ounces. A 120 ounces of fluid in me. I haven't gone to the bathroom yet, and I'm like, yeah, I really gotta go. I told you I really gotta go. Well, it's I'm telling you, I really, really gotta go.

Jerry Simmons [00:06:12]:
But the traffic is not moving. There's no bathrooms. There's no hope. I'm going, what am I gonna do? So Tom nudges me and says, hey, you got that, empty 44 ounce cup there. You know, if you if you need to, you know, just maybe kinda take a little pressure off, you know. And I'm like, no way. No. Never ever would I that's that's a horrible thought.

Jerry Simmons [00:06:31]:
I can't believe you would even mention it. But of course, 30 minutes later, we're, you know, a little bit closer to the border, but we're still dead stop traffic. There's nothing there. And it sounded a little bit better, but I was like, no way I can't do that. No. Uh-uh. 20 minutes later, you know, now we're, like, by the the last exit. Right? There's no hope.

Jerry Simmons [00:06:50]:
There's no chance left. We're already past it. What am I gonna do? No. I can't do that. I no. No. Uh-uh. That's just how would I even I'm picturing it because we're in a van full of people.

Jerry Simmons [00:07:01]:
You know, we got Tom and Tom Homan and then Joanna, and I forget who else is with this. I got it. And I'm like, yeah, there's just no way. I just it's it's impossible. No way. Another 15 minutes or so, and I'm like, man, I I can't hold it any I gotta do something. I can't. I'm dying.

Jerry Simmons [00:07:20]:
You know, it's at that point. You know how it is where you just it gets painful. You start cramping up. You're like, oh, man. I gotta go. So tell him, he nudges me again and says, hey, you know, Clint and his buddy are behind us, and there's no one in there, man. It's just all the bikes in the back, so you could just jump in the back behind them. They won't see anything.

Jerry Simmons [00:07:40]:
You know, they don't have to worry about it. And I was like, no, dude. I just that's just horrible. I can't even imagine getting out on the freeway walking back. I just no. I just can't do it. But of course, 10 minutes later, well, maybe. I don't know.

Jerry Simmons [00:07:52]:
How would that work? I'm thinking of trying to plan things and figure it out, and then so finally, I was like, forget it. I can't hold it any longer. I gotta go. So I pushed Tom out of the way. I jumped out of the van. Well, I I cautiously stepped out of the van, actually. And, and I went back to the van behind us where Quinn was driving and his friend was in the front seat, and on the back, it was all dark because, you know, there's no lights in there, and it was all the bikes and stuff. And so I was like, hey, guys.

Jerry Simmons [00:08:17]:
And they had no idea what's going on. I was like, I gotta go to the bathroom really bad. And they're just like, oh, okay. And, you know, they didn't they thought I was just making small talk. But in the meantime, I'm taking care of business, and then, you know, just getting stuff taken care of. And I was, like, oh, man. It felt so good. I was, like, oh, finally relieved.

Jerry Simmons [00:08:33]:
Finally finally, the pressure is relieved. But of course, Quint, finally caught on to what was going on. And like only Quint can, he goes, oh, man. And he's like, dude, I can smell it, man. Stop it. It's a horrible story. Why would you tell that, Well, we're talking about singleness today. And can't you see the relation? Can't you see how it fits together? No, probably not.

Jerry Simmons [00:08:56]:
Okay. Well, let's read it together then. 1st Corinthians chapter 7. 1st Corinthians chapter 7. Starting in verse 25, it says this. Now concerning virgins, I have no commandment from the lord, yet I give judgment as one whom the lord and his mercy has made trustworthy. I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed.

Jerry Simmons [00:09:25]:
Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But even if you do marry, you have not sinned. And if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless, such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it, for the form of this world is passing away. But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, verse 34.

Jerry Simmons [00:10:12]:
There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit, but she who is married cares about the things of the world how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. Verse 36. But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly towards his virgin, if she is past the flower of her youth and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin, let them marry. Nevertheless, he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well. So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.

Jerry Simmons [00:11:01]:
A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives. But if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord. But she is happier if she remains as she is according to my judgment, and I think I also have the spirit of God. Here Paul continues through chapter 7, and remember the last couple of weeks, we've been talking specifically to to married couples, to married people, and talking about, you know, developing the relationship within within a married couple, and also that, you know, that we're not to separate. There's not to be times of separation, times of divorce or or division within our marriage. But as Paul is talking here, now he devotes his attention now to those who are single, to those who are not married. Now he did mention briefly, a little bit to the singles, and that was in verses 8 and 9 of 2 weeks ago as we looked at the gift of celibacy. And those who are called to not live forever in singleness, but those who are I'm sorry.

Jerry Simmons [00:12:02]:
Those who are not called to get married, but those who are called to live in singleness and to serve the Lord with absolutely committed, undivided devotion to the Lord. So Paul referenced them there, but then he comes back to it here and begins to speak to all of those who are unmarried and to those who are single. Now if you're here 2 weeks ago, we talked about the gift of celibacy, and you probably thought, well, hey, you know, it's pretty clear from that that, you know, I don't have the gift of celibacy. I'm not called to live this life singly and forever. So that means, you know, I can get my game on. You know? Ladies, look out. Here I come. I'm shining my hair up or my head up, and and I'm getting ready because, you know, hey, I'm not called to be single.

Jerry Simmons [00:12:44]:
I'm called to get married, so I'm gonna play the field, man. I'm gonna find the right one. I'm gonna do what I can and and, get married. Now Paul would disagree with that mentality. Paul would disagree with that idea. As we look here in this portion of scripture, Paul tells us 2 things to single people, 2 main things that he wants to share with us. Number 1, that if you wanna find the right person, if you wanna get married, the first thing you gotta do is remain as you are. Remain as you are, which Paul said in verse 26.

Jerry Simmons [00:13:15]:
He says, I suppose I suppose therefore that it is good because of the present distress that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Remain as you are. That's what you're called to do first, and we'll talk about that. Then secondly, in verse 35, we're called to serve the Lord without distraction. Are you single this morning? Are you called to be single for good? Do you have the gift of celibacy? Or are you called just for a time, for now to be single? Well, God would say to you, number 1, remain as you are. And then number 2, serve the Lord without distraction. See, we can live life the way we choose or the way God chooses. He gives us a choice, and we've talked about this.

Jerry Simmons [00:13:57]:
But Paul's view on Christian singles is completely different than the way that the world views Christian singles, the way that the world views being single in general. And so some of the things are gonna challenge your very thinking. They're gonna challenge your upbringing. They're gonna challenge the way that you live your life. And so I challenge you to take the challenge, to reflect on the word of God, and see what is God saying to you. Will you obey it or will you reject it? Well, in verse 25, he says, now concerning virgins, I have no commandment from the Lord. And we've talked about this, how Paul is basically saying here that Jesus didn't specifically teach about this. Jesus didn't mention, you know, about how to how to live your life in singleness specifically.

Jerry Simmons [00:14:45]:
He didn't cover these areas specifically, but the Holy Spirit has revealed to Paul these things that he will now share. Because he says, yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. God has made him worthy to be believed, worthy to be trusted. It's the word of God inspired by the Holy Spirit. So he's not saying this is not inspired, he's just saying: Jesus didn't deal with this specifically, but this is what God has shown me. This is what the Holy Spirit would say to those who are single. He says in verse 26, he says: I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. What does he say first? Well, he says because of this present distress, it's good for man to remain.

Jerry Simmons [00:15:32]:
It's good for us to be as we are. If we're single, to stay single. If we're married, to stay married, So on and so forth. And he talks about that in verse 27. But he references a reason. He says, because of this present distress. What present distress was Paul talking about? Well, we have a a few different things that could be the case that Paul was talking about. Number 1, he could have been talking about the the current situations that were going on within the city of Corinth, as we've been talking about how much sexual immorality was going on, how much division and and separation and divorce was going on within the body of Christ.

Jerry Simmons [00:16:08]:
And Paul could be saying that, hey, because of, you know, all these things and these problems in marriage and these problems with sexual immorality, it's better for you to remain as you are and just stay serving the Lord and and not get caught up in those things and not add those troubles to your life. Another thing he could've been talking about was maybe coming persecution. There was persecution and things going on that were causing, you know, troubles and heartache within within the body of Christ. And Paul could have been saying, hey, because of this current persecution, because of the situations that are happening, it's better for you to remain as you are so that you don't have that care, you don't have to be worried about being married or being in that state. Well, the third thing, which I tend to lean towards is as he says the current pressures or the current distresses, the word there for distress is really a word that usually is translated necessity, and it's an idea of pressure. Vines expository dictionary says it's a necessity imposed whether by external circumstances or inward pressures. It's a pressure from without or from within, a a pressure that would pressure you into doing things maybe that you ought not to do. And so Paul here gives us the idea that, hey, because of the the current pressures, because of the the pressures maybe from society around, from, within the desires that you have, those pressures that are there, it's better for you to remain as you are.

Jerry Simmons [00:17:35]:
You know, there could be social pressures that were going on. They were pressuring people to get married, or to develop a relationship, or to be something like that. Or the personal pressures that we go through as individuals, as singles of loneliness, of wanting to be with someone, to wanting to have someone, to wanting to have that spouse, that need, that person that will complete us as the scripture talks about. And so Paul says, hey, because of the current distresses, because of those pressures that are going on, it's better for you, for a man to remain as he is, for you to remain as you are. In first Corinthians chapter 9 verse 16, Paul said, for if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me. Yes. Woe is me if I do not preach the gospel. There in this portion of scripture, in this verse, he says, for necessity is laid upon me.

Jerry Simmons [00:18:26]:
What is he saying? I must, I have to preach the gospel. That's that's what's laid upon me. That's the pressure upon my life. It's the same word that he uses here. And what Paul is saying is if there's those pressures within your life to get married, to hurry up, to rush into things, you gotta get married, man. I gotta, you know, satisfy this loneliness. I gotta take care of the situation. I I just wanna get married.

Jerry Simmons [00:18:53]:
If there's those pressures, then he says the best thing for you is not to get married, but instead to remain as you are, to remain as you are, to stay in your state of singleness, to stay as you are. In verse 27, he says, are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. If you're in the situation where there are pressures around you, friends, family, whatever, pressuring you, saying, hey. When are you gonna get married? You need to get married, married, married, married, married. Hey. I've got the right guy for you. I saw the right man.

Jerry Simmons [00:19:28]:
I saw the right woman. Hey. This is the one for you. If those things around you, the best thing for you, Paul would say, is to remain as you are. If there's pressures within you, saying, oh, I gotta satisfy this loneliness. I gotta do this. I gotta do that. I need to meet the right person.

Jerry Simmons [00:19:43]:
I need to marry this person. The best thing for you, Paul would say, remain as you are. Now we go back to the Mexico story. Now we go back and we understand, hey, I know what it's like to have pressure within me, pressure making me do things that I necessarily don't wanna do, that maybe I know are not good things to do or the best things to do. I know what it's like to have that pressure within me, and as a single person, believe me, been there, done that. It's not any worse. It's not any different. The pressure to get married, the pressure to find that person, the pressure to to fulfill that loneliness is incredible.

Jerry Simmons [00:20:17]:
I know it is. It's crushing. It's as Paul said, it's a distress. But what we must not do is allow those pressures within us or outside of us to direct us in a way that god would not have us go. We cannot allow those pressures to do so. Whether it be friends or family or our own things that we're trying to fulfill, we cannot allow those pressures to make us seek things that god does not want us to seek no matter how much pressure it is. You know, you might have friends or family that kinda bug you about, hey, you know, you're kinda getting up there, you're not getting any any younger, your biological clock is ticking, whatever line they use, whatever phrase they use. We cannot allow those pressures to do that.

Jerry Simmons [00:20:59]:
Pastor Dylan sent me an email a while back, and I was looking at it the other day, and it was just kinda funny. He was laughing. He was talking about, well, it was, you know, one of those emails that just have all these funny quotes and funny sayings and stuff. One of the the sayings, one of the stories was a guy who was saying that, hey, you know, I used to always have, you know, friends and family, man, just really bugging me to get married. They'd, you know, every time we're at a wedding, you know, they poke me in the side and poke me in the the ribs and just say, hey, you're next, man. When are you gonna get married? You're next. You know, you're next in line. And he said, man, it used to bug me and it bothered me a lot.

Jerry Simmons [00:21:33]:
And so finally, I figured out a way to to get them to stop doing that. And and so he goes on to explain that the way he stopped them from doing that was every time he was at a funeral with those same people, he poke him in the side and say, hey, you're next. You're next. You're the next one. And so finally, they stop bugging him. So if you need to get rid of those social pressures, those people around you pressuring you to get married, you know, you can follow that advice. But we can't allow those pressures around us to dictate our lives. We can't give in to those things because those pressures are not from God.

Jerry Simmons [00:22:04]:
Paul says in verse 27, are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. Now he's talking to the unmarried. Why would he say, are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Because he knows and understands this. If I allow the pressures within me or the pressures outside of me to push me into doing something that is not of god's will, and I get married out of god's will, I get married out of god's timing, later on in life, there's gonna be other pressures to do other things. There's gonna be pressures to have an affair. There's gonna be pressures to to walk away from the Lord, or there's gonna be other pressures.

Jerry Simmons [00:22:45]:
Life is full of those pressures. Now if I give in to them now, does that make me stronger for the next time? No, it does not. I'll be the same person that I am today, and so what I need to do today is not give in to those pressures, not give in to those things just because they're heavy, just because they're hard, but instead continue the life, remain as I am, and be the person that God has called me to be. That's what I need to do, that's what you need to do. Whether you're single or married, continue on. Don't give in to those pressures because they're not from God. He says we should remain as we are. We should be content with who God has called us to be, and not give in to those pressures, Not give in, and go jump in the back of the van and do whatever we need to do.

Jerry Simmons [00:23:25]:
No. No. No. Go. That sounded really horrible. I just realized that. Okay. But moving forward.

Jerry Simmons [00:23:31]:
But go on and do the things that God has called you to do. See, it's all about perspective, Paul would say. He says, are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. If I'm not to seek to be loosed, if I'm not to seek a wife, what do I do then? Well, turn with me to Matthew chapter 6. Matthew chapter 6. In Matthew chapter 6, we find Jesus talking to his disciples, and he gives us great words, not specifically about marriage, but great principles for us to live our lives by. Starting in verse 25, he says, therefore, I say to you, do not worry about your life.

Jerry Simmons [00:24:20]:
What you will eat? What you will drink? Who you will marry? Nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are they not of more value than they? Which of you by wearing can add 1 cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider consider the lilies of the field, how they grow, they neither toil nor spin. And yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so closed the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, oh, you of little faith? Therefore, do not worry, saying, what shall we eat, what shall we drink, who shall we marry, or what shall we wear? For after all these things, the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly father knows that you need all these things. But verse 33. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Jerry Simmons [00:25:22]:
Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Paul says don't seek to be loosed if you're married, and don't seek a wife if you're not. Well, what should I seek then? Right here Jesus tells us, Matthew 6:33. Seek first the kingdom of God. What do I need to seek? Jesus Christ. And I need to seek Him first before anything else, above anything anything else, more important than anything else is seeking the kingdom of God. It's all about perspective.

Jerry Simmons [00:25:53]:
Not seeking to be married, not seeking to be loose from marriage, but instead seeking to serve Jesus single mindedly. That that's my drive, that's my purpose, that's what I'm walking towards, that's what I desire for my life. Is that what you desire for your life? We need to single mindedly be totally completely focused on serving Jesus Christ. We need to seek Him first. Now if we seek God first and we're not seeking a wife, then doesn't that mean I'm kind of, you know, killing myself? Because then if I'm not seeking a wife, how am I gonna find 1? If I'm not seeking a wife or a husband, if I'm not seeking this person or that person, how do I know that they're really gonna happen? Well, see, that's the area where he says seek ye first the kingdom of God, and then all these other things will be added to you. All the things that you need, God knows. And all the things that you need, God will provide. Just seek Him first and trust Him to take care of the rest.

Jerry Simmons [00:26:52]:
Put your perspective, put your focus on Jesus Christ. So you're telling me I just need to seek the Lord first? Yeah. Seek Jesus first. I'm not supposed to like don't I gotta find out who I'm attracted to and who you know, what kind of people I like and, you know, what kind of girl or guy is my type. You know, I gotta find out those things so that I can, you know, really just meet the right person and make sure we're compatible. No. You gotta seek first the kingdom of god. Then in god's timing, he will show you who he wants you to marry.

Jerry Simmons [00:27:24]:
K. Now listen. Pay attention to this. K? It's not about trying this, trying that. Okay. I found what I like. No. No.

Jerry Simmons [00:27:31]:
No. You seek the Lord first. Put him first. Serve him. Keep your focus on him. When he's ready in his timing, he'll show you, hey, this is the person that I want you to marry. This is the person that I've called you to spend the rest of your your life with. He'll show you.

Jerry Simmons [00:27:46]:
And you say, he will? Come on. That doesn't make sense. How will he show me? Well, see, here's the problem. We rely upon god in many ways. We look to god in many ways for direction, for guidance. We say, lord, you know, what do you want me to do about my job? What do you want me to do about my schooling? Where do you want me to serve in? And we look to the lord for direction. But many times as singles, when it comes to this area, we say, oh, lord. You don't know.

Jerry Simmons [00:28:11]:
Let me try to help you out. Because what I'm gonna do is I got a plan. I'm gonna go to the single studies, and I'm gonna go to the college and career things, and and there's another single scene that's happening over at this church on the southern night, and and I'm gonna, you know, I'm not really seeking per se. I'm just trying to be available, you know, so that, you know, so you can help, you know, so I can help you out, God. And so I'll be there, and then, you know, hopefully, I'll meet the right one. And and then you'll just make it all work. Well, I I know you will, but I'm not seeking. I'm just I'm just trying to be available, you know.

Jerry Simmons [00:28:41]:
That's what I'm no. No. No. See, what we need to do is seek Jesus first, and then allow him to speak to us and say, hey, here's the person that I want you to spend your time with. Here's the person that I want you to marry. And you say, but Jerry, he doesn't do that. Come on. God doesn't speak in that way.

Jerry Simmons [00:28:58]:
He doesn't show us those kind of thing. I mean, he shows us things like, you know, don't lie, don't sin. You know, he doesn't show us those. No, he does. And let me challenge you in this. If you are not in a position, if you cannot hear from God in this area, then you don't have any business being married. You're just gonna bring more heartache and more turmoil to your own life because you're doing things without hearing from God. You're making life decisions without knowing for sure that this is from God.

Jerry Simmons [00:29:25]:
This is what God has asked me, he's called me to do. This is not the way the world would think. This is not the way that we've been brought up to think and to understand. This is not what we see around our life on the TV, wherever. No. We don't see these things. We don't see, hey, just seek the Lord first and just let the Lord do it in his time. We won't see that.

Jerry Simmons [00:29:47]:
You won't hear that very much, but this is what the apostle Paul is saying. Don't let those pressures push you into seeking. Don't let them push you into deciding, to saying I do. Don't let those pressures do anything unless it's of the lord. If the lord tells you, hey, this is the one, well, then you're you're all free. Go for it. Do what God's called you to do. But until that time, don't let those pressures push you into doing those things.

Jerry Simmons [00:30:10]:
Don't let those pressures, make you do things that are not of God, that are not God's will for your life. So you're saying, Jerry, that I'm not supposed to date and get to know people and stuff. Well, get to know people, make friends. Yeah, absolutely. Encourage people in Christ. But if you're referring to dating as to what we see on TV, what we see in the world, then I would say to you that dating is a great way to practice divorce. If that's what you wanna do, by all means. Try this, try that, didn't work out, I give up, see you later.

Jerry Simmons [00:30:42]:
No. No. No. That's not the way that God word God's word gives us as an outline. That's not the things that God's word teaches us. God's word says seek him first. When He calls you, you follow Him. You follow Him.

Jerry Simmons [00:30:55]:
You don't try different things. You know, hey, I'll try different religions, and then, you know, eventually, I'll get to the right one. And when I'm no. No. You gotta seek Jesus Christ first. You gotta follow Him and serve Him wholeheartedly. And when you put him as the focus of your life, when he is your passion and his timing, he'll he'll do it. And you just gotta trust him to do that.

Jerry Simmons [00:31:16]:
So single person, married person, don't let those pressures push you around because really that's your flesh. Those are the desires of your flesh. And if you let your flesh rule, then you're gonna be going into to carnal living like we're talking about earlier in the book of Corinthians. We don't wanna allow the flesh, our desires, our pressures around us to control our life. Instead, we wholeheartedly devote ourselves and focus on Jesus Christ. But he goes on in verse 28 and says: But even if you do, Mary, you have not sinned. Now this is interesting. This is good.

Jerry Simmons [00:31:49]:
Okay? Because god gives us the freedom to choose who we're gonna marry. He gives us the freedom to choose the timing. He gives us the freedom to marry. Now nobody is perfect. Right? I'm not perfect. You're not perfect. So because we're not perfect, there's 2 people being joined together, there's always going to be problems in marriage. Paul says, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned, nevertheless, such will have trouble in the flesh.

Jerry Simmons [00:32:14]:
But I would spare you, all marriages are going to have trouble. All marriages are going to have hard times and problems. But if you do it God's way, then you're better off. If you don't do it God's way, you're just asking for trouble. If you're pushing ahead, trying to do it your way, allowing those pressures to push you ahead of the Lord, behind the Lord, aside from the Lord, whatever the case may be, if you're not doing it as a response to His call and His direction in your life, you're asking for trouble. Well, why? Well, like I said, if you're not content being single, you're not gonna be content being married. If you're not happy right now, if you're not seeking the Lord now, you're not gonna be happy or seek the Lord later. You gotta do right now what you wanna do for the rest of your life.

Jerry Simmons [00:32:58]:
You gotta seek the Lord. You gotta put Him first. Paul goes on in verse 29 to say, but this I say, brethren, the time is short. The time is short. This is something we need to keep in mind. The time is short. The rapture could happen. Our life is almost over.

Jerry Simmons [00:33:14]:
Time is short. Life is but a vapor, James said. So we need to be careful and to watch out. He says the time is short so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none. Those who weep, as though they did not weep. Those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice. Those who buy, as though they did not possess. And those who use this world as not misusing it for this or for the form of this world is passing away.

Jerry Simmons [00:33:36]:
Paul goes on to say, look, here's what I need you to focus on. Here's what I need you to pay attention to. Time is short. Whether you're married or not, whether you're happy or not, whether you're sorry or not, whether you're weeping or not, whether you're whatever, the most important thing is Jesus Christ because time is short. And seeking Jesus is more important than anything else that you could be involved in. Seeking Him is more important than your wife. Seeking Him is more important than your husband. Seeking Him is more important than anything else in your life.

Jerry Simmons [00:34:07]:
And so we need to seek Him first. You can't say, well, when I'm done with this or that, then I'll seek Him first. That doesn't make sense. You gotta seek him first. You can't say, well, hey. Once I get a wife or once I get a husband, once I get that relationship, then I'll be able to serve the Lord. But for now, you know, I gotta focus on no. No.

Jerry Simmons [00:34:25]:
No. You can't do that. Oh, well, when I'm done weeping, you know, I'm in this time. It's been a really hard time in my life, and and when I'm done with that, when I'm when I'm finished weeping, when I'm finished with my sorrow, then I'll serve no. You can't say that. When I'm done rejoicing and celebrating and, you know, some great things happened and, things are going really well, and so when I'm done with that, then I'll say, no. You can't say that. You gotta seek the Lord first.

Jerry Simmons [00:34:49]:
Put Him before everything else. Right now, wherever you're at, seek Him first. And then all these other things, He'll provide for your needs. He'll take care of you. He promises that he will. And so you don't need to worry about the situation you're in. You don't need to worry about the husband or wife to be anything like that. All you gotta do is seek Jesus Christ first.

Jerry Simmons [00:35:10]:
Make him your passion. Make him your priority. Seek him first. Paul would say if there's pressures around you, if there's pressures within you, then the best thing for you is to remain as you are and seek the Lord. Wait for his direction. Wait for his clear guidance. And you say, oh, but, Jerry, I'm not like you. You know, you're a pastor, and so God, of course, speaks no.

Jerry Simmons [00:35:31]:
No. See, God has called all of us to have that relationship with him. It's not just me. God doesn't speak to me more special because I'm a pastor. I just have a different gift, a different calling. Maybe it's not even different. Maybe some of you have the same gifts and calling. But we're all called to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ, to live our life guided and directed by Him day by day.

Jerry Simmons [00:35:53]:
And so you need to seek first and not not follow the ways of the world, not follow the example that the world gives us. Going on in verses 32 through 35, he says, but I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord that she may be holy both in body and in spirit, but she who is married cares about the things of the world how she may please her husband. Verse 35. And this I say for your own prophet, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

Jerry Simmons [00:36:40]:
Paul goes on to say that I would have you be without care. The reason why I'm sharing these things, Paul would say, is because I don't want you to have other concerns, other things on your mind and on your plate. What is he saying? It kinda sounds like he's talking marriage, doesn't it? Kinda sounds like he's kinda down on it and said, don't get married. You know, you have other cares and other concerns. No. That's not what he's saying. He's saying that you can't allow the pressures around you to tell you that you need to get married now. Instead, use your freedom now.

Jerry Simmons [00:37:10]:
Take advantage of it. Take full advantage of it while you have it. Use the freedom, the calling that god has given you now to be single, you gotta use it now. Use it for all it's worth, man. Go on retreats. Go on mission trips. Go on different things. Serve the Lord.

Jerry Simmons [00:37:23]:
Take every opportunity, every chance you can to serve the Lord, to use those times, to to bring glory to the kingdom of God. That's what we're called to do. When we get married, there's a whole different story. Your whole life changes because now instead of just living life for yourself, instead of just having your own things and doing your own thing, and whatever you wanna do you can do, Now you do, you have a wife, you have a husband. There's a change in priorities, there's a change in a shift in responsibilities and things in your life. And so you can't just do the same things that you used to do, you don't have the freedom that you used to have. Now it's not a bad thing, it's just a different calling. God has called some to marriage, He's called some to singleness, and most to singleness for a time.

Jerry Simmons [00:38:08]:
That you are single for this time, that you would use your freedom to glorify God, to grow, and that you would seek Him first in a way that I could not because I cannot do everything. I cannot go on everything because I have responsibilities. I need to take care and provide for my wife emotionally, physically, whatever, spiritually. I need to take care of her in all those aspects. The same thing with all those who are married here, that we need to take care of each other. And so there's this kind of, you know, there's we wanna serve the Lord, we need to care for our wives. And and the Lord is beautiful because He makes it and is part of His laws and His rules that our first ministry, the first thing that we care for is our wife. And so we serve the Lord by serving our husband or wife.

Jerry Simmons [00:38:51]:
And so it's not that we're no longer serving the Lord anymore, but it's just in a different capacity. As singles, God says Paul says, hey, use your freedom wisely, use your freedom now. There's gonna be a time where you won't be able to to be carefree like you are right now. There's gonna be a time where you're not gonna have the flexibility to be able to do those things. Paul says there's a difference between those who are married and those who are not. And so use the differences to your advantage. Use them that you would bring glory and honor to the Lord. Ask the guys who used to hang out with me if there's a difference.

Jerry Simmons [00:39:23]:
Of course there's a difference. They say, Hey, let's go do this. And I go, Oh, let me ask my wife. I need to make sure I'm not neglecting her. I need to make sure I'm taking care of her needs. And so there's a difference. But we need to use those differences for the glory and the kingdom of God. Now in verse 35 he says: I say this for your own prophet, not that he may put a leash on you.

Jerry Simmons [00:39:43]:
He's not trying to restrict us, not trying to say, Hey, it's a bummer, you gotta put on this leash, you can't do anything. No, no. He's trying to keep us free. He's trying to help us realize that in those times, we need to use our freedom to serve the Lord, he says, without distraction. There's no distractions. He says that in verse 35, that you may serve the Lord without distraction, without things directing our attention into other areas. What do we need to do as singles? Number 1, he said remain as you are. Number 2, serve the Lord without distraction.

Jerry Simmons [00:40:15]:
Take advantage of that freedom and those opportunities to live your life completely sold out for Him. Are you living completely sold out for Jesus Christ? Are you living, serving Him undistracted? That's what God has called us to do. We need to let Jesus be our master. Now when he's our master, He's our Lord. We do what He says. We serve Him. It's a wonderful thing. God blesses us because we allow Him to be our Lord.

Jerry Simmons [00:40:45]:
Now that doesn't mean that we'll never get married. It doesn't mean that, you know, that's gonna last forever and the lord just wants to punish us and make us miserable and not have a husband or wife. No. No. No. He says, serve me without distraction, and I'll provide the rest. I'll take care of the rest because here's what'll happen. If your focus, your number one focus is to seek the lord and serve him without distraction, God will provide a spouse.

Jerry Simmons [00:41:09]:
He will provide a husband or wife. He'll bring them alongside. He'll bring them into your life in His timing. He'll make it happen in His timing. He'll give you direction in his timing. And if you wait upon him and allow him to do the work, then guess what? It's gonna be a work of God. And it's not gonna be to your hurt, but it's gonna be to your benefit. In fact, it won't necessarily distract you, but it will compliment you and you will complement them because God will bring you together that you would serve the Lord together.

Jerry Simmons [00:41:37]:
That's how God's way works. If we allow the pressures of life, the pressures within us to dictate us and cause us to get married or cause us to look for things that are not of God's way or outside of God's timing, then we're gonna have problems, then we're gonna have distractions, then we're gonna have these troubles. We will always have troubles, but when God brings 2 together, He will do it in His timing and His way so that it's a benefit to both, so that both may serve Him, that both may do the things that God has asked him to do. There's different callings. Some are called to be single, most single just for a time until you're married. I'm called to be married. I need to live out my calling. I need to continue on with my calling.

Jerry Simmons [00:42:18]:
Are you single this morning? Has god called you to be single? Then you need to live out your calling. Do what he's called you to do, and serve him without distraction. Don't allow other things to come in and take the place of serving the Lord, of distracting you, taking you away from your walk with him, from seeking him first. We gotta seek the Lord with all of our heart, with all of our soul, with all of our mind, and with all of our strength. That's what we're called to do. Paul goes on in verse 36, and he says, but if any man thinks he is behaving improperly towards his virgin, she if she has passed the flower of her youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin, let them marry. Nevertheless, he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he that he will keep his virgin does well.

Jerry Simmons [00:43:08]:
So then he who gives you in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better. These three verses here, 36, 37, and 38, different translations have a little bit, different perspective on it. Some have it referenced as if it was a father giving his daughter away in marriage, and then this one kinda has it mixed where it's, you know, hey, you know, if I should get married or if I should not get married. So depending on on which version you use and which manuscripts they relied upon, but the the idea, the sense is the same that, hey, if you get married, it's not a sin. God's not saying, hey, if you get married outside of my will, that's it. You're not saved. There's no hope for you. No.

Jerry Simmons [00:43:47]:
He's saying, I wanna save you some trouble. I wanna save you from going through things that you don't have to go through. And so do it my way, please. Do it my way, and and I'll bless you. Do it in my timing, and I'll give you what you need. I'll take care of you. If you wanted to hey, you're not you haven't lost your salvation by by getting married. God gives you the freedom.

Jerry Simmons [00:44:07]:
He gives you the choice. But he says, he who stands steadfast in his heart and says, Hey, I'm just gonna continue seeking the Lord, continue keeping him first. That's a good thing to do. In verse 38 he says, So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better. He's referring back to verses 8 and 9 that, Hey, if you can take it, if you can continue on in that state, then continue on. But if God has spoken to you and said, Hey, I haven't called you to this, I want you to get married. Well then you do what God has called you to do. You do what God has asked you to do.

Jerry Simmons [00:44:40]:
You follow his direction. It's all about the perspective. What is my perspective? Is my life focused looking for and trying to find and satisfy my desire to to have a a person to spend the rest of my life with it? Am I trying to just get rid of this loneliness or be complete or fit in with the crowd? What is my focus? What is my priority? Paul says seek the lord. Remain as you are. Remain as you are and serve the Lord without distraction. Verse 39, he says: A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives, but if her husband dies, she's at liberty to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord. That's important. Verse 40.

Jerry Simmons [00:45:20]:
But she is happier if she remains as she is according to my judgment, and I think I also have the spirit of God. Paul reminds them. So I hate Listen up. Reminder. If you do get married, remember that it's for good, that god's plan doesn't allow for divorce or separation. We talked about that last week. Only in the case of adultery is when Jesus would permit it, but that isn't necessarily a guarantee either. But he says, remember, this is for good.

Jerry Simmons [00:45:49]:
As long as the other's alive, you're bound in that marriage. It's God's law. It's God's plan. It's what God desires. And so again, are you gonna continue on disobeying God or doing it away from God's way or away from God's will? Or are you just gonna do what God has said? Are you gonna follow his commands and follow his word? So Paul says remember that it's forever. If you do get married, remember it's forever. But he says, hey, if you're released from that, if the husband dies, or if you're in your state of singleness, then you're free to to marry whoever you want. God gives you that freedom.

Jerry Simmons [00:46:24]:
But he says only in the Lord, and that's so important. 2nd Corinthians chapter 6 talks to us about that, about not being unequally yoked, about being strapped in together with those who don't have the same desire, who don't have the same perspective. If my desire, my focus is to seek the Lord, I would be unequally yoked if I went into a relationship with someone who has any other desire, because I'm going this way, I wanna seek the Lord. But if someone else wants to go this way or that way or that way, then I wouldn't be properly yoked to them. It wouldn't be right for us to be together because my desire is to seek the Lord. And so what we need to do, Paul says, only in the Lord. Seek the Lord together, then, hey, go for it and do what God has called you to do. But remember that it's forever.

Jerry Simmons [00:47:15]:
Many times, when you talk to those who really wanna be married and they just kinda have that desperation, right, that's like, man, I just gotta do it, and then I'll repent later or whatever. Yeah. Jesus is my Lord, but what they're really saying is I don't listen to him all the times, you know, done in every year. I mean, God knows God's pretty good, and he's pretty good about, you know, my my religious walk and and my job. And, you know, he's pretty good in that. But in this area, hey, this is where I need to provide for myself because he just doesn't seem like he's coming through. Well, let me tell you, you're not trusting him, you're not walking with him, you're not doing what he's called you to do. You're instead obeying your flesh, you're obeying the the pressures around you that are pushing you into doing things that are not God's will, that are not God's will for your life.

Jerry Simmons [00:48:01]:
Will you lose your salvation? No. He's not talking about that. You're starting down a road that's gonna be full of trouble. You're gonna be hurting yourself. But Paul says, hey, it's better for you to remain as you are. Are you single this morning? Are you called to be single for a time? Remain as you are until god speaks to you. Remain as you are. Allow him to speak to you, and then move forward.

Jerry Simmons [00:48:28]:
Serve the lord in the meantime without distraction. That's what we're called to do. All of us that are here this morning, whether we're single or not, are called to single mindedly serve the Lord. He needs to be more important than anything else in our life. He's more important than finding a wife, than finding a husband. He's more important than anything that we can attain or aspire to. He he's more important than anything else. And so we need to serve Him single mindedly.

Jerry Simmons [00:48:56]:
Husband and wife, maybe you're going different directions. Come back together. Seek the Lord. Put Him first in your life. Seek Him first. He'll take care of the rest. He'll take care of all those other things, but you gotta seek the Lord first. Paul says, hey.

Jerry Simmons [00:49:12]:
It's more important that you follow the will of God, that you don't give in to those pressures, man, when it feels like you're just gonna explode. Like my bladder felt like it was gonna explode, man. It's more important you don't allow those to dictate your life, but instead you continue on the way that God has called you to be. We can allow those things to push us around, or we can choose to allow God to strengthen us to do it His way. What do you choose? What's your choice? What are you gonna do, single person, married person? What are you gonna do? Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you for your word, Lord, and just how it deals with us, Lord, right in the areas where we need it, God. I pray that you would strengthen us now, Lord, in these two areas, Lord, in seeking you first. Lord, I pray that you would help us to recognize and to get rid of, Lord, anything that's distracting us, Lord, anything that's come before you and, you and us, God, that anything that would take us away, Lord, that we would seek before you.

Jerry Simmons [00:50:14]:
Lord, help us to seek You first, and just trust that You'll take care of all the other things, all the other things that we need and desire. Lord, help us just to trust in You and allow You to do those things in Your timing. God, I pray that You would help us to serve You without distraction. Lord, that we wouldn't be distracted by the cares of the world, Lord, that we wouldn't be distracted by the pressures of life or the pressures within us, the desires and the the fleshly things within us, God, but instead, Lord, we would set those things aside. We would give them to you, Lord, with the power and the strength that you give us by your holy spirit. Lord, we ask that you'd help us to set those things aside, and help us to make You the priority in our life. Help us to be passionate about You, Lord, to be just focus completely on seeking You and on serving You, God, because that's why You saved us. That's what our life is all about.

Jerry Simmons [00:51:07]:
It's not about us, but it's all about you, Lord. So help us to serve you single mindedly. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

AI Andrew [00:51:18]:
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